deemus Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 I'm currently in a long term relationship with a man. Just recently he led me to believe he wanted a future with me and was keeping his outlook on marrige open and seemed open to future plans with me. Well I was pleased with this since we have been together for almost 4 years and the topic never came up until a few months ago. To help me further believe that he was thinking of a future with me he kept calling me Mrs. "His last name", the wife, my future wife so on so forth. We take care of each other in a domestic partnership sense (but do not live together that's another topic). Now he seems to be freaked out by the idea because of our friends asking him if he will marry me and when will we be moving in together. I have never pressured him nor will I. I've been letting the relationship take it's natural course, but found it a relief that he was open to marriage. I just don't understand why he would "toy" with the idea with me and when our friends see us happy and ask the general "when are you guys getting married?" he is now totally against it. He now tells me after four years that he is petrified of commitment and does not want to get married to anyone and that he has only loved once and never again. This came out of nowhere and I'm very confused and I don't know how to. The next day he apologized and claimed that he loved me and that he was committed to me but not our future. Sounds like I have a crazy man on my hands.. I needs some insight please... Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 I'd say give him some time. Maybe it's just a phase. Sounds kinda funny that he'd pull a John Kerry on you like that. "I was all for it, but decided against it", kind of attitude. Are you sure there isn't any underlining reason somewhere? Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Perhaps he started "toying" w/ the idea to see your reaction. You say you've never pressured him.. did ou let him know you are agreeable to taking your relationship to the next level? He may see your lack of pressure as a lack of interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 i think at one time he was genuinely wanting to marry you. I think now though that something spooked him and he is unsure. Did something happen recently? Has his behaviour changed in other ways? Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 I know sometimes when other folks ask me the same question for some reason that feels more like pressure. .Especially if those questions are coming from family or very close freinds. Different people react in various ways. Don't assume he's losing interest. He just may not deal well with other folks 'pressuring' him. I know it's taken me 5 years to get to the point of giving the ring. When other folks, especially family or married friends asked me I would get a little defensive for some reason. Kinda like wanting to say "You'll know when it happens." No it may not make sense but just a point of view for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Still wanna know if this is the one that kissed the other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deemus Posted June 29, 2004 Author Share Posted June 29, 2004 Yes it is Faybelle Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 HHHmmmm..... Well it is quite possible all of this is coming from a good dose of cold feet. Have you let him know that you would like to take your relationship to the next level? Link to post Share on other sites
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