LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Do whatever you like but I'll guarantee no matter his age you'll end up with a guy who runs in the same circles as you. That's typically who people take as their mate. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Yes I have, but most of what I like to do doesn't attract men. I mean cake decorating, shopping....I guess I can meet nice people who like the arts and writing. Writing by its very nature is a solitary pursuit. It is one of the things you may enjoy doing, but when you do so you are not really putting yourself out there. Only when you get to that stage that you start to publish (online or books), the only way you will meet other people is through other pursuits, and as they get to know you that you like writing, and are probably quite good at it. The visual arts is a slightly different story; it will really matter where you live, and what the art scene is like in your place. It could be a vibrant community, and it could be a "one horse town and the horse died in 1825"-type of community. In the latter type of town you can't really do much, and, if you can't really move, reaching out online to people may well be a viable option. This does not have to be online dating. I am sure there are online communities for your interests, which may be worth considering. People can meet online, in all kinds of places. Link to post Share on other sites
MikeyBe Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Its complicated because everyone is different. Some men will approach anyone... Some of them like a challenge, some of them go for easy, girls with similar interests, different... etc. Most men will only approach women they think want to be approached. And most of them will only approach women they feel want to be approached by them specifically. So if you're a guy with little or no self confidence then you probably assume no one wants to be approached by you, thus you don't approach anyone. (maaany guys are like this) Personally, I will approach anyone just to be outgoing and social but am very shy on an intimate level. I know people are going to mention confidence but it is hard because I am hurting inside. It feels horrible for people to say 'oooooh you look like a model' and all this stuff. [..] I am not a Barbie on display. I can't look perfect everyday nor do I wear make up all the time. Most of the women on campus are perfect all the time or at lease have very minimum flaws, of course they are never by themselves. Confidence also changes your perceptions and how people perceive you. Those girls you're noticing make an effort to look perfect all the time. That's why guys may approach or compliment them. i.e. You notice their hair looks perfect because they make an effort to do so. A guy may also notice and approach or compliment them on it. That same guy probably won't compliment you on your hair if he does't think you care about it. If you're as reclusive as you seem then that guy probably has no clue on what to approach you about. That goes for girls too. (for new friends... or girlfriends if you happen to be open lol) How do I at lease get some options? Gesh I am contemplating online dating only and only dating older men. You have plenty of options, you're just not going for it. (take that to any level you feel comfortable) There are plenty guys that admire girls that don't have to make an effort to look perfect all the time you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glambada Posted May 10, 2012 Author Share Posted May 10, 2012 Its complicated because everyone is different. Some men will approach anyone... Some of them like a challenge, some of them go for easy, girls with similar interests, different... etc. Most men will only approach women they think want to be approached. And most of them will only approach women they feel want to be approached by them specifically. So if you're a guy with little or no self confidence then you probably assume no one wants to be approached by you, thus you don't approach anyone. (maaany guys are like this) Personally, I will approach anyone just to be outgoing and social but am very shy on an intimate level. Confidence also changes your perceptions and how people perceive you. Those girls you're noticing make an effort to look perfect all the time. That's why guys may approach or compliment them. i.e. You notice their hair looks perfect because they make an effort to do so. A guy may also notice and approach or compliment them on it. That same guy probably won't compliment you on your hair if he does't think you care about it. If you're as reclusive as you seem then that guy probably has no clue on what to approach you about. That goes for girls too. (for new friends... or girlfriends if you happen to be open lol) You have plenty of options, you're just not going for it. (take that to any level you feel comfortable) There are plenty guys that admire girls that don't have to make an effort to look perfect all the time you know. Thank you, first off NO I am not open, I like penis! I am also a woman. I remember when I emailed this guy that I had a crush on. I asked him for his number and was straight up ignored. This guy was very outgoing and a very flirty person. He kept finding ways to touch me and was bugging the hell out of me in class the next day. It was so weird, lol. I was mad because he didn't say two words to me about my letter, then he when I said he was cute. I then asked why he didn't have a gf, he said because he wanted to focus on his career! Lol! Link to post Share on other sites
AKollegeGuy Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Speaking s a 25-year-old male virgin, I believe the problem you're experiencing is coming from a phenomenon of an increase of shy men. Basically there are less 'self-assured men' out there that aren't afraid of trying and failing because they know it's all a numbers game, keep trying enough and you'll get one eventually. Unfortunatly, some men don't want to experience rejection because they feel it will only squash what little confidence they have or be afraid of cruel rejections. Even if the girl is interested in him, the fear can presist. For example you put me in the playboy mansion with nothing but playboy bunnies and you can bet I'll be in the corner with a drink by myself. The advice I have to give is approach them yourself. I know it can be nerve wreacking and all, but it sounds like just waiting forsomeone isn't working for you, so try another strategy before all your hope gets crushed beyond repair. Link to post Share on other sites
SavoirFaire Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 (edited) I think a lot of guys are hesitant about this kind of thing to begin with; one reason is being rejected after approaching girls in the past. Enough rejection and many guys just give up the idea entirely. And who can blame them. My advice is to make yourself more approachable. Smile at guys, make eye contact, notice guys, be inviting. I really appreciate girls like this, they are rare. Edited May 14, 2012 by SavoirFaire Link to post Share on other sites
buckeye Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Many years ago, when I was at College, I was hesitant to approach a pretty girl. One day at the student union, this beautiful girl walked past me 3 or 4 times. Each time she smiled. Finally, I said "hi, what's your name". We were together for about 2 years after. She once told me, "I didn't know if you were ever going to take the hint". What I'm getting at is try flashing a beautiful smile and see were it takes you. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Christine52 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I am 25 years old and always wanted a boyfriend because I rarely to never get approached. It is just I would like to know that someone else appreciates my beauty, personality, etc. I am quiet, shy, I like the visual arts and I don't like to drink or go to clubs. I am not religious so I can't really get with a man who is because I like being spiritual and not converting. I know people are going to mention confidence but it is hard because I am hurting inside. It feels horrible for people to say 'oooooh you look like a model' and all this stuff. I have rarely heard this from men in my age group or when I was in college. My parents even told me that once I get to college, the guys would come...but the reality of it is, I am not a Barbie on display. I can't look perfect everyday nor do I wear make up all the time. Most of the women on campus are perfect all the time or at lease have very minimum flaws, of course they are never by themselves. How do I at lease get some options? Gesh I am contemplating online dating only and only dating older men. The best relationships I've been with started with a common ground or interest. Do you work? Go to clubs, associations, gym, dance class? The more busy your life is, the more likely you're going to meet someone who shares the same interests as you! You really need to get yourself out there and have fun to find a boyfriend You are beautiful, and many boys your age are TERRIFIED of rejection. They are SHY. They get NERVOUS when around beautiful girls. Trust me, give them some encouragement, shoot them a smile, start up a friendly conversation about how boring something is, and hopefully they will muster enough courage to ask you out Link to post Share on other sites
Christine52 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I don't want to be accused of Sexual Harassment. Hahahhaha I find this very funny.. I'm in HR so it can be an issue at work, depending HOW you approach a girl lol...Making friendly conversation is not considered sexual harassment. Commenting on how hot she is, or making sexual jokes can be Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I'm about 50/50 on it. I read body languages well. And when I go to school, it looks like every girl is on their period at times. Yes a smile would definitely get you some play. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts