Boyfriend broke up with me after 6 1/2 years on the phone, really need help

[jgs78]

So here's how it all started and this is the reason why I can't get over him. I just don't understand how he can be totally fine about all of this and I just sit her day in and day out depressed beyond belief.

 

Anyway, we were committed to one another, even though I moved here to NY to pursue my dreams, he stayed in SF and said that it didn't matter, we would work it out. He couldn't leave because he didn't have the financial support to back him up. He said he would see what he could do to try and move out when there was an opportunity. So things were great anyway, he came to visit me in the beginning of the year and then at Christmas I went back and visited him. He was supposed to visit me at Easter. Around that time, he decided to do one of those life-changing seminar things. You know one of those pyramid-scheme programs where they tell you that the only way to continue to change your life is to convince everyone around you that they have to fork over $5,000 and do it too.

 

Well I had noticed that he had changed when I would talk to him on the phone. He was very strange and was sounded like his head wasn't all there. But I didn't really think too much about it. Then right before he was suppose to come and see me, he told me he was really enjoying this seminar and by the way, someone from his seminar was going to stay over at his place because this brainwashing seminar goes from 12pm-12am. I said, oh well that's nice. Then he told me it was a girl. So being so far away from him, you can only imagine how upset I was since he had never acted like this before. I was upset, we got into a fight, and then we weren't so sure that he was going to come and visit. I found out through a colleague of his that it was ok about that girl staying at his place, but what kind of seminar program is that that tells the people in it that they have to let random strangers stay over at their places and don't tell all the details to family members????

 

Anyway so he was supposed to come and see me, and he didn't. He called me the night before his flight and said he wasn't going to come. He said he had just been accepted into the 3rd level of this seminar program and couldn't leave unitl Monday. By that point we were so mad at each other, I didn't think he would come that following Monday. Sure enough, he didn't.

 

Well we patched things up, we talked about how things escalate to how they did. We apologized and forgave each other for freaking out. Things seemed like they were back on track. He was going to plan to come to see me at the end of May.

 

Well his birthday came on May 6. He told me I was his soulmate, he loved me and that he couldn't wait to see me. WELLLLLL 2 days later, I guess that changed.

 

He called me, then had to call me back because someone was on hold. He told me that we were growing apart and that I had no desire to move back to California. I moved here because the industry that I am interested in is here not in California. So to make a long story short, he said he wante to hang on to the memories and be friends. I told him that was impossible. I can't be friend with someone that I shared so many things with for almost 7 years!

 

Well that was that, we hung up. He was trying to make it on the phone like he was just a nice guy trying to break up with me. I am so hurt by the way he did it. On the phone, he actually told me he had been feeling this way since January. I told him, why didn't you talk to me when I was visiting you then????

 

I haven't talked to him since, but when I had a falling out with my friends and I have been unemployed and depressed and no one called me on my birthday, I caved 4 days later EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE TOLD ME NOT TO, and emailed him.

 

I said that I couldn't understand how he could end it the way he did. I didn't understand what I did to make him feel like we weren't worth it anymore. I said I was really hurt by him and that even after all of this I still loved him. I said that maybe he had met someone else and if that was the case, I wish he would have told me (I am still suspicious that there is another girl. He had mentioned a 25 year-old single mom who is a belly dancer in his program a couple of times. When I asked him about her, he said she was in his seminar. My friend who has known him for a long time said he wasn't the type of guy to do that to me. Throughout our relationship, he never cheated . But who knows now when someone joins a cult seminar what it can do to your brain?) Anyway I basically poured my heart out in the email and told him that I just didn't understand.

 

WELL he took his time and wrote me back on June 18th. He told me he completely understood where I was coming from and that he was here for me whenever I needed to talk etc. He said he hated email as a form of medium. He then said that what was troubling was how I didn't want to have any sort of relationship with him.

 

I don't see how he can't understand that I am hurting right now. Obviously he is just fine and isn't thinking about me other than, try to play the good guy. I am so depressed, I can barely leave my apartment. I don't have a job right now, I don't really have any friends here because I was in an intense school program up until the end of May so I had no time to socialize.

 

I hope someone has read all of this email. I hope it isn't too long but I felt it was important to mention my ex and my history. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like such a failure, I want him back. My friends who don't live here, have told me that I just have to wait for him to come to me. It hurts hearing people tell me that yea maybe he has met someone else or maybe he hasn't met someone else, but obviously something made him change his mind about me.

 

I just don't understand how you can go from telling each other that you love each other with all your heart and that you want to be with that person forever to nothing. I wrote him back and told him all those things. I mentioned that I couldn't be friends with him because that was like a demotion.

 

I shouldn't have written him back. I know I shouldn't have. He doesn't care about me anymore, he just cares that he is looking like the bad guy or he just cares that I am not sitting here alone and depressed which is what I am doing. I want him back so badly. I thought he was the one.

 

I really need some advice. Idon't know if he is going to ever write me back. People who I've talked to this about said that don't worry he will call one day. He will call when I am over him. But I love him, I can't get over him. 6 1/2 years is a long time.

 

Can anyone help me, please? Any input? It hurts so much, I can't sleep at night, I keep picturing him with the belly dancer, (if he is with her, he might not be of course) or I just dream about us being together and then I wake up the next day lonely, miserable, and depressed. I can't handle this, I really can't, I have even tried to get counselling help. If anyone knows a good counselor in Manhattan, could you please let me know as well.

 

I hope someone is reading this out there. I appreciate anyone's help.

[Apollo432]

It sounds to me like the distance got the best of the situation. I understand exactly what you are going through. Granted my relationship was not for 6 years but it was the strongest I have ever felt about anyone and was convinced about living happily ever after.

 

I am going through the same thing you are. We were best friends we in love and one day she told me she needed space. I was confident that she would come back and she did. I had to tell her that she needed to be sure that she would never do anything like this again and I let her go again. After that nothing, I didnt hear from her didnt know what she was thinking or how she was feeling and wanted nothing more then to hold her again.

 

I don't know if I would go ahead and blame this seminar on what is happening in your relationship. 6 and 1/2 years is a long time and I think that maybe the distance has played a factor. I know it is hard and that you feel awful but, you need to ask yourself if this is what you are looking for in a relationship. Regardless of distance love should endure.

 

Tis has not been easy for me. I work with her and I am always tempted to email her or call her just to see how she is doing. It has been 4 weeks since we have talked about it. But, I know that I need to stand my ground and one day she will realize what she lost and what I can offer her. I have heard that she is "talking" to someone else which was a knife through the heart.

 

My advice to you is to keep reading the posts on this board they have helped me so much when I had no one else to talk to. There is great advice and the hardest of it being no contact but that is what you need to do right now. He has no idea what he is giving up or what he is losing and he will realize it. Dont force him you will just push him away more.

 

Things always work out for the best! ALWAYS!

[jgs78]

Thank you so much for your reply. I really needed it, I guess I am really just confused about all of this because 6 1/2 years is a long time, and if you really love someone that much as he said he did, you try and make it work. I wouldn't rule the seminar thing as being the main reason why things didn't work out. I mean it was definitely a big factor. He was the kind of "meat and potatoes" kind of guy, watching sports and going for a beer at the bar. Then he started sounded really strange when he did this seminar. Telling me how his life had changed so much, he was now in touch with himself and that I needed to do this seminar too.

 

My stomach just turns when I think that there is the possibility that he is with that single-mom belly dancer. I don't even want to think about it, but you know how it is, you just can't picture the person you loved, the person you thought was your best friend, the person you thought was your soul-mate, with someone else. It really does just make me want to crawl into bed and hope that I never wake up.

 

It is even more difficult for me because I don't have a job and I am kind of new to this place, and I had a falling out with the couple of friends I do have here.

 

Thank you for reading the whole thing by the way, it was a long one, but when emotions are running wild, you have to just let it all out, right? I have been reading the posts on this website and it is really great that I came across it.

 

It is really hard not to pick up the phone and call him. It is even more difficult not to email him. Being this far away, it makes me want to go to any lengths to find out what he is doing. I have been tempted to IM an old colleague of his what is going on, but I stopped myself. I don't know why I want to know if he is with someone else, when I can't bear the thought of him being with someone else. I know it's crazy, I guess I am just hoping for some more reasons as to why he broke it off.

 

My friend told me, he will reget it later and realize he lost something. But my self-esteem is so low right now, I can't help but thing, that there is something wrong with me, that that is why he left. I can't imagine why he would look back and see that I was worth it when he told me that we had nothing to talk about anymore. My friend told me he was just coming up with excuses.

 

How can you stop caring about someone just like that? Why didn't he tell me how he felt back in January? I feel like I have been such a fool. I feel raw inside and that I have nothing left.

[beautiful]

He does not want to be with you- let him go! It is as simple as that. You will only hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt!

[jgs78]

I appreciate your response, but it's just not as simple as that. I'm not a machine, can't just turn off the emotions. After 6 1/2 years of devoting yourself to one person, you can't just say ok, I am not going to feel anything or be upset anymore, ESPECIALLY if you weren't the one to break it off. I have been told the "buck-up" routine by parents and a couple of friends who are harsh critics. I am trying to deal with it one day at a time, but it's hard when I think about the good times.

[sinkerswim]

Hi Jgs...

 

I am sooo sooo sorry you are going through this...I know its hard to let go. BELIEVE ME..

My fiance of 8 years, decided I was smothering one day, and didnt really break it off with me..but wanted "space".

The space turned into 4.5 months. Last I saw him was at his house on Feb. 3rd.

Over those couple of months, I got no answers, no goodbyes after trying to talk to him. So basically, no closure. I cant understand it.

 

What I had to do was go to a psychiatrist who specializes in medicine and he got me on 3 medications. Im also Obsessive Compulsive, which I am sure brought on the "break up". In fact, I know it did.

 

I am seeing a therapist every 2 weeks.

This is the HARDEST thing I have ever gone through. It is like a death.

You have to let yourself grieve.

I was really in a horrible depression and couldnt function. With medication and seeing my therapist is helping me out tremendously.

But I will not lie...

I still cry almost every day over him. Im still "hanging on". Hoping and praying that he comes back.

In fact, I sent out a letter to him today, reminding him that I am still alive and I still love him.

People think I am crazy because of what he has done by just leaving me.

But I cant help it... 8 solid years we have been together. 8 great years and Engaged... I just miss him sooo much.

 

In your case, I would say its the distance. And I am sorry that is happening for you. I can feel your pain.

come on here all you need to, talk to us. We can try to help.

If you feel you really need it, get good help. Call your family...call friends.

I wish you the best of luck... HANG IN THERE.

[lt]

Hi my boyfriend just broke it off with me after 2 years. I feel the same way you do and I do not have time to chat right now, but please email me at (deleted) and we can chat, I am sorry and I cried reading your note because I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Hang in there and remember everything happens for a reason and if he was the one then this would not of happened.

[jgs78]

I really appreciate your responses. It's getting more and more difficult to wake up in the morning. I have been trying to fill my day with activities to forget about him less. Everywhere I go, I see happy couples, I hear songs that remind me of him, or someone says something to me and I am reminded of us. I don't understand why he doesn't want to talk to me and why he said it troubled him that I didn't seem to want any kind of relationship with him. My friend said it just seems that he is trying to come up with reasons so that he doesn't have to talk to me. I am just confused.

 

I was also hurt because another friend of mine had said that he must have been trying really hard not to keep hanging on to our relationship because he was so worried about hurting me. Well doesn't he realize it hurts more that he ended things the way he did? Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me because he is afraid that I will get all clingy and that he will feel bad. I don't know.

 

I know that everyone under the sun has told me that I need to move on and get over him and that when least expect it, he will call. I don't want to move on, I just want him back. I would do anything to get him back, maybe I should have not moved here. I know that if it was meant to be it wouldn't have ended, but what about the possibility of us getting back together. What if I really don't ever call him or contact him? I mean he did say that it was troublesome that I didnt' want to have any kind of relationship with him. Why shouldn't I call him? But at the same time, I don't want to push him away like people told me I will if I try to contact him.

 

I am just losing hope. Maybe he got over me a long time ago and was just hanging on because he felt he had to. I wish he had been truthful. It makes it worse that I am so far away. I know people have told me it is a mixed blessing, but honestly not knowing what the truth is what is keeping me in agony.

 

I don't know how to move on. I put everything into this relationship. I lost myself when I was with him because I didn't need anything else. He made me happy. I don't even really feel like I have interest in things anymore. I feel like at this rate, if he didn't want me, who is gonig to want me now?

 

Thanks to anyone listening out there. It, I hope to hear from you again. Sinkerswim, you really had some great advice. I was so sad to hear about what happened to you, I think you are very brave and are handling it very well.

[jgs78]

I have been really having the urge to pick up the phone and just call him. I really want to do it I know that if he really still loved me, he would call me. BUT he said in his email to me that it was me who didn't want to have any kind of relationship with him. When I wrote him back, I told him it was too difficult to be friends with someone that you called your soulmate. I just want to talk to him and tell him that I think he is making a big mistake. I know that people will say that obviously he doesn't think he is making a mistake that is why he broke it off and that is why he hasn't called me again. I just think that maybe he is just misunderstood. I think maybe the distance is what confused him that he thought that just because I moved here to pursue my dreams, meant that I didnt' want to be with him anymore. But I told him over and over again how much I loved and cared about him. He told me that I was concentrated on being here and he needed me there with him.

 

I just want him back. Am I doing the right thing not talking to him? I feel so unsure of everything now. Please help, anyone.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

You wonder how he could just up and leave you like this after being together for 6 1/2 years. As you know, this was not a sudden thing. It's just sudden to you. As you said, he expressed feeling like this since January. Unfortunately he didn't come forth to tell you about it. Maybe he was confused about how he felt, maybe he was having doubts but was holding on for the sake of love and he didn't want to tell you how he felt because he was hoping those doubts would go away. To be honest with you, I would rather someone break up with me over the phone than to just walk away without a trace. But that's me. That's not you. You obviously feel differently. I have a question for you. Are you upset over the way he broke up, or the fact that he broke up with you?

 

There's no easy way to break up. Regardless of how you do it, someone is going to be hurt. Even if he did break up with you the way you felt would have been an ideal way, would you still want to be his friend?

[jgs78]

No, I'm just upset about the whole thing. I am upset that he doesn't want to have a relationship anymore. I'm upset at both the way he broke up with me and the way he did it. Maybe you're right, maybe he did hang on because he didn't want to give up for the sake of love. But you know what? Then he should have been honest with how he was feeling and not kept it going for 5 months longer. How would you feel if someone pretended that they loved you when deep down they didn't. I think you would feel pretty horrible. I was with him for half of the month of January, he could have talked with me about it then. Maybe over the phone is easy for some people but for me, not seeing the person and looking at their expressions is difficult for me. Yeah of course it is better to break up with someone over the phone than never talk to them again, but I know he is not that much of an a*&hole.

 

I don't know if I can be friends right now. I don't know if I can be friends with him later. I don't want to think about him being with someone else right now. I still love him and if he called and said he would take me back, I would accept it.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Jgs78, I'm not excusing what your boyfriend did. And I have been in a situation where I was with someone and he didn't come forth early to let me know he was having doubts and his feelings were beginning to change. We were together for 3 years and I could tell that something was going on during our last year together. I could tell that something in the air had changed. I gave him plenty of times to explain himself, and I gave him chances to leave. He didn't want to take it because at the time, his desire to leave was not as strong as his desire to stay. It was somewhere in the middle (I found this out later after we broke up). Anyway, I eventually broke it up between us because he wouldn't let go, and I didn't want him to feel like he was doing me a favor holding on to me. It hurt alot, but eventually as time went on, I let it go. Since this is so sudden, it's natural for you to feel the way you do, even to feel angry because of the way things ended. It kind of messes up your trust in people. But eventually as time goes on, you'll let go. If he's not coming back, you don't have a choice.

[Rita]

My b/f of 7 years just broke up with me for one of my friends. I don't have many friends because I was one of those girls who revolved her life around her boyfriend. I actually got his name tattoed on me. I know he still loves me he's just not in love with me anymore and has made it clear that he doesn't want me anymore. His reason is because I'm too caring, I don't drink, and I don't party, basically I'm too nice. It's so stupid and I really don't understand how he could break up with me after everyting we've been through. I understand what you're going through and and am so depressed. I don't know how Im going to get over it. Anyway I wish you the best and hope we both recover in time.

[KaiaMahina]

Jgs, I'm so very sorry for what you're enduring now. I can identify with your situation because, while I'm not unemployed, I am in an area where I have absolutely no family and only two or three friends. Not much of a support system, and no one to be with...my friends are married or in relationships.

 

There's nothing harder than having to go through being cut loose by someone you trusted with everything...your life, your emotions, your future. That kind of betrayal is paralyzing. I was dumped by my fiance a month ago, also by phone, basically because he is too afraid to be married a second time. He pursued me, and proposed long before I was ready, and once I agreed, he took me to look at rings. The next week...the phone call. He told me once that if we ever parted, it would be because I broke up with him, because he would never break up with me. His last email and last phone call were full of "I love you's" but he can't work this out in his own mind and heart.

 

Unfortunately, some people are so self-centered (no matter how generous, caring, loving and supportive they may act) that they will go to any lengths to avoid being hurt, or to avoid having a confrontation and hurting someone else. They don't want to see you suffer because it "bothers" them, so they avoid sitting down with you, looking you straight in the eye, and telling you point blank that they want out. I was dumped because my ex was afraid of marrying me and having me divorce him. To avoid that possible hurt, he was willing to hurt me very badly, and further to do it disrespectfully and callously with a phone call.

 

My feeling is, if a man can look you in the eye and tell you he loves you, if he can look you in the eye while he's making love with you, if he can look you in the eye when he asks you to marry him...the least consideration he could have for you is to look you in the eye when he lets you go. Yes, it will hurt him to see you hurt. But that's the price of having loved. And that's what you owe someone who is going to be hurting for what you're doing for a long time to come. Anything less is simply cowardly and selfish.

 

Your man held onto you for MONTHS after he had already decided in his own mind to leave! And then when he had an opportunity to tell you to your face, he avoided it. I know how badly you're hurting, because I am, too. I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning, and the only reason I do it is because I have to go to work. I come home to an empty apartment, and sit there like a zombie until it's time to go to bed when I can mercifully lose consciousness. But we both have to remember that anyone who could do such a thing to us has something fundamentally wrong with him, that he's not a man of integrity or compassion, that they are barely MEN at all. Rather, they're frightened little boys who are perhaps out of our lives for a good reason that we don't yet understand.

 

People will very often make these unilateral decisions in their heads, with no input from the other party, and simply drop them like a bombshell when least expected. They then walk away from the chaos and destruction and get on with their lives. My ex is NOT sitting at home, he's not barely functioning, he's not sleeping and dreaming and breathing ME. I have made no contact in a month, but I know that he's working and playing his music in clubs at night, and he's not exactly paralyzed with grief. Is it fair that we're going through this? Absolutely not. Is it fair that these people "get away with" conducting their lives like this? No. But I refuse to believe that there isn't a reason for this misery, even though this is the third time I've gone through it.

 

If you can, get some medication, as another post suggests. All you can do right now is slog through. Just get through one day at a time. One night at a time. When you have to cry, cry as much as you want to. Don't expect to feel better right away. You won't. I can't tell you WHEN you'll feel better. Just that you will. Like I said, this is go-around #3 for me.

 

I feel for you and I hope that there is some comfort for you knowing that there are others out here who know how you feel and care about you.

 

Keep your chin up....KM

[popvix]

Hang in there... 9 days ago i thought my world was going to end, and now my 7 year relationship is through and my ex girlfriend left our house for the final time this morning.... to a great feeling of relief and almost happiness that the pain was taken away and healing could start.

 

I too have had the old "by the way, lets break up" bombshell laid on me - so i know exactly where your coming from. The only feelings i have towards my ex now are contempt for the lack of respect she showed either us or our relationship when it hit stony ground - im glad i hit that stage now since the healing can begin, when your in the initial grief/disbelief stage - its impossible to think theres a way out of this.

 

Take it a day at a time and dont let anything bad happen to yourself... if you can at least cope or not cope with it internally and keep a lid on things without turning to drink, or medication, or otherwise messing your own life up because of this... you'll be able to bounce back.

 

Grit your teeth and sit it out - you can do it..

 

best of luck

[jgs78]

Thanks for all of your replies. I still haven't heard anything from my ex. It has been almost 3 months now. I am beginning to give up hope that he will ever consider wanting to patch things up. I am still unemployed and pretty much "lost and alone" in the city.

 

Kaia Mahina - I really appreciate everything you wrote. You summed up pretty much EXACTLY what I am going through. I am mixed with feeling extremely miserable to feeling extremely angry that he did this. What is more hurtful is the fact that he is doing just fine without me. I mean he has met his whole "new" group of lifelong friends or so he said. While I sit here and think about him everyday. I think the sleeping part is the most difficult thing. I just had a horrible dream last night that he was with someone else and I had to sit behind them the whole time in a car. That's got to be the worst dream I've had in a long time! Anyway if only a good thing could happen. I have my health and support from my family BUT not in this situation, but if something good could just come my way, doesn't have to be big, I think I could really just start to get on track. I am trying to hard to pick up the pieces but I keep finding myself falling back to square one. I am really sorry for you and I know that we all just have to keep on moving along. Even if we don't want to get up in the morning and face another day, we just have to force ourselves to do it.

 

Popvix- you just got out of a 7 year relationship as well? If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened between you and your ex that you felt she had a lack of respect for you and your relationship? I'm asking because I wrack myself with guilt about my ex because some people have tried to point out to me that maybe he did the "cult" self-improvement seminar for me and our relationship. I didn't support him on it because I can see through this program and I know it's a fake. But I feel like this was really important to him and because I didn't understand it, that is one of the main reasons why he let go. It's amazing that he probably feels this way when he was never thinking about us first. So I juggle back and forth from feeling guilty to thinking I was wronged in some way. One thing of relief is AT LEAST I don't have to deal with his psychotic co-dependent mother anymore. I don't know if you read any of my earlier posts but if you do, you will see the story about her a few posts back. For now I just feel like each day is a struggle. It's a good thing I don't drink much and never got too into the drug scene. When I talked to a therapist she said it was amazing that I could handle all of this and didn't have a nervous breakdown. Can you believe it? The therapist told me that.

Ah well, I guess it just shows that time is really the healer. I just feel like it was such a waste, I wasted my time. I know I obviously learned some things from him and our relationship. I HATE it when people tell me that kind of thing, I know it but people don't have to tell you that when you are feeling like crap,right? But I seriously thought that he was going to be the one. Guess I was way off on that one. Well not much more I can say, but thanks for your post, you hang in there too.

[popvix]

Hi Jgs,

 

To answer your question - the main issue for me which has in fact meant ive gotten over my ex girlfriend a massive amount in probably only 10 days since we broke up , is the slow realisation of how she handled this whole issue.

 

From what we spoke about, her opinions on me, and our relationship changed within weeks of anniversary, which was the same time she hit 25 years old.... essentially she had some kind of introspective mid life crisis at this point and decided without thinking of the implications that she had to "run away" ..... her way of doing this was to act increasingly recklessly with the way she treat me by coming home late, making promises and not keeping them, and prioritising work friends ahead of the little time we spent together. This all built up over a period of say 3 weeks which ended in an argument which incredibly had her leave me the same evening.

 

I coaxed her back within 2 days and we spent 3 months arguing on and off before everything essentially ended 10 days ago - the main issue i had was that at no time before the first "mini split" or at all through the 3 months sufference she put herself through - she didnt once initiate a discussion involving our relationship or her feelings, even though they were constantly on her mind.

 

Her solution to the way she was feeling, was to avoid me, and our relationship and treat it by running to her work friends - and essentially making it worse by continuing to act without a care to us. What upset me more than anything else was that for the fact we had given 1/4 of our existence on this planet to each other, and been through so much, and made so many sacrifices to each other ... that i wasnt ever given the respect enough for her to swallow her emotions and face me with the reality of the way she was thinking.

 

in the end, we broke up after she spent monday to friday out drinking till midnight, then i broke down on a saturday when she was about to do it for a 6th night - and that brought the issue to its climax.

 

So essentially i felt like our time together, what we had, who i was, and her respect for me had been completely undermined and trampled on through acts of cowardice and selfishness.

 

The interesting thing is that in the end, it was the realisation of how much disrespect and contempt she had shown me, that has allowed me to completely sever 90% of any care or emotion i had for her in a week more or less - once my self respect kicked back in, i stopped feeling empty inside because the emotions for her had gone. This morning when she finally left for good, i was actually pleased to see her go - i couldnt look her in the face and see the girl i fell in love with any more, i just saw a shell.

 

Alot of the pain i see other people feeling, is because they still love that person deeply, regardless of the hurt they have caused by being rejected/dumped - i think once you can set that love aside and start thinking clearly... you can heal and move on.

 

Long answer but i hope that helps

[Jai]

Hi everyone,

 

My ex broke up with me the same way. Called me on the phone and broke up with me and then didn't have the respect to face me and tell me to my face because she felt bad. This is the most disrespectful way I have ever been broken up with. After 6 years you really think you know someone and then they can't even show you any kind of respect because it hurts them too much or so they say. Since my ex split she has treated me like a peice of s""t to the point where I finally told her that if she is not going to speak to me with respect then I didn't want to talk to her at all and hung up. I say to all just try to get out and do stuff to get your mind off of things even if it is for a little bit atleast you will not be [pining all day. It has been 3 weeks since my ex and I broke up and I have finally regained the power. Haha I even have a date tonight with a woman that I know is more my style so I will have to see where it goes. All I can say is that it gets easier with time.

 

Peace,

 

Jai