Girlfriend would be happy to swing or have man film us !!!

[steve200]

Been seeing a girl for 2 years and am crazy about her. The problem is over the time ive known her shes shown alot of positive comments towards things like, watching other have sex, or that swinging would be ok, you'd be ok after 10 minutes she once said. She makes MMMMmmm noises at any talk of orgies. A few weeks back after sex i mentioned i should film us having sex and she said we should get someone else too....

 

Im being driven crazy by this, im thinking it shows a removed attitude to sex, i feel vulnerable because if she has this attitude what does it mean. I figured if you love someone the last thing you would want is to think about the above with your partner in mind.

 

When ive got upset she says she only jokes but with it being so consistant i find it hard to believe, my problems not that i think shell cheat but what it says about her as a person if these are things she would be happy to do..

 

Am i being too sensitive...

[nofool4u]

If you aren't the kind of person that would ever share a significant other with someone else, then this isn't the girl for you.

 

She is a cheater waiting to happen. Scratch that, she is already cheating IMO.

 

And she isn't joking. She is lying about that. She is only saying that because you don't like it.

[Reddice]

I don't think she cheats or has intentions to cheat on you. I do think she will break off the relationship with you sooner or later, because you do not meet her needs. When and how is difficult to say. I suggest you start thinking about what you truly want out of your relationship. If you're really and completely against swinging, then you should break up. If you think you can live with some aspects, then you will need a really good conversation with her and set up boundries. Perhaps you can start with a threesome with a second girl...? If you both like it, you can work from there.

[PegNosePete]

It's possible but not certain that she's cheating. Sometimes a cheater will seek "permission" to cheat retroactively by making it an open relationship or having a threesome or doing the things she is suggesting. Sometimes, but not always. It could be that she is not cheating (yet), but wants to bang other men.

 

And I agree, she is NOT joking. She is totally serious and is just saying it's a joke because she doesn't want to upset you.

 

These feelings and desires she has will not go away if you bury your head. If she is having these feelings then you're already halfway out the door dude. I think it's time for a serious discussion about the future of your relationship, your expectations of fidelity, and boundaries. If her outlook does not match yours then it's time to say goodbye.

[Reddice]

It should be noted that some people DO get a kick out of swinging, but want to stay with only 1 partner. There are many people out there. It's not just porn stars, but regular people too. Fetishes come in all shapes and sizes, and this is one of them. She's honest about it and she seems to want to only try it out if she has your conscent. Do keep in mind though: In the end, her urges will get the better of her.

[steve200]

thanks people.. sad thing is i know she loves me but i cant afford to be with someone with these inclinations... i dont think shes a cheater but the feelings it gives me knowing she would if i set something up is too upsetting to think about...thanks for replies

[Chi townD]

Well, there's nothing wrong with fantasies as long as they remain fantasies. Once those types of fantasies that involve multipule people become reality, that's where BIG problems stem from.

 

You need to have a serious talk with her and I MEAN serious!!! Find out where her head is at and decide if you want to continue in the relationship.

[g450]

My GF admitted to doing crap like that before I met her so I kind of had the same dillema as you. Kept thinking to myself "do I really want to be with somebody that had a threesome and crap like that?".

 

On the other hand she has proven that she could be faithful because she was just that with her first husband for over ten years until he started cheating on her. She went through this "slut" phase that she calls it right before she met me. But I decided to take a chance on her and I think it will be ok. Only time will tell.

 

In your case its also a toss up I think. But you are a lot younger than me Im sure. I would just sit down and have a frank discussion with her about the fact that this stuff bothers you. Tell her that you are more conservative and that you see yourself and her as not being on the same page. Let her know that you fear that this will eventually cause problems with your relationship and that you may be sexually or morally incompatible. Just be very careful how you word it. She may take it the wrong way.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide. But seeing that you are still young, I would just bail if I were in your shoes. Life is too short and there are other women out there that still have morals and value intimacy.

[mesmerized]

People in this forum make me laugh. This is a fantasy for her..I have it too so do a lot of men and women I know. Don't be insecure...Her talking about it by no means means that she actually wants to do it. But if you're insecure and close minded, better leave her so she can find a fun secure guy who she can share her fantasies with. There is no shortage of these men.

[kt66]

People in this forum make me laugh. This is a fantasy for her..I have it too so do a lot of men and women I know. Don't be insecure...Her talking about it by no means means that she actually wants to do it. But if you're insecure and close minded, better leave her so she can find a fun secure guy who she can share her fantasies with. There is no shortage of these men.

 

worst answer of the day award

[Dusk1983]

better leave her so she can find a fun secure guy who she can share her fantasies with. There is no shortage of these men.

 

By 'these men' you mean of course 'creepy sleazeballs'. Plenty of those out there, trust me. You reap what you sow.

[darkmoon]

from what i've seen about some male exes putting sexy or porny images/videos on-line for all to see because they are angry at being dumped, i don't see how this lass has thought it through, unless she's after a promotional video to get work as a blue movie worker,

 

or does OP want to be in a home-made porm film, there is a market for this home-made porn

[Lecturer]

The judgement is strong with this thread.

 

There is no indication that the gf is inclined to cheat. She just wants to broaden the scope of their sexual relationship. OP, you are well within your right to conclude that you 2 are not sexually compatible and ending the relationship... but there's no point in anyone putting personal judgement on her. Any time people think or feel differently, they could BOTH judge each other in some negative light. Just_A_Poster said she's a sexual deviant? I could say he or she is an insecure, up-tight sexual prude that lacks any sense of adventure or imagination. But I wouldn't do that, because I don't like to judge people!

 

In my observation, people generally get an interest in these things (involving others in their sex life) for one of two possible reasons:

 

1. They are feeling 100% secure in the relationship and want to explore new things with their partner.

2. They aren't sexually satisfied in their relationship and want to experience other people (for their own interests).

 

I can tell you, if I am feeling comfortable & secure that my partner loves me and is devoted to me, I could do these types of things. If, however, I am not totally secure and am even the least bit concerned she wants to do it because she wants someone else more than me or she is just wanting to do this for herself (not for us as a couple), then I would be pretty upset about it.

Edited May 10, 2012 by Lecturer

[dasein]

Agree with others who see no cheating inclination. Unfortunately, you two may be incomaptible, but that can't be determined based on facts in the OP alone. You need to express your concerns and if she replies with "I'm just fantasizing," cool, but if she presses on why you wouldn't be into these things as well, you may have incompatible attitudes.