belongings in seperation

[scissorhandsjack]

hi adviice needed. i have just walked out of a violent marriage. e have only been married for six months and cant take any more of the abuse my husband gives me. What i need advice on is this......When we moved intogether i had a three bedroom house full of belongings. over the course o a year he started replacing my belongings with new items(there was nothing wrong with the things i had already). Because of the abuse i have had to leave my home(which is privately rented) I have two children from a previous marriage,My husband is telling me thaat i am to have nothing from the house as he has bought everything in it..replaced my belongings more like.....i need to know that when i have rehoused myself will i get into trouble if i return to the property and take things for my home...washing machine, furniture fridge etc, tv that he purchased(he threw mine out)

[CarrieT]

I am terribly sorry for how bad things are for you. But, honestly, the best thing you can do is walk away and get new things.

 

My own divorce was very ugly and cost me a lot of "stuff" but now - over 20 years later - I see it was just stuff.

 

Protect yourself and your two children and don't worry about the things.

[TaraMaiden]

Legally speaking, he's lying. Property in the marital home is equally divisible, and no matter how it came into the house, it's a 50-50 split.

so he's just bullying you.

 

But push comes to shove, your primary and most important priority is your well-being and safety, and that of your kids.

 

"stuff" is stuff.

I'm just watching a programme now on tornado chasers, and some people they interview have nothing but the concrete slab foundation of where their home used to be.... and nothing else. No walls, roof, windows - nothing.

Let alone belongings.

and they really do have to start again, completely from scratch.

 

You can too.

Better really, in the long run to have what's yours as completely yours, rather than as a reminder of that swine, that you had to fight him tooth and nail for.

 

If having stuff makes him 'happy' well, shoot, let him have it.

 

If that is what he qualifies as more important to him - well, says it all, really, doesn't it?

[scissorhandsjack]

Ladies thankyou so much for you replies. You are both right its only stuff that can be replaced, I can't and neither can my children. I am just so devastated that I allowed him to treat me this way,then I get a call out of the blue from social services stating that my little girl had confided in her teacher saying that he had also hit her, i think i cried more that day than ever before.i have now been away from my home for a couple of months but still feeling so awful and scared and constantly looking over my shoulder to see if he is there. I am hoping to be rehoused very soon and my kids dont even have a bed, my family have been great and donated a few items, but i feel so gutted because my children and I have lost everything including a fantastic job to be with what i can only describe as a monster.

 

I have managed to get into the house while "the monster" was in work to get some of my personal belongings and it hurts to think what I have given up and what i now have. But you two ladies have given me a bit of hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I can move on and rebuild a home for my children and I.

 

thankyou so much

[PegNosePete]

I suspect the rules may be different across the pond. My area is the UK so I can only advise what I know of UK law.

 

Yes TM is right that the belongings are jointly owned since you are married. However in this kind of situation, possession is 9/10ths of the law. Technically you could take it to court and get 50% of the value of the stuff. BUT, and it is a big BUT, the value of these items will only be taken as 2nd hand value. Household goods depreciate rapidly, so the costs of taking court action to recover the value, will not be worthwhile. You might be awarded say £1000, but it might cost you £2000 in legal fees.

 

That also applies the other way, as well. If you were to take the items from the house (presumably while he is at work or out) then he would be in the same position that you are now. Legally he could get 50% of the items value through court, but the fees of doing so would make it uneconomical.

 

If you did take the stuff back you don't know what his reaction might be. Is it worth risking your safety/life to get the stuff back from the house? Only you can answer that question.