so, $4000 down the drain

[firehawk_1]

So, i was getting along with this woman in the US very well. spoke each and every day, saw each other on cam etc... and as a sign or to show my commitment/devotion, i bought $4000 ticket to the flight to the US to see her in 2 weeks time.

 

guess what?? It's all over.

 

she was a bit of a hypocrite but also tried to down play me and a whole bunch of other things.

 

sucks because for the first time, thought someone actually liked me ALOT. And losing that money isnt good.... given this economy.

Obviously im not stupid but take my time in getting to know someone. At the same time its like damned if you do and damned if you dont

 

*sigh*. so stupid.

[CarrieT]

Take the trip and enjoy yourself instead!

[firehawk_1]

Thanks. indeed I should but i havent got hotels booked and would cost alot more too.

besides i wouldnt feel right. probably stupidly end up thinking about her - dont know why though. maybe because i havent been able to connect with someone for a VERY long time. i dunno.

[Leegh]

I think she probably did like you a lot. She sounds like the type of person that falls in love quickly and falls out of love quickly. It has nothing to do with you, some people are just like that, as they are unstable. Possibly if you called the airlines they could refund your ticket, it's worth a try, especially if you ask to speak to a manager. Maybe you could re-book it for a future date, I know airlines charge a re-booking fee, but you could go to another city, just to have a vacation to look forward to.

[firehawk_1]

Thanks Leegh.

yeh unfortunately these are non refundable - its how it is over here and especially if the airline is BA (British Airways....)

 

she didnt seem the type to be.. how she appeared to be in the end. always said she was smart/intelligent but clearly not.

 

hurts. but nothing i can do. seems like i can never find anyone at all. i try so much (and so little) - nada. there is always "the next person" or just a bunch of games being played.

 

sure she was hot - ive never had a "hot" girl before really and i havent been with many women either (im respectable and keep myself to myself etc....) - still though, hurts. i wish there was a rule where the other should pay for the inconvenience.... its only fair! lol.

[TMichaels]

So just wondering...

 

Had the two of you talked about your trip in advance and were making plans to see each other, or is this just something you decided to do?

 

Best,

TMichaels

[firehawk_1]

both, definately. she was the one that suggested it etc... and I had it at the back of my mind but only when its suitable and if we "get there". we did.... then this

[carhill]

OP, if you can post your fare code basis, I might be able to help wrt changes/cancellation. Example below for fare LON-NYC, currently 489USD, the lowest current fare for the departure date:

 

Departing LON on 06/02/12 for NYC

Fare basis code OKWUKJB1

Flying BA

Routing via North Atlantic

 

IN THE EVENT OF CHANGES TO TICKETED FLIGHTS
  BEFORE DEPARTURE OF JOURNEY AND WITHIN TICKET VALIDITY
  CERTAIN DOMESTIC REISSUE PROVISIONS MAY BE OVERRIDDEN
  BY THOSE OF BA INTERNATIONAL FARES
  CHARGE GBP 100.00 OR HIGHEST FEE OF ALL CHANGED FARE
  COMPONENTS - INFANT W/O SEAT DISCOUNTS APPLY AND
    REPRICE USING FARES IN EFFECT WHEN TKT WAS ISSUED
    PROVIDED ALL OF THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS ARE MET-
    1. NO CHANGE TO 1ST FARE COMPONENT
    2. WHEN NO INTL COUPONS REMAIN - ALL NEW TRAVEL
    MUST BE DOMESTIC
    3. CHANGE IS BEFORE ORIGINAL SCHEDULED FLIGHT
    4. ANY CARRIER FARES ARE USED
    5. ALL RULE AND BOOKING CODE PROVISIONS ARE MET
    6. ADV RES IS MEASURED FROM ORIGINAL TKT DATE TO
    DEPARTURE OF PRICING UNIT
    OR -
    REPRICE USING FARES IN EFFECT TODAY

 

Sorry to hear that things with this person didn't work out. I've done this a lot and what I do is plan on renting a flat or booking hotels and that way if things go sideways (they have), I've got a plan B. I agree with Carrie that you should travel anyway. You will have lots of opportunities to meet people.

 

Good luck.

[firehawk_1]

Thanks Carhill, I appreciate that and its kind of you to do so. these do state non refundable on the paperwork. And even if you did try to cancel them, you would only get the tax back but then there would be a cancellation fee which would cost more than the value of the tax.

 

it sucks. she acts like its no big deal and continues on to the next person. I should stop thinking about her *points gun at head! lol*

[carhill]

Every ticket I've ever purchased has been 'non-refundable'. I've changed many and canceled some and flown later, all within the fare rules for 'non-refundable' tickets. In fact, I had to cancel a trip from the US to Europe due to an issue when caregiving and later used the value of that ticket to fly to somewhere completely different, less the change fee, at that time 150.00. If you want to explore the process, let me know.

 

She made a choice. You have choices too.

[firehawk_1]

sure id like to explore that process. I did however had to change the departure date once, not sure if it affects the possibility of getting a refund?

 

 

she made a choice maybe but still, at my loss and expense.

[carhill]

No worries, this happened to me back in the infancy of online international dating in the mid-90's. It sucks but is recoverable.

 

I'm working today but, if you'd like to PM me specifics, I'll take some time and research options for you when I get home this evening. If you do, include the details of your first change and what the process and fees were.

[firehawk_1]

Thanks. I will do. im going to ring the agency now and see what they say. I also did take out travel insurance so maybe that covers it - I dont know but will find out.

If it fails.... I will PM you. Thanks again, I appreciate that.

[HeavenOrHell]

How long had you been in touch? Did you talk on the phone/skype every day/most days?

 

Bit confused as to why you were going to see someone who >was a bit of a hypocrite but also tried to down play me and a whole bunch of other things.<

I personally would not meet up with someone like that even it cost no money at all, or do you mean she was only like that AFTER you got your ticket and you had no hint of it before?

 

This is just one more example of not knowing what someone is like for sure IRL *until* you meet them, I see it happen a lot.

 

It doesn't sound like you *both* make a definite plan to meet if you bought a ticket to show a sigh of your commitment/devotion, or was it something you both planned in detail?

 

 

 

 

So, i was getting along with this woman in the US very well. spoke each and every day, saw each other on cam etc... and as a sign or to show my commitment/devotion, i bought $4000 ticket to the flight to the US to see her in 2 weeks time.

 

guess what?? It's all over.

 

she was a bit of a hypocrite but also tried to down play me and a whole bunch of other things.

 

sucks because for the first time, thought someone actually liked me ALOT. And losing that money isnt good.... given this economy.

Obviously im not stupid but take my time in getting to know someone. At the same time its like damned if you do and damned if you dont

 

*sigh*. so stupid.

[HeavenOrHell]

She didn't know you were spending all that money on a ticket though, I don't think you can put the blame on her, you chose to get tickets without asking her first by the sounds of it.

 

I hope you can get a refund, good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

sure id like to explore that process. I did however had to change the departure date once, not sure if it affects the possibility of getting a refund?

 

 

she made a choice maybe but still, at my loss and expense.

[firehawk_1]

Thanks HOrH - let me clarify

 

we had been in touch for a solid 2 months. it was around 5 days a week for about an hour or so each day on the skype with cam. but the plans were definate for sure and in detail.

 

she was excited and everything that I had gotten the tickets and even showed them to her. Then AFTERWARDS within about a week after, she just was... different. she just tried to start some drama, which I said I dont do nor appreciate, then tried to talk to me like a child etc... - and no matter how much I tried to calm her down or stand up for myself (not in an aggressive manner) she just went on and on and on, made me feel very small - i dont appreciate or welcome that AT ALL.

 

ive been through alot in my life and I know what is what however with that attitude, I dont welcome nor stand for it.

 

what sucks is that i really did believe that she was liking me alot and the things she said and what we spoke about - there was a real connection. But the fact that now she is moved on, just like that.... just does hurt. it was literally like one hour she was saying things like oh she had good intentions with me... then off she goes with someone else.

 

its like anything I say, she didnt want to hear it. I dont even know what started the whole thing to be honest. a complete shock!

[firehawk_1]

She didn't know you were spending all that money on a ticket though, I don't think you can put the blame on her, you chose to get tickets without asking her first by the sounds of it.

 

I hope you can get a refund, good luck.

 

she did though..... and sorry but you didnt read the full thread or understood.

 

she was the one suggested it and I did it... and showed her. this is what im saying.

[FitChick]

I'm trying to figure out why you bought such an expensive ticket. I've flown from the US to UK and it's not that expensive. Generally if you book several weeks in advance it's cheaper, staying over the weekend is cheaper, etc. If you book a hotel/airfare package with most airlines, it is cheaper than booking separately.

 

I went to the BA site and plugged in flights from Thursday to Tuesday, as if you were taking a long weekend off from work. Prices ranged from £299 economy to £1337 premium economy. Did you book a first class ticket?

[firehawk_1]

no not at all FitChick. I know what you are saying. its just that time of season apperently and they only had the full fare range which is the highest end. no hotels or anything just the flights on its own.

 

regardless which angle.... still in the hole. people take advantage etc... etc... - no consideration or anything. *sigh* at least I always try and make the effort. an honest one at that.

Edited May 5, 2012 by firehawk_1

[HeavenOrHell]

Thanks for clarifying, yes I can see why you are upset, she's not treated you well or fairly at all by the sounds of it.

I never fully trust someone until I've met them, I keep one foot back until then, but you never even got the chance to meet her

Just a shame she built your hopes up and then let you down, I know what it's like, it's happened to me a few times in one way or another, it does make you feel pretty sh*t and makes it hard to feel hopeful again, or to trust what people are saying.

 

 

 

she did though..... and sorry but you didnt read the full thread or understood.

 

she was the one suggested it and I did it... and showed her. this is what im saying.

[firehawk_1]

Thanks HorH - I appreciate that. its like damned if you do and damned if you dont. of course im not the type to jump straight in but build it up bit by bit... see how that goes (Especially at such a distance but also thinking long term) then move on from that with both parties agreeing to the next phase, whatever it is.

was so looking forward to it too. just puts a big damper on the place and everything. locally is one thing but overseas... just wow.

[firehawk_1]

Great.

 

not refundable. can make changes but costs and you cannot change the destination either.

 

great. (sorry for a little rant but... women! oh the things I do for these people )

[CarrieT]

Firehawk, I'm sorry you have had a really hard lesson in the travel industry and learning about people.

 

I still think you should go on the trip and make it the best vacation you have ever had.

 

And the next time you have to buy a plane ticket, you will undoubtedly do a lot more research about its refundable status...

[firehawk_1]

Thanks Carrie

The thing is no airline apperently does refundable - especially with BA (its how it is and how they make money)

 

you are correct, I should take the trip but it would be totally pointless to be honest. But nonetheless, it just shows what people are like no matter what you do, no matter how much they control/mould you or whatever.... can never win.

 

Thanks again Carrie

[Morai]

My boyfriend flies via BA. He originally had a plane ticket to come see me in January of 2011, but due to family circumstances he couldn't make it. He called BA and asked that the ticket be made open ended or something like that, he paid a fee and it was. So the ticket was valid for a year and he could fly whenever he wanted to he just had to give them one days notice. The year has gone by and he was able to renew the ticket again so its still valid for him to use. And from what I can remember he is able to change destination as well, I think he intends to use it when we go to Mexico together for new years.