Missing her after I broke up with her?

[chiplol]

My now ex and I dated for almost 3 years. In the begining it was like any other relationship. I was madly obsessed with her and she was with me. Got to a point several months later were that stage of the relationship was over and I was begining to get comfortable. I still enjoyed being with her, just wasn't as deep as it was. Anyway, fastforward 1 year and I started having doubts. When I was with her I wanted to be single. So I decided to break it off. The thing is, I really started missing her. I immediately wanted to get back with her after a few weeks, and luckily she took me back.

 

As we approached 3 years I started feeling the same again. It just didn't feel like it once used to be (the infatuation stage I guess). I told her It just didn't feel right. She was madly in love with me and was the most caring, loving, and wonderful girl anyone could ask for. I loved her, just wasn't IN LOVE with her and it felt terrible. I really didn't wanna to pass her up because she was one of a kind. Let myself get the best of me and broke it off again. This was 3 weeks ago. Unfortuately I'm starting to miss her again. She has started going clubbing a lot and it makes me jealous now to think of her dancing with OTHER guys.

 

Is this a normal feeling? Am I supposed to miss her even though I was the one that broke it off? When I was with her I wanted to be single, now that I'm not with her, I want her back. What the hell is wrong with me?

[Svet74]

Your one of those mr. Unavailable guys. I met them all the time. And usually run for the hills. My ex was one of them. It's ok you will learn. When u get in another relationship and the new girl will treat you like crap. Then you will want your ex back but it will be too late cuz she will be married to some other guy

[jennisfora]

you need to be satisfied with what you have, instead of wanting more..that infatuation stage always goes away...but true deep love happens when you trust the other person, and think of them and how it would affect them before making an important decision.

 

some people are obsessed with what ifs, and the path not taken. i will tell you this, eventually you have to make peace with where you are at in life, and not wonder what if you were single or what if some other person would be better...just stop, and enjoy and cherish what you have, or you may end up with nothing.

 

if it isnt broken, stop walking away, you walk away when it is broken. if it can be fixed, and you love her, fix it. don't walk because you aren't infatuated anymore, don't walk because you are bored with your life, walk because you are incompatible, arguing, lying, cheating, mutually unhappy...real definable reasons. if you are truly unhappy, you should break up, but the constant second guessing tells me you have no idea what you want. you can't waffle like this with this girl, you are hurting her. if you dont want her 100 percent, i say let her go, and leave her alone.

[chiplol]

Well see the problem is after the first break up, she really started having trust issues. Any girl that would make any contact with me, she took it as them trying to get with me. She would really overreact to everything. I guess I can't blame her because I lost her trust and now she was scared of losing me. She really clinged on to me and we would argue about it every week because if I didn't see her one day, she would be upset.

 

Literally I had to see her every day or at least make an effort for her to be happy.

[jennisfora]

let her heal and move on. sounds like the damage was done, and never repaired. it sounds very stressful. i feel bad for both of you, but, sometimes people don't get over these things. she will eventually, but it will take time. better to move on then wait. by the time she is healed and over it, she might fall for someone else, most likely.

 

im sorry, wish i had better thoughts on the matter. *hugs*