Is it ok to date one of your friends ex girlfriends? I really need help!

[bobbyboy]

So lets start out with some background information. I met Jenny about 10 months ago. We me at work and became friends, started to spend time together out side of work. I introduced her to my friends.

 

One of them was David. David and Jenny hit it off so i told David that i would help them hook up. after a few days they were dating and everyone was happy. (i guess i should let you all know that me and her had small feelings for each other but nothing that big) David and jenny dated for about four months or so and then he broke up with her.

 

Well come to find out she still has feelings for me as i do for her. but i have a problem going out with her because of the fact that she has dated and had sex with one of my friends. all of my friends that i have talked to about it have said that we should have gone out in the first place and that we should now. i told them about my feelings and they said that it was not important.

 

i also worry about if we do start to date and anything happens so that we break up it will ruin the friendship that we have now (which is great).

 

What do you think i should do in this situation. And yes i have talked to her about it she very much believes that we should take the risk but i am unsure.( if anyone needs more information i would be happy to give it)

 

Thank you so much

Bobby

[shortbus74]

gotta say no..........unwritten rules of friendship..........

[Fayebelle]

1st and formost- you need to talk to David before you go any farther. No sense risking 2 friendships if you don't have to. 2nd- if he's okay go for it. Sounds like you two have a lot of chemistry and that may be the nucleus of your relationship either way. Ignoring it could be just as much a risk as acting on it. Are Jenny and David still friends? That's even better if he's OK w/ it b/c it shows she is capable of remaining friends if things don't work out.

[kirkyswife]

Females have an unwritten rule that we DO NOT EVER date our ex's.

 

Now I'm wondering if she's cool with it AFTER having sex with your friend WHY you would want to get involved with her.

 

See where I come from they call those kind of girls Toss. Meaning she's been tossed between friends - you just never date in circles of friends - it's just a no no.

[packersgirl]

Talk to David. If he's cool with it, and if he actually encourages it, then go for it. I'm kinda in the same situation too... and even though it may be an unwritten rule, I think that if David doesn't show any sign of caution and if he encourages you, then you should go for it, for sure!

 

But, I do have to agree with Kirky, why would you want to get involved with her after she had sex with your friend? Sure you may like her, and she may like you, but think about it this way. Not only has she kissed your friend, but she's been naked with him and had his thing inside of her... if you get together with her, and you kiss her and you sleep with her, he's been there first. I don't know about you, but that would really bother me.

 

Good luck though...

[beth1.8T]

hmmm i say..hey yeah you should definitely talk to David. and i know that there are all these rules say 'dont go out with ur friends ex' but seriously...he broke up with her. so obviously something happened where if he went out with for four months, and then just dumped her, he doesnt really want much to do with her anymore. if he liked her enough to go out with her for that long, then he'd want her to be happy maybe, too. either way, i think its okay just to go for it!!!

 

good luck!!

<3

[Sunny3715]

I would have to agree with most people who have responded by saying that you should talk to David about it first. Tell him about your feelings and see if it would negatively impact your friendship if you tried dating her. Hopefully he will be honest with you. If they only dated for 4 months that isn't like it is a really long time to the point where I think he might be devistated by the idea. It just shows respect by asking/telling him first. I have been in that situation before and the second time the guy went to my ex and asked if it was cool if he and I became more than friends. The only advice I can give is after you talk to him, if he says it is ok... pay attention to non-verbal clues that he is bothered by it!!! Good Luck

[SingleInTheCity]

Kirkyswife is my best friend and WE DO NOT date any of our friends ex boyfriends/husbands or fiances. Honestly it's really disgusting knowing she had been with him. I wouldn't be able to take him out on "couples" events because folks would be uncomfortable and with all the single available men in the world I had to go back into the basket and pull up something from the past. It's not cool & I couldn't do it - wouldn't do it and would not be friends with a female that did.

 

Best of luck to you.

[A Man seeking truth]

Females have an unwritten rule that we DO NOT EVER date our ex's.

 

Now I'm wondering if she's cool with it AFTER having sex with your friend WHY you would want to get involved with her.

 

See where I come from they call those kind of girls Toss. Meaning she's been tossed between friends - you just never date in circles of friends - it's just a no no.

 

Yea, well... were i come from you don't choose who you love, love chooses you. If you can make a choice, then its not love you seek, its lust. And as we all know, lust dosen't last. I would say, you need to block out the way you see yourself, and realize who you really are. (Just trying to help, no harm ment)