concerns for a friend - alcohol

[HappyPanda]

Recently, Ive become a little worried about a friend/roommate of mine and her drinking... Im not sure if Im just being an alarmist (as I have multiple family members who have suffered from drug/alcohol addictions) or if there is cause for my concern.

 

She typically drinks 2 or 3 glasses of wine, or rarely beer, about 3 nights during the week, not necessarily getting drunk, but seemingly catching a buzz. On the weekends, she typically has much more to drink than that, at least one night, or most often both friday and saturday nights, she gets drunk. She doesnt do any other drugs.

 

She still gets up for work everyday, and has been excelling at her workplace, and as far as I know her consumption hasnt hindered her in any way, but Im just worried that she may be an alcoholic, or well on her way

 

What do you guys think? Is it appropriate to say something to her??

[january2011]

If she's still a highly functioning adult, I'm not sure how you can draw her attention to her drinking habits without it looking like you're being overly sensitive due to your own experiences.

 

Having said that, since you're very concerned, just say something. Mention that you're concerned, as a friend, that she's drinking a lot. See what she has to say about it. If she tells you to back off, you might just have to do that. Until her health is failing and she's performing poorly at work, she may not necessarily feel that she has a problem. And even then, if she's really addicted, it may require a much bigger intervention than a 'quiet word' between friends.

[wow04]

She hasn't had any consequences due to her drinking. She isn't going to see she any kind of problem. I had to have consequences before I seen that I had an issue and needed help.

 

You have the right to say how you feel. I would suggest just saying it one time without expecting her to change.

[HappyPanda]

Thanks so much everyone, for taking the time to reply... I really appreciate it!

 

I've had a change of heart, and Ive decided you are all right, Im afraid that Im just being overly cautious... as a result of my own familial history.

 

She doesnt have a "problem" per say, as her drinking has never been problematic for her.

 

She's responsible at work, and in life, she never drives when she has too much to drink, and she's not drinking every single night (but, she is drinking at least a little bit, on most nights) If it gets to becoming intrusive however, I would have no qualms about voicing my concerns, as I love her very much...

 

Being a control freak is an alarmingly common symptom of being an adult child of an alcoholic... I sometimes have to check myself, and remind myself that I cant fix everyone's problems for them.

 

She works hard, and even recently quit smoking, so at this point... Hell, if this is her only vice, who am I to criticize something that brings her joy?

Edited May 12, 2012 by HappyPanda

[carhill]

The behavior described in the OP isn't atypical of a number of my male friends; however, the part which denotes the demarcation for myself from responsible and social drinker to alcoholic is the ability to build and maintain healthy relationships, as well as to have a consistent and stable expression of one's personality, regardless of alcohol consumption.

 

I've known and loved a few alcoholics (men and women both) and, ultimately, for them, their disease was their job #1. Everything else was adjunct to it. For some, the alcohol was the end; the goal. For others, observing over a long period of time, it appeared to be self-medication for deeper personal issues or potential disorders.

 

Reading the OP, I don't feel the situation rises to that level. Not having alcohol in my life in any way during socialization, I don't feel the triggers like someone who has. Respecting that difference is healthy. It appears the OP is working through that. Kudos for that. I hope your friendship/roommate situation continues in a healthy way.