having a terrible run of bad luck with men in the last year and a half

[hotchilenadd67]

I've had nothing but traumatic experiences with men lately. Prior to this, my relationships lasted from 2 yrs to 17 yrs. In the past year, the longest relationship has been 8 weeks and as short as a few days. Not only have I been dumped every time, but I have been used, played, burned (for $), victim of rebound, cut off completely, and repeatedly dumped for other girls. Dumped for the ex, new girls (one I introduced him to), much much older, and forgive me for saying this, but extremely hideous, one way out of shape, but all of them were ugly inside as well. In the past I was treacherous in relationships. But they always stayed or came back. Actually many became obsessive. Now I'm so much more mature, calm, and compromising. And yet I'm dumped quickly, without reason, and many times completely cut off. I'm losing all hope of finding lasting happiness and any will to even go on. Self esteem is shattered.

[january2011]

I'd suggest taking a time out from relationships and working on yourself before jumping into another relationship. There's a good chance that if you enter a relationship when you're still hurting, you're not giving it the best chance of succeeding. I also suspect that you need to re-examine your attitude to relationships and other people, some of your comments about ugliness aren't very charitable, in my opinion.

[goldengirl11]

I've had nothing but traumatic experiences with men lately. Prior to this, my relationships lasted from 2 yrs to 17 yrs. In the past year, the longest relationship has been 8 weeks and as short as a few days. Not only have I been dumped every time, but I have been used, played, burned (for $), victim of rebound, cut off completely, and repeatedly dumped for other girls. Dumped for the ex, new girls (one I introduced him to), much much older, and forgive me for saying this, but extremely hideous, one way out of shape, but all of them were ugly inside as well. In the past I was treacherous in relationships. But they always stayed or came back. Actually many became obsessive. Now I'm so much more mature, calm, and compromising. And yet I'm dumped quickly, without reason, and many times completely cut off. I'm losing all hope of finding lasting happiness and any will to even go on. Self esteem is shattered.

 

Although this isn't to offer advice (sorry) I have to say that I can relate in some ways to how you are feeling. In fact have still yet to have a healthy long term relationship and am in my early thirties.

[Edition]

While I cannot relate personally to your situation, I can tell you that you need a time-out in your dating life. What I'm going to say might sound harsh, but I'm just trying to be real with you here, because I know you're looking for answers.

 

The first thing you need to be able to establish is that you do not need men to be happy in your life. This does not mean you must accept the fact that you will never have a man, but your happiness cannot be dependent on your relationship status. You need to take a look at your recent history of dating and think about the type of people they are. Is the way you act around men and the signals you give them prone to always attract these specific type of men? There is a reason why you get stuck with cheating douche bags all the time; it's because your standards are not high enough! The person you are needs to be able to attract the man you dream of.

 

If that ideal man were to look at you and judge, do you think he would consider you someone of similar stature? If you have bad habits or unrealistic expectations, you gotta drop them. I'm not saying you have to be perfect, but if you want to attract a man who doesn't do drugs or smokes but yet you do those things, you must clean yourself of those attachments.

 

The #1 thing you can do right now is reassess yourself and develop yourself past the point of attracting these type of men in your life. Be able to go into your next relationship fresh and with a brand new perspective. If you keep trying to rebound yourself on guy after guy, it will just spiral down farther.