SPhoenix Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 My boyfriend's roomate, whom I've only met twice, sent me a fb message today telling me that my boyfriend of 2 months has not only been texting several other women, but he left last night to meet a woman. I have no reason to believe the roomate would lie to me about this as in reality it only serves to hurt him by causing my bf to leave him with all the bills. So when I told my bf I heard crappy news this morning but wasn't ready to discuss it, he automatically said "wth did u hear something from my roomate"? I told him i don't know what he means in order to find the truth but I can't help but believe he feels guilty and knows he got caught all by his conclusion my bad news involved his roomate. Should I confront him, spy on him or just flat dump him? Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Considering you are only 2 months with him, spying is out of the question. Either you believe his roommate, in which case you should dump him, or you don't believe his roommate, which than you should confront him, nicely. This is such a young RS, that there isn't much to discuss about. That is why you DATE - to see if you guys mesh, if you don't, you walk away, simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Don't just take the roomate's word OP. Give your BF the benefit of the doubt but do not sweep this under the rug. When you discuss this with him tell him exactly what you heard, but to preserve your integrity you will not disclose the source. I'm not sure why his roomate would go out of his way to tell you this.. it's not like you and him are friends. It's weird that he would try to sabotage his rommate's relationship. Maybe he has a thing for the woman your BF allegedly met last night? The fact that your BF suspects his roomate was talking sh*t is strange also. I wouldn't take it as a definite sign of guilt though. Either way, talk to your BF. Communication is a very important foundation for a healthy relationship and so is trust. Here is your chance to see what your BF is made of. His reaction to your CALM questioning of this rumor will tell you everything you need to know. Establish boundaries now. Tell him you are not ok with him dating or contacting other women (if you are not) and set healthy expectations for each other. Good luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 hmm i dont know why the roomate would rat him out.. could it be he likes you? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Your boyfriend could very well be a jerk, like your room made has tried to inform you about..... Or, he could have issues, and have made the whole thing up. Who knows. Especially without knowing your the people involved. All sorts of scenarios could be the truth: he could have it in for yor b.f/have had a argument/ like u but I doubt it seeing as you barly know him..... Without knowing the people involved, or how genuine they are, the best advice from people on here would be to; genuinely confront your b/f, tell him his roomy uspet you with the revelations, and hear him out. Asses how genuine your bf sounds. If in doubt. if your intuition and gut are dictating that you should RUN - do so. It is only 2 months, better to get out now than later down the track, when your in love and he does it again. Don't write your b/f off yet. At least confont him and make sure he knwos your upset by the news. It will be telling, to see how he cares ( or not) about your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) It is a distinct possibility the roommate asked your bf (ex?) to come clean to you. He did not, and hence he contacted you. Just because some people think it perfectly okay to behave like idiots does not necessarily mean that all others are okay with that. Talk. You don't know what is going on between your bf and his roommate. There might be ulterior motives in play. Edited May 11, 2012 by d'Arthez Link to post Share on other sites
Author SPhoenix Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Spoke to them both at the same time. BF swears he did not, roommate refuses to discuss it. So I believed my BF in the end. Guess we will see how it works out! Thank you all for your input! Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 the room mate fancies u and wanted u to dump ur boyf so he could get u? i see a motive Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Spoke to them both at the same time. BF swears he did not, roommate refuses to discuss it. So I believed my BF in the end. Guess we will see how it works out! Thank you all for your input! Mind you, the roommate might have become aware of the consequences of spilling the beans, which could be negative for him as well. There might have been an ulterior motive. Enjoy the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
TripLine Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Spoke to them both at the same time. BF swears he did not, roommate refuses to discuss it. So I believed my BF in the end. Guess we will see how it works out! Thank you all for your input! No roommate will talk shlt in front of their own roommate. Not a good place to live in after that confrontation. If I was the roommate, since I didn't know you, I would not care about his relationship. I would not mess up my roommate relationship either by snitching. I think in American society, snitching on your male roommate is looked down upon. What was his reason for telling you this I wonder? You struck Gold by having the roommate tell you things, whether true or false. Link to post Share on other sites
Wanderer25 Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 I wouldn't trust the bf either. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 My boyfriend's roomate, whom I've only met twice, sent me a fb message today telling me that my boyfriend of 2 months has not only been texting several other women, but he left last night to meet a woman. I have no reason to believe the roomate would lie to me about this as in reality it only serves to hurt him by causing my bf to leave him with all the bills. So when I told my bf I heard crappy news this morning but wasn't ready to discuss it, he automatically said "wth did u hear something from my roomate"? I told him i don't know what he means in order to find the truth but I can't help but believe he feels guilty and knows he got caught all by his conclusion my bad news involved his roomate. Should I confront him, spy on him or just flat dump him? Why bother yourself with all of this drama ? You have a bf of 2months who reacted in a way that somehow gives truth to what his spying roommate told you. And believe me [a guy], that roommate of his wants you. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I never realised it could be so easy to get away with cheating after being caught. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 room mates like that deserve to die ...... Some men are excuses for human beings. Why? Let's assume what he was saying is true, does he deserve to die? I think if I was in the same circumstances, I would tell, too. I would probably send an anonymous letter to plant the seeds of doubt which hopefully lead to the culprit getting caught. I don't like seeing someone humiliated like that and it is their business and they have a right to know, so why not? Link to post Share on other sites
CarboniteCammy Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm going to go ahead and assume that you all are in college, because you seem like you're of that age group. My honest suggestion is for you to take this situation more seriously then what you are, especially if you are interested in having a long-term, monogamous relationship with someone. This time, your boyfriend narrowly escaped getting caught cheating. I don't doubt that he probably did something wrong, and probably the roommate was idealistic enough to want to put a stop to it, and got caught in the middle. I personally have gotten to the point where if I have these kinds of doubts early on in a relationship, I move on before I learn the hard way that someone isn't on the same page I am. So, that's my advice to you: Move on. Just chalk this up to a college fling and find someone that's more your speed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Creativeguy504 Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 room mates like that deserve to die ...... Some men are excuses for human beings. Why? If it IS true, why does that make him a bad person? Link to post Share on other sites
flightysue Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 My boyfriend's roomate, whom I've only met twice, sent me a fb message today telling me that my boyfriend of 2 months has not only been texting several other women, but he left last night to meet a woman. I have no reason to believe the roomate would lie to me about this as in reality it only serves to hurt him by causing my bf to leave him with all the bills. So when I told my bf I heard crappy news this morning but wasn't ready to discuss it, he automatically said "wth did u hear something from my roomate"? I told him i don't know what he means in order to find the truth but I can't help but believe he feels guilty and knows he got caught all by his conclusion my bad news involved his roomate. Should I confront him, spy on him or just flat dump him? dump him ........ Link to post Share on other sites
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