My girlfriend left me and has gone off with another man.

[cantbeliveit]

Hi there, I'm new to this site and forums altogether so im sorry if im doing anything wrong :-/

 

I'm just really distraught and need to write this all out to try get over my girlfriend.

Ill start by saying I'm 22 and she's 19. We've been going out for about 1 Year and 3 months. We were so in love and I cared so much about her, she was, and I often called her, my little princess (soppy, I know). All i ever did was to try make her as happy as I could. We had a very loving relationship and she always told me that she would never leave me and shes never felt like this about anyone. She loved me so much and we did everything together.

 

For the past few months things have been kinda going downhill, we didnt have sex as much we used to, this was kinda my fault as one time we had a big pregnancy scare, it turned out to be nothing but ever since then its always been on my mind, ive always been paranoid about it, and it made our sex life suffer, but i was getting over it and it was getting better. I used to always, always tell her how beautiful she was and how much i loved her because 1) i really loved her and she still is the most beautiful girl in the world to me and 2) she was a very insecure person. So i always made sure that she knew she was loved and id always be there for her

 

In September last year she moved to uni quite far away. She immediately hated it and missed me so much and i used to sit on webcam with her every night for hours to show her i was always there for her. I also used to visit her all of the time to make her happy and be all loving together. I didnt do this just for her, it used to make me happy talking to her and making her happy.

 

Anyway in December she managed to get a transfer to a uni very close to home and she moved back to her mum's so we saw each other a lot again. we also had a really nice loving 1 year anniversary. she looked amazing across the table at the restaurant we went to.

 

In about January she asked me to go on a very spontaneous trip to paris the next week, i literally couldn't go because i had work commitments. i told her but she took it like i didnt want to go with her but i really did, i told her when i can get some holiday off we'll go together... the next day or so she told me she was going without me and she booked a 3night stay for 1. i was upset but she couldnt understand why because she had it in her head that i didnt want to go, after arguing for a while she understood why i was upset and she was really upset at her self and she begged me to forgive her that shed just booked a holiday for herself. I wasnt mad at her and she was so cute and cuddly that i told her it was ok and i still loveed her...

 

These last couple of months she was always saying i never wanted to do anything with her and all i wanted to do was sit in and watch tv together, and that i never made her feel pretty. The thing is, i ALWAYS told her how much i loved her. We did go for walks alot and we went for meals from time to time. I used to love snuggling on the sofa playing with her hair, i thought she did to. Then completely out of the blue, she broke up with me last Monday, i was so upset, she said that she wanted to be alone and just to give her some space. I wrote her a really long love letter to tell her how much i loved her and i wrote her a poem at the end of it. She cried but she didnt change her mind...

 

The next day she text me to tell me she was really sorry and she wanted a cuddle and that she'd written me a poem back. I went round and i read the poem that made me well up, but she still didnt want me back, i thought the texts and the poem was a way of telling me she wants me back, but no. She told me she was going away for 4 nights with her uni friends to the seaside to celebrate end of uni year. I begged her not to go with another guy and she said she wouldnt. its now the 3rd night of her 4 night stay at the 'seaside' and i found out from her friend that shes actually in Paris with a guy she has recently met. Im in pieces, i cant stop thinking about her with this guy and its making me feel sick. She told me shed never leave me how could she do this? I shouldnt of done what i did next but i went into her facebook to try and find this guy to see what theyd been saying to each other, i didnt find the guy but i found a conversation between her and the friend that told me... my girlfriend (well i guess ex girlfriend) in this conversation said that im boring, and that shes found someone else and she really 'wants to **** him'. im just so gutted, i feel like my hearts been ripped out. Im not proud of going on her facebook, i was never going to do anything malicious, i was just very distraught and i need answers, i couldnt ring her cos her phone is off. I dont know what to do.

[wilsonx]

ouch, thats terrible!

 

If I was in your shoes, Id go out and have fun of my own, you are 22, lots of girls out there want and would appreciate a guy like you

[olivec]

I know what your going through. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do right now. She is going through gigs right now and is very common for young people to do. Take this time now to focus on yourself and forget about her man. If you continue to try to contact her or look on her facebook page its gunna get even worse for you. What you need to do right now is delete her number, block her from facebook and pack up anything that belongs to her and throw it in the garbage. You need a clean break from all of this. Once you do all of that you'll begin to heal and feel stronger again. Also start hanging out with friends, spend time with family and do activities you enjoy. Basically start repairing your life.

[Chi townD]

Oh, this thread just set me off! Write this B*TCH OFF!! She told you that she was going to the seaside to celebrate with friends. The last time I was in Paris, there wasn't a "sea" to be saw. She said she was going alone if she was going to Paris. Now she's there screwing some other guy. Un-frickin-believable.

 

I'm pretty sure that she thinks you're clueless and sooner or later she's gonna reach out to you to say "Hi!". I would respond back, "Sorry, you talking to me? I wouldn't want to bore you. Did you have fun with OM? Nice friends you got there to rub that fact in my face! (This is to drive her nuts thinking of who ratted her out and protect how you found out) You're a lying wh0re and never contact me again." Then begin NC. Go COMPLETELY DARK ON THIS SL*T!!! DO NOT RESPOND TOO ANY TEXTS, ANY VOICEMAILS OR ANY E-MAILS!! Post here instead, let her know that she guilty and don't entertain a single word from her after!!....grrrr....

 

Damn, I'm pissed now.

 

Oh, an don't feel bad about going into her FB, your gut told you something wasn't right and you found out the REAL truth. Now, block her from your Facebook and cut any ties of communication with her BEFORE she gets back.....promising you she wouldn't be going with another guy...HELL, she didn't even go with her friends! Just the guy she PROMISED you she wouldn't do...uh huh....lying b*tch.....

 

OH, I'm spun up!

Edited May 10, 2012 by Chi townD

[Chi townD]

AND ANOTHER THING!!!!! I don't think that she'll contact you again because the friend that tipped you off will probably confess that he/she told you where she ACTUALLY was and with who....

 

She'll be too much of a chicken sh*t coward to face the music.

[polish26]

AND ANOTHER THING!!!!! I don't think that she'll contact you again because the friend that tipped you off will probably confess that he/she told you where she ACTUALLY was and with who....

 

She'll be too much of a chicken sh*t coward to face the music.

 

This is most definitely true, a friend of mine/my ex did the same thing and when I found out and eventually she found out... since then I have seen my ex once and she has still not had the courage to admit to anything.

[Chi townD]

I am really curious to see how this plays out.

[cantbeliveit]

Tomorrow night is the night she gets back from the 'seaside'. im going to ring her to confront her, ask her to tell me how long its been going on then thats it... deleting absolutely every picture i have of her, getting rid of all her letters ect...

 

The mad thing is, i still love her so much and I would take her back right now after everything if she was truly sorry and realised she made a mistake. I know your guys would think im effing crazy, but i love her so much.

[Chi townD]

Yeah, but you have to remember. She did you wrong 10 different ways. If you talk to you I would just lay out the facts as you know them and not even entertain anything from her. Do not beg and plead with her. NOTHING. Just tell her that you know and you thought she was better than that and that's it. DONE!!!

[geegirl]

I'm feeling Chi. There are no seas to be seen in Paris. Even if she said it was a mistake, I hardly believe she'll do a 180 and be the faithful girlfriend. Being in love with her shouldn't blind you from such blatant disregard for you and your feelings. And if you let her back in, you're just giving her a pass to continue bad behavior. You are teaching her that bad behavior is acceptable and will be tolerated. I have a strong feeling you will cave because she's going to turn on the charm. Burns my ass.

[Chi townD]

I agree, cheaters are extremely good liars. She'll tell you he was "just afried and nothing happened." and do it so well she'll make you second guess yourself. OR she'll tell you that your not together anymore so it's none of your business. At that point I would say, " That's okay, I just wanted you to know that you are a lying wh0re. BYE!" Click.

[SuperGeek]

Best piece of advice given in awhile from WilsonX. I'm 10 years older than you and I'm partying my ass off these days. Lots of traveling, women, and working out 5 days a week. I've been to Australia, Japan, Korea, New Zealand, Phillipines and soon will hit up South Africa and more parts of Europe.

 

OP,

 

If you're 22, you probably don't have that much responsibility yet, so you could easily up and move to a new town (say a college town) and be knee deep in college women. Don't waste your youth worrying about this girl man. She's 19 and has no idea what she wants most likely. I'll bet you don't even know what you want either as you likely don't have that much life experience yet.

 

Do yourself a favor and take the time to enjoy life as a single man before you settle down. The hurt will pass.

 

If I was you right now, I would literally turn myself into a man whore. Literally!

 

SuperGeek

 

If I was in your shoes, Id go out and have fun of my own, you are 22, lots of girls out there want and would appreciate a guy like you

[Shaun-Dro]

Hi there, I'm new to this site and forums altogether so im sorry if im doing anything wrong :-/

 

I'm just really distraught and need to write this all out to try get over my girlfriend.

Ill start by saying I'm 22 and she's 19. We've been going out for about 1 Year and 3 months. We were so in love and I cared so much about her, she was, and I often called her, my little princess (soppy, I know). All i ever did was to try make her as happy as I could. We had a very loving relationship and she always told me that she would never leave me and shes never felt like this about anyone. She loved me so much and we did everything together.

 

For the past few months things have been kinda going downhill, we didnt have sex as much we used to, this was kinda my fault as one time we had a big pregnancy scare, it turned out to be nothing but ever since then its always been on my mind, ive always been paranoid about it, and it made our sex life suffer, but i was getting over it and it was getting better. I used to always, always tell her how beautiful she was and how much i loved her because 1) i really loved her and she still is the most beautiful girl in the world to me and 2) she was a very insecure person. So i always made sure that she knew she was loved and id always be there for her

 

In September last year she moved to uni quite far away. She immediately hated it and missed me so much and i used to sit on webcam with her every night for hours to show her i was always there for her. I also used to visit her all of the time to make her happy and be all loving together. I didnt do this just for her, it used to make me happy talking to her and making her happy.

 

Anyway in December she managed to get a transfer to a uni very close to home and she moved back to her mum's so we saw each other a lot again. we also had a really nice loving 1 year anniversary. she looked amazing across the table at the restaurant we went to.

 

In about January she asked me to go on a very spontaneous trip to paris the next week, i literally couldn't go because i had work commitments. i told her but she took it like i didnt want to go with her but i really did, i told her when i can get some holiday off we'll go together... the next day or so she told me she was going without me and she booked a 3night stay for 1. i was upset but she couldnt understand why because she had it in her head that i didnt want to go, after arguing for a while she understood why i was upset and she was really upset at her self and she begged me to forgive her that shed just booked a holiday for herself. I wasnt mad at her and she was so cute and cuddly that i told her it was ok and i still loveed her...

 

These last couple of months she was always saying i never wanted to do anything with her and all i wanted to do was sit in and watch tv together, and that i never made her feel pretty. The thing is, i ALWAYS told her how much i loved her. We did go for walks alot and we went for meals from time to time. I used to love snuggling on the sofa playing with her hair, i thought she did to. Then completely out of the blue, she broke up with me last Monday, i was so upset, she said that she wanted to be alone and just to give her some space. I wrote her a really long love letter to tell her how much i loved her and i wrote her a poem at the end of it. She cried but she didnt change her mind...

 

The next day she text me to tell me she was really sorry and she wanted a cuddle and that she'd written me a poem back. I went round and i read the poem that made me well up, but she still didnt want me back, i thought the texts and the poem was a way of telling me she wants me back, but no. She told me she was going away for 4 nights with her uni friends to the seaside to celebrate end of uni year. I begged her not to go with another guy and she said she wouldnt. its now the 3rd night of her 4 night stay at the 'seaside' and i found out from her friend that shes actually in Paris with a guy she has recently met. Im in pieces, i cant stop thinking about her with this guy and its making me feel sick. She told me shed never leave me how could she do this? I shouldnt of done what i did next but i went into her facebook to try and find this guy to see what theyd been saying to each other, i didnt find the guy but i found a conversation between her and the friend that told me... my girlfriend (well i guess ex girlfriend) in this conversation said that im boring, and that shes found someone else and she really 'wants to **** him'. im just so gutted, i feel like my hearts been ripped out. Im not proud of going on her facebook, i was never going to do anything malicious, i was just very distraught and i need answers, i couldnt ring her cos her phone is off. I dont know what to do.

 

When your relationship is so and I quote "perfect" women tend to get very bored and look for excitement elsewhere, usually something fresh and new to them. What your ex did was despicable but it's no surprise. Next time, don't give a woman so much; always hold back and let her give too.

[Tree_Salmon]

When your relationship is so and I quote "perfect" women tend to get very bored and look for excitement elsewhere, usually something fresh and new to them. What your ex did was despicable but it's no surprise. Next time, don't give a woman so much; always hold back and let her give too.

 

True.

But sometimes you can hold back too much also.

 

Don't forget that you are young. I wish I was 22 right now. Best times of my life so far. The world has an abundance of vagina, go explore it. Safely.

[blotter]

Bro she's 19. Did you think she was going to marry you, settle down, and pop kids out? She's still discovering her sexuality and is going to want to spread it around the town a little before she settles down.

[BewitchedandBothered]

You should hook up with the friend that ratted her out, j/k;) Seriously though, taking walks and cuddling on the couch is nice, but sounds like she was bored to tears.