Author kablam Posted July 8, 2004 Author Share Posted July 8, 2004 nope. moms worse than dad and dads pretty set in his ways about this. even my grandma, whos usually on my side when it comes to my parents, isnt there for me for this one. she did stick by me last summer when my parents wanted to pull me out of college because of my having a serious boyfriend freshman year. they said theyd rather me have played the field. is that weird to anyone else? anyway background on mom- psycho religious catholic mother, virgin til married, dated maybe 2 times before meeting my dad after college when she was living at home (much different than having a bf on your own), has crooked ideas on a lot of things and will never change her mind about them. my grandparents said when she was younger they wish they sent her to therapy, because by the way her moods and thinking are now, she needed it. so one thing i need help with right now- my boyfriends coming to town this weekend, and wants to stay here, but said hed get a hotel if he needed to. not that id stay there with him, id prolly stay home. how should i bring it up to my parents, knowing theyre going to have a problem with him staying at my house? i dont want to get in a fight. should i just keep it from them alltogether? ive done it before, as much as it hurts- it avoids all the problems. what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Try to avoid bringing this issue up for discussion with your parents right now. If they are the way you described them then what is the point of dicussing things with them. Wait untill you are on your own and then you will be powerful and independent enough to talk. Just talk to your guy and tell him to take things easy and he should not rush. Rushing will not do any good for both of you. Work it out through him if he is that nice as you told us. Link to post Share on other sites
freebird Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 I just read your post and I still don't know WHY they don't like your BF! Is it simply that he's a mechanic? Are there other traits? I now a few auto mechanics who are HIGHLY INTELLIGENT and MAKE close to 2 million dollars a year! Another one makes more fixing and restoring exotic cars - he went to Italy for schooling. Sooooooooo, if it's a class/money thing - your parents need to think again. Further, fixing cars CANNOT be done my idiots, it can't even be done by those with law degrees, medical degrees or Phds - if you arent mechanically inclined - you will NEVER fix a car engine! My hats off to your BF! Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 try not to alienate your parents too much, you may need them someday - and I don't mean need their money. They will be your children's grandparents. Thank them and tell them that you appreciate the morals and values and guidance they have given you and continue to give you. Let them know that have listened to them and also let them know that they have given you strength to make your own decisions and to handle what life throws at you, but that you love this guy and you are going to pursue a relationship with him. Tell them that you learned that a husband / wife must cleve together (didn't you say you have a religious background too?) but that you don't want to lose their love. Assure them that even though you are all going through so much strife right now, they won't lose your love for them. Maybe they need some reassurances from you too. Perhaps they suffered some losses and hurts in their own past that you know nothing about and that has jaded them. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock If they were my family I'd finish college and move the hell away from them. If I were you I'd finish dinner and get the hell away from them. Why wait? Explore your financial options. 20 is plenty old enough to make your own decisions. I swear I'd feel less constricted wearing a straightjacket then living in that house. Look, there are plenty of things you can do to get away from them, and the only way you are going to improve your situation is by taking a firm stance for your needs. Be aware that, with the attitude your parents have, you are going to have to place yourself in direct opposition to them. You can get federal grants, student loans, live on campus, and get the hell away from them. You seem to be stuck in a position where you lack the money to be independent. Have you considered hiring a financial advisor, or doing research on how to become independent? How long before your boyfriend can't win against parents that won't let you guys see each other anymore? If my parents acted like that, I'd be out of this house right now (I'm just here for the summer, but my parents are great). You should find a friend who will take you in long enough to find a place to live, get a job if you have to, and consider a student loan (a small one) to get yourself started. The difficulty of supporting yourself has to be less than the difficulty of living under others control. You are not twelve. You're twenty. Take control of your life now, or risk losing it forever. Link to post Share on other sites
PatientOne Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 If you look at the original posting dates, you'll see that the original poster has probably already graduated college. It'd be interesting to see what happened there... Link to post Share on other sites
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