Author SomedayDig Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 nemo...that just made my morning! {{hugs}} 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillwater Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 In view of this, it's easier 2 understand the oft-heard statement from a wayward: "I love you but I'm not in love with you." They're ac2ally telling a truth that's deeper than they realize (or even are, in that state of mind). They're describing the deeper "love as a choice" they might still hold for their spouse, because of their his2ry 2gether, or their family, or the "needs" their spouse can meet but the AP can't. They could just as truthfully say 2 the AP: "I'm in love with you but I don't love you." But, though equally accurate, that would kind of spoil the moment, rather than invigorate it. You make it sound like "ILYBINILWY" is a GOOD thing. Considering it's often heard by BS's on a d-day, I'm not so sure I'd agree. But I get what you're saying, and having some foundation of real love is a good thing if the partners choose to reconcile. Unfortunately, I'd say a good percentage of the time that phrase is just a cop-out, and it actually means "I'm fond of you and all the memories we've had, but I don't love you anymore and I'm just going to tell you this because I'm too chickensh*t to actually say the words 'I don't love you'". Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 You make it sound like "ILYBINILWY" is a GOOD thing. Considering it's often heard by BS's on a d-day, I'm not so sure I'd agree. Definitely not my intent. Sorry if you thought that. But I get what you're saying, and having some foundation of real love is a good thing if the partners choose to reconcile. Unfortunately, I'd say a good percentage of the time that phrase is just a cop-out, and it actually means "I'm fond of you and all the memories we've had, but I don't love you anymore and I'm just going to tell you this because I'm too chickensh*t to actually say the words 'I don't love you'". Agreed. When a wayward says that 2 their BS, they don't mean it like I interpret it (if they unders2d it, they'd say the opposite 2 their affair partner). They're 2 shallow 2 understand what they're saying. They believe that love is a feeling, and that following their hearts is the highest sense of love there is. Romance is what allows most people in committed relationships 2 have affairs. There's no difference between romantic love between spouses and that between affairees - either way it's nothing more lofty than a chemical high. But at least when its between spouses it's not unethical, whereas between affairees it is. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
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