Is he commitment minded?

[Chris67]

I am 36 years old, never married and my biological clock is ticking so loud its keeping me awake at night! Please give me some advice.

 

My boyfriend is also 36 years old and never married and we are both educated and have successful careers. Its been a great relationship so far- 1 year 5 months-and for the last few months he has started dropping hints about a "ring" and "proposal" etc. He calls several times a day and we see each other usually 3 or 4 times a week. We are both very traditional and do not want to live together until marriage. Our relationship started out slowly, developed into a friendship and then into lovers. We have never had a huge fight (no screaming or saying horrible things). I trust him and I believe he is the right man for me. He seems commitment minded and seems committed to me. I am prefacing my question with all this information because I want you to know its not a dysfunctional relationship and I don't think that either one of us has any serious "issues" to deal with (i.s. drug addiction, abuse, etc.)

 

So, my questions are:

 

Why am I so anxious for him to propose? And will he ever propose?

 

I have started having panic attacks! I woke up at midnight on Friday in a cold sweat, shaking and thinking "he is cheating on me!" Then, at about 2:00 a.m. he calls me from the hospital (where he works as a trauma surgeon) and said "I'm sorry to call so late but I wanted to tell you that I miss you"

 

Why am I so afraid he is not going to propose? Well, I guess I am afraid of incesting too much time in a relationship and then being dumped.......

 

Which happened to me 3 years ago.

 

I was engaged to a different man back then and he just disappered. Honestly.

He left town and I have never spoken to him since he dumped me.

 

Do you think the ghost of my previous relationship is haunting me?

Do you think I have a huge fear of abandonment?

 

Do you think I am too anxious for a commitment from my current boyfriend?

Do I need to "cool the jets" and just let things happen?

 

Thanks for listening-

 

Chris

[Fayebelle]

[color=red][/color]PRESSURE!!!!

 

[color=black][/color] Girl you're gonna give yourself a heart attack if you keep going like this. Talk to the man. Do the where do you see yourself in 5 yrs question. If he doesn't mention your role- ask him does he still see you in the pic and if so where. After a year and a half you have every right to have this conversation. GOOD LUCK!

[NatoPMT]

He sounds delightful, and it sounds as though the ticking is drowing out the sound of your common sense

 

How do you react when he drops proposal hints? do you react to them? have you discussed getting married?

[Chris67]

He dropped a "ring" hint last night and instead of just letting the hint slide I asked "what is that? what are you doing?" and it led into a serious conversation..........

 

I told him that all this hinting was cool at first and that it made me feel really loved, but that nothing ever happened, there was never any "follow thru" and I asked him "are you toying with me" and he said no absolutely not....

 

he said that he loved me and to "give a guy a chance to get things organized" and not to worry, that everything would go as planned, etc.

 

We had a nice long talk about our expectations of marriage and of each other.

 

Then he asked me "are you still going to Vienna with me?" and I told him of course.

 

He is going for a medical conference and asked me to go along for a vacation, the first week of September.

And Vienna is VERY romantic, so maybe he is planning a proposal when we are there.

 

Anyway, when I called him on all the hints, he didn't turn tail and run, he talked thru things with me and was very supportive. So, I think he is seriously intends to propose to me and actually has an idea of "when" and "how".

 

Thanks for listening. I will let you know what happens.

 

Chris