I was the crazy other woman

[demetriasmason]

I had an affair with a married man and I am stupid. I left this guy a note on his car telling him how cute he was and I left my number on there. He called and then what was a turnoff was how he came out me trying to have sex from the minute he saw me. When we met face to face for the first time, he asked me for a kiss. When he told me he was married I should have walked away. Boy, not only did we have sex twice, but I started to harrass him and send crazy texts to his phone because I wanted more, I wanted to be his lover. He boosted my head up with sweet nothings about how hot I was, how good my package was, and how he liked my curves and what not. NOT to mention that I am black and he was is white I didnt want him to leave his wife...heck...I was in a relationship myself. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I fell for the line he told me about how he think we should stop because he doesn't want to catch feelings for me...it boosted my head up thinking he was going to catch/caught feelings for me. Long story short, I kept telling him how he needed to pay me for me having sex with him and he brushed me off! I threatend to tell his wife. I did. I told her all the juicy details of the story. I bet she stayed with him. Then whats even more pathetic, I told him how good he was in bed and how he said he owed me one more and I stated that he knows that I would drop my panties if he asked me to! He didnt even text nothing back. I knew it was time to move on when he told me that he forgives me what i have done and he is not mad and how we dont even need to talk to each other again and how we should move on with our lives. Then my idiot self sends a text telling him that he owes me one more you know what and how I would give it up to him anytime he asked..I mean..putting myself out there to look stupid. I told him that he knows the only reason im asking is because im strongly sexually im attracted to him How Stupid can I be! I also told him how I caught feelings but moreso sexual feelings and how I started to care for him. I feel ashamed, embarrased, stupid, like this guy played me hard. I can't do nothing but learn from it and move on. But I do wonder if in the future, will I get that call from him.

[whichwayisup]

Not sure what you are looking for?

 

When you've had enough, you'll stop and get some help by seeking counseling. You are risking A LOT for some MM and this cat/mouse game you're playing with him. What about your partner? Do you feel bad you're cheating on him and exposing him to possible STD's?

[LoveTKO]

Manipulating him to pay you for having sex with you? Dang girl!....you're as cold as ice..

[findingnemo]

You may get a call from him, yes. But what is it you want exactly? A call from him could mean anything. Do you still want to be the crazy OW?

[Million.to.1]

I am speechless.

 

You should call Sally Jessie Raphelle or Rikki Lake or whoever does midday talk shows these days. They will definitely want you on their show.

[SoMovinOn]

I would think this all could have just as easily turned out the same with a single guy. The issue here, the parts you seem most upset with, really have nothing to do with your choice being a married guy, but rather how *you* handled the relationship.

 

The important thing is you learned something about yourself. I don't see it happen that often from a single experience. Most women are not that aggressive in pursuing sex and a relationship. It's actually rather unusual for you to have gone full guns just once like this. What were you like before in your other relationships?

[Radagast]

But I do wonder if in the future, will I get that call from him.

 

I suspect not. You have already confessed to developing some feelings for him which has probably scared him off even more than your revelations to his wife.

 

From your post it seems what you valued most from your encounters with this man was how he "boosted your head up" rather than anything specifically related to him as a person. If this is the case I am confident you could derive similar benefits from other relationships in your future so I would not mourn the loss of this man for too long.

[UpwardForward]

You can put this behind you by walking away from it (leaving it in your past). Ignoring him, if he calls you. No difference.

[demetriasmason]

In all honesty, I have gone a little haywire. Apparently I have not learned. I convinced myself that we could be lovers. This is my first affair with a married man. I am not putting any more thinking into this situation. We have agreed to not talk to each other ever and that is the best. I have a family and so does he. I don't want to be the cause of his wife leaving him. I am pretty sure that if she did most likely he will not Chet again.

[Got it]

In all honesty, I have gone a little haywire. Apparently I have not learned. I convinced myself that we could be lovers. This is my first affair with a married man. I am not putting any more thinking into this situation. We have agreed to not talk to each other ever and that is the best. I have a family and so does he. I don't want to be the cause of his wife leaving him. I am pretty sure that if she did most likely he will not Chet again.

 

 

DM - I am not sure if this behavior is strictly because of him being married. I agree with what SMO said as well. I think you have to look at why you approached this relationship in the manner that you did and what you are wanting to get out of it. You wonder if he will call you in the future, why do you want to further engage with him? What is still unresolved?

[demetriasmason]

DM - I am not sure if this behavior is strictly because of him being married. I agree with what SMO said as well. I think you have to look at why you approached this relationship in the manner that you did and what you are wanting to get out of it. You wonder if he will call you in the future, why do you want to further engage with him? What is still unresolved?

 

 

I honestly was okay with the idea of me and him being lovers. We were strongly attracted to each other from the start. But, had not reacted the way I did, I do think that my lack of judgement was going to have both of us catching feelings knowingly what we are doing is wrong. I know deep in my heart what I did was wrong and I prayed and asked GOD for forgiveness. In all honesty, I was seeking a sexual relationship with a man. It just so happend to be he was married. My bf is not pleasing me like they way I want to due to lack of experience. So, yes, I did step out on him. I see now that fooling around with a married man is not good at all. I don't care if he calls or not. I dont care if I dont ever see him again. I did yesterday but im moving on with my life and im going to make my relationship stronger with my boyfriend. Never again will I fool with a married man

[demetriasmason]

I would think this all could have just as easily turned out the same with a single guy. The issue here, the parts you seem most upset with, really have nothing to do with your choice being a married guy, but rather how *you* handled the relationship.

 

The important thing is you learned something about yourself. I don't see it happen that often from a single experience. Most women are not that aggressive in pursuing sex and a relationship. It's actually rather unusual for you to have gone full guns just once like this. What were you like before in your other relationships?

 

 

My first love, guy that took my virginity, when I left and went away to college he got back with his ex gf. It broke my heart. I settled for less and ended up having an affair with him just to keep him in my life. I was young and dumb. Long story short, it took me a year or two to get over him. Meaning, somebody better came along. . So, years passed and I see that the way I go about reacting with past relationships, I always found myself jumping to conclusions and doing things out of spite, just as I have done now. I honestly, did not think this would be the case. I guess I did not learn anything from the past. BUt, I am so glad that it did go down like this, because had it not, we know we would continue the affair and be burning in hell. I don't want that for him or me. I told him that I just wanted to be his friend. I wanted a male friend guy he told me that sex was all he could offer me and I understood that because he was married. BUt, i was vulnerable and bored with my relationship as he was with is and we found ourselves enjoying the moments we did share together. Just like he said, it was fun while it lasted and we both dont ever need to talk to each other and just move on with our lives.

[demetriasmason]

Actually, I disagree with the theory that women aren't usually that aggressive with men.

 

I have read about it numerous times on here - how the OW continues to want the affair to continue long after a DDay or a dumping from a MM. Many OW on here have admitted to all kinds of actions to get the MM to continue the affair.

 

It also happens with single relationships where the woman wants the man more than he wants her.

 

You have no idea what transpired when his wife told him about your call. He could have told her you were some girl he tried to be nice to and you took it too far and imagine yourself in love with him. He could have told her you weren't all that and he was just trying to be nice to you. He could have convinced her nothing happened at all, that it was just your imagination. He could have told her you won't leave him alone - he told you he was married and not interested and you kept trying to have sex with him.

 

Are you done with him? If he called you today, would you go to him? Why are you trying to get money out of him? Why do you insist her owes you another sexual encounter? What will that prove? What do you hope will come of that?

 

 

You are right. BUt you forgot one thing, she asked him why there were so many text messages on their phone. She can easily go and get a transcript of the texts and see what was going on. Secondly, a man will tell his wife anything to avoid divorce. I would too. I see now that wanting sex with him again was just all in my head. I think its because I got a taste of cheating for the first time cuz im in a relationship myself. I have been for five years. I wanted some excitement. I guess I was looking for some fun, thrill, the drama . But all kidding aside, I dont want to have another encounter with him....he was just a person who was just a fling. We knew that if we continue that this would leave down to a path of destruction. Me personally, im getting myself together spiritually, so me going to hell for committing adultery is not worth it. HIS DICK IS NOT THAT GOOD!