I started a triangle in the office... Whos in the wrong?!

[Arabellad25]

Hi everyone, just here looking for a little advice.*

 

I'm a 25 year old female and will totally admit I've caused a bit of a kaffufle in our office and will explain the predicament I've got myself in hoping for some advice,,

 

*I've been working in a really tight team of 10 for 2.5 years.. Even though Majority are males We all get on really well and often go drinking together. Obviously there are some people that get on acceptionally well and there's one guy (rick) *I get on with particularly well *but I never saw it as anything other than buddies as no 1) he has a gf and no 2) I could never think of someone romantically that I was friends with

 

There's another guy in the office (jack) that's pretty quiet, and somehow sly.. He doesn't boast about anything but has gained a reputation as a bit of a womaniser through dating clients and a few girls at the same time.. Anyway, I didn't dislike him but thought he was a bit of a creep / didn't really connect. At Christmas we had a drunk kiss once or twice.. Didn't think anything of it other than silly drunkness... However, a colleague must have seen and started some rumours..which then a month down the line ended in our boss confronting us as though we were having a full on affair, which of course we both denied... Awkward!!*So this was all 5 months ago and has been forgotten about gladly.

 

**I recently handed my notice in at work to go abroad.. The night I took my colleagues out and told them rick was pretty upset as he is a good friend, we all had way too many drinks and I ended telling rick I loved him in a friendly way.. It was not like I was confessing undying love... however as we had even more drinks I ended up kissing rick and he told me he loved me... Big mistake..

 

The next day he was trying to arrange meetings with me / asking to talk to me & I managed to brush it off and after a couple of days I apologised and explained I was just being a drunken fool.. However, he told me that he wasn't,, that was the end of that conversation.. And although it was awkward we were still able to be friends and he was fine with me. ( nice considering what had happened ) - all was good for the next few weeks

 

My last week.. On the Monday evening we had a big night out with clients to say good bye.. Everyone was in good spirits & at the end of the evening it was myself and jack. ( the quiet guy ) I know this is reticules but things got a bit hot and we slept together... Resulting in some marking (scratches) on his neck which were clearly from a sexual encounter and not hideable with a shirt. 0h dear. this was the first of quite a few evenings spent with jack last week.

 

Next day at the office rick couldn't look at me / let alone speak to me... And this continued for a number of days.. Awkwardly most people in the office picked up on this and said nothing at all to either of us.. Knowing that Rick is upset. Incredibly awkward. He announced he wasn't able to come to my leaving drinks on Friday & booked the next week off work.

 

My boss threw a spanner in the works on the day before my last.. He asked me to stay - for at least a month.. Didn't give a real reason.. Just said he didn't want me to leave, but I should only stay if I wanted to.. Incredibly bizaar as if someone resigns he always claims he would never take them back, & is superly good at emphasising that no one is irreplaceable. Anyway, I love everyone I work with & understood so decided to stay a while longer...

 

Obviously that announcement was a total shock to everyone.. Especially rick & jack.

 

Despite everything rick came for 2/3 drinks the next evening at my " staying drinks " and was overly friendly / flirting / almost trying to Wynd jack up... It was so obvious after his week of being upset / ignoring.*

 

After he had left & a few more drinks had been had a few things were mentioned by colleagues.. One girl thought I was staying because of rick,,,, another really observant close friend from the office said - we all know ricks in love with you & realised this week was his last chance.. He's been really down & the atmosphere in the office s awful"

 

The Friday I spent with jack who I do really like although I know it would never be serious.. we chatted about it a lot & he feels it's more that Lee is upset from a competitive point f view..*

 

So to summarise.. I like jack although it's nothing serious.. Rick is in love *with me but has a gf... And now I have to spend more time with them all.. It's always obvious in an office if 2 people are sleeping together & that didn't matter before as I was leaving,, now it's goi g to be crazy!!

 

 

So who is in the wrong here??!*

 

I feel I've been a bitch to rick

 

I feel jack is being a knob head to rick as they were mates / colleagues

 

But I also feel rick can't act so rediculess as he has a gf.*

 

Hmmm.. What shall I do / say to sort this mess?! Help???!

Edited May 7, 2012 by Arabellad25
Name

[Mutant Debutante]

You. You are in the wrong. Are you a kid, or a puppy, or something? Has nobody told you actions have consequences? You can't go around drinking and making out with everybody you work with, and you can't tell guys with girlfriends that you love them. That's gross behavior, and you can see now that it causes humiliating drama...it's also going to make people not take you seriously, if you keep it up. Really, it's time to grow up now.

[darkmoon]

i think if rick has a girlfriend then there are parts of his life you never see, he might fancy you and there might be rivalry with jack, but whatever his demeanour is with you at work - away from work does he spend time with his girlfriend telling her how he pines for you? rhetorical question, the answer is no, otherwise his girlfriend would not be in his life, he's a different man away from the office...ask him exactly how he spends his weekends and evenings away from the office and what he did/does with his girlfriend in his time off, he has no claim on you, it's not mutual betwen you and he has a girlfriend. end of. nobody's fault

Edited May 7, 2012 by darkmoon