lil_carlitos Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 Hey i need some advice here, so please help me out. well me and my ex-gf broke up about 5 months ago, but we've been out 2 times since then and all have been weekly stints basically. She told me that she has unresloved feelings for her ex (not me) and like yeah i understand and I havent gotten angry at her for that, but what i dont get is why she does get back together with me knowing that she has these other feelings. We both have feelings for eachohter tho i think mine might be stronger than her's but also she did tell me once that a reason why we might keep breaking it of is because she gets scared that if it doesnt work out that we will lose our friendship/relationship or whatever you wanna call it. I know i love her, and i know she loves me but i dont know what to do. like should i wait till these other feelings have passed by or should talk to her about it, i dont know i feel confused about our relationship over-all really, just dont know what to do, but i love her. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 Does it make you feel badly that you are her second choice? If this doesn't bother you, then continue on. If it does, get out. I don't mean to sound gruff, but those are the choices. Personally, I've been rebound. I know how much it hurts to have to deal with the relationship purgatory. Do you love me? Do you not? It's just a big mess, and it's unhealthy or both parties. She doesn't know what she wants, and when she does decide, are you sure that you will be the one that she picks? I don't know, I hate uncertainty. This is just my opinion, and I hope that things work out for you. Yellow Link to post Share on other sites
almostANangel Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Sounds to me like this girl is using you as a band-aid for the failed relationship with her ex. To me it seems like she tells you that she has feelings for you so that you stay by her side to fill a hole that was left by her ex. For this she doesn't want to "ruin the friendship". You should definately talk to her about your feelings and see what she has to say. Let her know that you deserve to be a first choice, not a quick fix. Link to post Share on other sites
Varacha Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 The only thing that keeps popping into my mind when I read this was the song First cut is the deepest by Cheryl Crowe. To me it seems that she wants you to dry her tears and cover over her wounds, but she'll never give herself fully to you until she's healed. Yellow is right you have to decide if you want to be her second choice. When you decide you really have to tell her it's all or nothing, either she gets over her ex and move on or risk losing you too. I wish you the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lil_carlitos Posted June 26, 2004 Author Share Posted June 26, 2004 what makes it even worse is that this is my first relationship. yeah thanks tho i think i better sort this out my own way, thanks for all your advice i will consider it. cyaz Link to post Share on other sites
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