Stuck being the "parent" while my parents act like children

[Xxkreebearxx]

So im 20 and I have 2 little sisters 11 and 14, now my parents are going through a messy divorce and it is effecting my sisters hard. My mom is to busy being lonely and surfing the web for dating sites instead of hearing my sisters silent cry for help and when they do try to express their selves she doesn't really listen. And my dad claims to always miss us but calls every once in awhile barely sends enough money to get by and then wants to get an attitude if any of us tell him how we feel. So I repeatedly have to explain to the girls why their dad isn't home, I have to use my money to get them things when my parents won't, i have to listen to my parents bitch and whine about each other to me and be the messenger because they refuse to talk. Honestly its exhausting and im such and tired of their drama its starting to effect my life and I've got enough issues as it is. How do tell them enough is enough? I've tried and they just won't listen. I love my family and would do anything for them but I can't be mommy and daddy my parents need to get it together and take care of their kids they need them now more than ever. Help?

[january2011]

Refuse to pass on the messages and suggest that they communicate through legal channels or someone else.

 

However, I'd imagine where it concerns the welfare of your sisters, you'll find it difficult not to intervene.

 

All you can do is the best that you can until you can pass the baton to the next person. And find an outlet for your frustration, either here, a journal or a close friend/family member.

[TaraMaiden]

I don't know how deeply you want to get into this but you have certain 'strong-arm' options;

 

One, is to call child protective services, the other would be to talk to the legal people handling your parents' divorces.

 

either way, you should express your concerns unemotionally, practically but with concern and the emphasis that your objective is to ensure the best possible treatment and outcome for your sisters.

 

you are not responsible for their care, you are not their guardian ,and you have no direct legal obligation to take custody or responsibility of the situation they are unwittingly embroiled in.

however, seeing their distress and having to fend off problems and act as a buffer to them, you have an obligation - a duty of care - and a responsibility to do whatever you can to rectify the matter as it stands.

 

While your parents are clearly self-centred and blinkered to what is going on around them, and the effect their behaviour is having on their two young daughters - you are not.

And I think you are beholden to them to try to effect a solution to their unhappiness - even if it does mean your mum and dad having to suddenly have their backs shoved against the wall over this, and held to task over their negligence.

 

care for your sisters.

 

constructively.

[turnera]

Are there other family members you can talk to to ask for help intervening?