Owl Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Oh, and send that to her mom and dad. Yeah...I'm thinking that this should happen too. Let them defend her actions after reading that!
Owl Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I am disgusted. I texted her last night saying that I can finally let go of her, and know nothing will save us. And that's that. Smart...although personally I recommend you bear in mind that it's not "nothing will save us"...it's "she's not worth fighting for, and hasn't been for a very long time".
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 I just don't understand how she can act as if OM is the one she's married to even though he isn't available most of the time, and playing push-pull games with her! Only answers when he wants to and in control of the game. How she can't see this it boggles my mind!
eeyore1981 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I just don't understand how she can act as if OM is the one she's married to even though he isn't available most of the time, and playing push-pull games with her! Only answers when he wants to and in control of the game. How she can't see this it boggles my mind! I feel for you, I really, really do. Your world has been turned upside down, and it hurts. Don't you think you deserve better, though? Don't you think you don't deserve the way she has been treating you? I had a friend, at least I thought he was a friend. I got some heavy vibes he was cheating on his wife, but everyone acted like I was crazy. I even questioned if I was just projecting from my own situation, but I walked away from the whole mess. I found out later on, almost a year later, he was cheating. His wife told me when she talked to her friends, they gave her all kinds of advice that to me sounded like they had her at fault, like have more sex, give bjs, etc. etc. He left her anyway, and treated her like dog cr*p in the process. He even tried to scam her into signing away assets of their marriage to him. She lost a lot of dignity in this process. People like to say it's both parties at fault when one cheats, but I don't believe that. There are other options to work things out or end a relationship besides going behind someone's back and cheating. What she has done and is doing is not your fault. You can give her complete control of the relationship and demean yourself to try to get her back, but think about it...do you really want to be with someone who requires that of you? You are worth more than that, believe it.
drifter777 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I just don't understand how she can act as if OM is the one she's married to even though he isn't available most of the time, and playing push-pull games with her! Only answers when he wants to and in control of the game. How she can't see this it boggles my mind! You can't make sense out of nonsense so don't waste your time trying to understand your WW. The sooner you accept that you are going to divorce and start a new life, the sooner you will begin to heal. Move forward, push thoughts of her out of your mind.
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 She asked me if I was ok when I went to see the kids, told her I'm fine and stopped the urge to tell her that I know of the details of sexting and the plan to meet OM. Didn't have anymore convo as I left after a couple of hours...it's still hard I see
2sunny Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 She engaging in slutty behavior. Nothing wrong with stating the obvious - just as a fact. A statement - not a question...
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 She engaging in slutty behavior. Nothing wrong with stating the obvious - just as a fact. A statement - not a question... What's the use, I mean OM supposedly have some money but every time they f*cked it was at a parking lot of a cheap apt. complex. He didn't have a decency to take her to a nice hotel. And she tells me I make her cheap by me asking her where they did the f*cking - I call it that because she said she didn't love OM - just to have some closure on the matter, and on top of that she's defending OM saying it wasn't like that! And it pisses me off that she's eating out of his hand!
turnera Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 You're done, right? You're divorcing? You're not just saying that as a trick to try to win her back? ` Then here's your secret: Tell her the truth, tell her you've been watching her acting like a whore, you are disgusted with her, and you're going to go find someone worthy of you.
2sunny Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 What's the use, I mean OM supposedly have some money but every time they f*cked it was at a parking lot of a cheap apt. complex. He didn't have a decency to take her to a nice hotel. And she tells me I make her cheap by me asking her where they did the f*cking - I call it that because she said she didn't love OM - just to have some closure on the matter, and on top of that she's defending OM saying it wasn't like that! And it pisses me off that she's eating out of his hand! What difference does it make? Your cheap wife proves that she'd DO this dude in an outhouse! He didn't need to make effort or spend money on her - she's willing to do him wherever he says. Why are you torturing yourself with her any further? She's not worth it.
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 I am so done! I am going to send her all sexting they exchanged then re-file for divorce to get everything I possibly can!
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) Is there any point in letting OMW know of when and where they are going to see each other tomorrow for her sake, not mine? If I do, how should I tell her? Edited June 29, 2012 by Hoping4Better
Trimmer Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 How much jail time would I get if I were to punch him in the face just this one time in front of my wife when they see each other? Does it matter if I do any more harm to this f*cker? I expect you are already past this point, but I also understand that you're not always going to be thinking 100% rationally in the coming days and weeks. So I wanted to remind you that you don't want to do anything that puts yourself in a position where you wouldn't be able to be there for your two kids. If you need an anchor, to prevent you from striking out and doing something stupid, whether against your wife, or against any of the (several, it sounds like?) men she has been with, please, please remember your kids need you to get back to being a stable and loving father as soon as you can. I understand how crazy-making this is, and I don't begrudge you all of your swirling feelings, including violent ones. Don't give in - remember that your kids need you.
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Is there any point in letting OMW know of when and where they are going to see each other tomorrow for her sake, not mine? If I do, how should I tell her?
inpeices Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 H4B, Just wanted to let you know, having read your entire thread, how sorry I am you are going through this. I've just wasted 8 months on a failed reconciliation myself.. Anyway, couple of things..be careful about what / who you disclose to regarding text conversation.. if gained through covert means it could get you in trouble depending on the laws of your country..Telling OM partner what you know..could go either way..bound to make things kick off i'm sure..depends on what you want to achieve by this..we all feel bad for those on the Betrayed side & want to stop them from being made fools of..tricky question.. Anyway H4B, I wish you the best for what you are facing, I see you have had some awesome advice so far. Stay strong, remember you deserve so much better and dont waste a second longer wondering what might have been..Your wife has taken that squarely out of your hands. Good luck!
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) H4B, Just wanted to let you know, having read your entire thread, how sorry I am you are going through this. I've just wasted 8 months on a failed reconciliation myself.. Anyway, couple of things..be careful about what / who you disclose to regarding text conversation.. if gained through covert means it could get you in trouble depending on the laws of your country..Telling OM partner what you know..could go either way..bound to make things kick off i'm sure..depends on what you want to achieve by this..we all feel bad for those on the Betrayed side & want to stop them from being made fools of..tricky question.. Anyway H4B, I wish you the best for what you are facing, I see you have had some awesome advice so far. Stay strong, remember you deserve so much better and dont waste a second longer wondering what might have been..Your wife has taken that squarely out of your hands. Good luck! Ty, I think you just helped me to realize none of this matters anymore anyway.OMW is sick with Alzeimers(of course, never really verified this) and she found out A twice already and nothing has happened...time to really let go of her. If you don't mind me asking, what was the ultimate reason for the failure? She wasn't committed to begin with? Broke NC? etc. Edited June 29, 2012 by Hoping4Better
Owl Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Is there any point in letting OMW know of when and where they are going to see each other tomorrow for her sake, not mine? If I do, how should I tell her? Is she trying to reconcile with her H? If so...then yes, you should give her this info. If she's also in the process of divorce...odds are it won't matter to her at this point.
The Blue Knight Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Been away for a bit H4B. Sorry to see things sliding down hill. I'd let the OMW know. Just my opinion. She has the right to know in this case. Don't bother engaging him. If you do lay him out on the sidewalk, in the end it won't serve any purpose and your kids need a reliable parent at this point. You don't need to be sitting in a jail cell somewhere. Sorry to see things slipping away.
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Been away for a bit H4B. Sorry to see things sliding down hill. I'd let the OMW know. Just my opinion. She has the right to know in this case. Don't bother engaging him. If you do lay him out on the sidewalk, in the end it won't serve any purpose and your kids need a reliable parent at this point. You don't need to be sitting in a jail cell somewhere. Sorry to see things slipping away. Nah, no violence will do any good. My only concern is that if she's really sick with Alzeimer's, don't know if STBX is telling the truth or not, then I don't know about R on her part, maybe that's why OM is doing what he is doing taking advantage of her ill condition.
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Nah, no violence will do any good. My only concern is that if she's really sick with Alzeimer's, don't know if STBX is telling the truth or not, then I don't know about R on her part, maybe that's why OM is doing what he is doing taking advantage of her ill condition. I am thinking maybe OMW is even allowing A to go on.
turnera Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Ty, I think you just helped me to realize none of this matters anymore anyway.OMW is sick with Alzeimers(of course, never really verified this) and she found out A twice already and nothing has happened...time to really let go of her. If you don't mind me asking, what was the ultimate reason for the failure? She wasn't committed to begin with? Broke NC? etc. Wow. How old are you guys?
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Wow. How old are you guys? LOL not that old 37 and 45. OM is a bit older and OMW is same age I believe. How should I go about telling her? Pay a visit or phone call? It'll be awkward to have her not understanding me or she be with her family member.
Author Hoping4Better Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Don't be surprised if OM's wife is just fine. Like of a lot of BS who are given convenient ailments by the WS, I would imagine she may be shocked to learn she has "Alzheimer's" Called twice...got hung up on both times when she was told who I was, either she's sick or ignoring the fact OM is cheating.
Trimmer Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Called twice...got hung up on both times when she was told who I was, either she's sick or ignoring the fact OM is cheating. ... in which case, you've done what you could. The primary purpose of that was now to punish or manipulate anyone, so you don't need to force it to a conclusion; you were offering it as a courtesy to OMW, that put it in her court to take or leave. You've made the overture - offered her the courtesy - and it's done. That's a side issue - don't get distracted from what you need to do for yourself.
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