Author Character Floss Posted May 13, 2012 Author Share Posted May 13, 2012 Nemo... Some would label it an attachment disorder. Anyway, went to MC, spent about 2.5 hours there. Actually things clicked for me...how by not following my gut, rather than choosing consciously to do or not to do, I have later felt manipulated and resentful. Sometimes it has been manipulation, sometimes not, but all the time I had a choice to say NO but did not. So no reason for me to be the victim, and also more reason to self-parent. The words just came...helped my wife see a bit what it was like growing up at the parent to your mother, etc., the years of not following my gut because that was wrong/selfish and I had to take care of others (her, usually). Being twelve and having her show me pictures of my dad, his mistress and her son at an amusement park, with her telling me, "That's why your father doesn't have time to do things with you." I could have been a headline...I asked her if she wanted me to kill him when he came home (shoot him)...and I would have, to "protect" her, if that's what she wanted. She suggested I go out instead...wound up drinking with a teacher and his GF tilll about 2AM (ah, the 70s...). It all flowed and fit together. As someone who was not parented as a child, as all of us, I am responsible for "parenting" myself today, as we all are. Later at her place she came onto me, crossed my boundaries, I almost gave in but later (too late, in some ways) explained how she crashed my boundaries, knowing she was, yet at the same time I was guilty of not REALLY saying, Hey, that's not something I want now...and maybe hurting her feelings. Dammit, CF, parent yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
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