decided to break up

[headsashed]

I dont think shes done either,shes a twisted girl,with no morals. As for facebook,shes blocked and everything,i changed all my password,you name it ive done it,ive done everything i possibly can apart from my phone number,which will cost me because they changed it for free last time. When ive got some money ill do that. I have blocked her calls but cant block her txts.

 

A freeview box is like a cable box for tv channels,they are only cheap,her mother borrowed me 2 a few weeks ago because she didnt know if they worked,they both did,shes only took 1 and left the remote control,think she can forget about that.

Edited May 21, 2012 by headsashed

[fetish1980]

don't even open up a text message if you see it was her number that sent it, as tempting as it may be. If there's one thing i can't stand, its when two people are trying to be the same gender in the relationship. There can't be 2 men in the relationship and vice versa. This girl is bold and is walking around with cojones the size of bowling balls. Don't feed em. They'll only get bigger!

 

Congrats on what you said to her and keep up that attitude that its her loss.

 

fetish

[MissBrunette84]

omg,she just turned up at my house,i was sat reading this forum having a cuppa and she walked straight in,i only said 1 thing "get the f**k out", she just said ive come for my stuff,so i gave her them and just told her never to come again,she said dont worry i wont be coming again,then slammed my door and left,all she had here was 18 cigerettes in a packet and an old freeview box,that was her that said she doesnt want her stuff. Pathetic to say the least. Atleast now she has no reason to come ever again.

Omg, she just walked straight in? good job at telling her to get out. Who does she think she is! I'd never do that. It also seems petty to come back for old cigarettes and a bloody freeview box lol...

[headsashed]

grr,i actually replied then and my internet went off,typical,i basically put that my front door is yards from where im sat now,its never needed to be locked,she never told me she was coming today,it just happend,i stood strong and im proud,but guess what,soon as i posted that reply she txt me,sayings she knows who told me,im not bothered tbh,lol,i know the truth now and i stood strong,and i will keep doing so.

[headsashed]

Think i need a number change,the txts have carried on,shes sayin that the guy she slept with was better than me and that she wished i got my head kicked in the other week when we was in town ( some guy started with us and i stood up to him) .. talk about nasty lol,ive not replied btw,just no need for it.

[headsashed]

Chi town,shes not wired up pal,ive not replied and now shes threatning to get my head kicked in lmao,i give up,police time or what?

[gibson]

Chi town,shes not wired up pal,ive not replied and now shes threatning to get my head kicked in lmao,i give up,police time or what?

 

THIS IS NOT A GAME!!!! YOUR FUTURE IS AT STAKE!!!!!!

 

We have had other people on here like you. If you keep it up... you are going to end up just like the others have.

 

Latest example...

 

Well all you naysayers can dance with glee now; I got my butt handed to me in court. My RO got thrown out and there is a 4 year injunction against me.

 

And I did...what again? Oh yea, I removed myself from an unhealthy relationship, moved on, ignored her childishness until it got threatening, acted within the law only to watch a woman that I once loved lie under oath and paint such a horrid picture of me that the judge was giving me lectures by the time it was over.

 

Harrasment update: Cops last night, restraining order next?

 

Any job this guy tries to get where they do a background check (which is almost every job) this 4 YEAR INJUNCTION will show up and probably ruin his chances. Imagine having to explain this to a new employer. How would you explain this to a new girl if this happened to you?

 

Do not listen to the people here who are cheering you on! It's time for you to put on your BIG BOY pants, be an ADULT, TALK to your Ex, DEFUSE THE SITUATION and clear up any loose ends.

 

Several us tried to warn the guy above but he listened to the idiots on here that were cheering him on. I STRONGLY encourage you to not follow in his footsteps... you will lose and the legal troubles that follow are NOT WORTH IT!

[Chi townD]

 

Several us tried to warn the guy above but he listened to the idiots on here that were cheering him on. I STRONGLY encourage you to not follow in his footsteps... you will lose and the legal troubles that follow are NOT WORTH IT!

 

 

Uh huh......yeah. It's unfortunate, but I can list dozens of references where guys get shafted in court due to the lies of a girl. But, I don't think you have all night to read them. That's why they are the dominant species. Because they have the law on their side. It's unfortunate but it is what it is.

 

I, for one, will not tell Headshed to bend over and kiss his Ex's ass just to placate her. She did wrong. She knows she did. Now she's on the war path. Why? Who the hell knows? They were out on the town BEFORE she went on Holiday and Headshed got into it with some other dude. Nothing came of it, but she referenced that she wished he got his ass kicked. Oh well!!!

 

I will say this. You need to document anytime she texts you or e-mails you. Save them. Do not delete them.Record any conversations with her and save all the voicemails.

[gibson]

I, for one, will not tell Headshed to bend over and kiss his Ex's ass just to placate her. She did wrong. She knows she did.

 

Easy for you to say because your a55 isn't on the line.

 

SilverBlueAndGold was cheered and celebrated on here by many for showing / proving to his Ex that he was right.

 

What was his reward?

 

Hell and a 4 year injunction.

 

Now she's on the war path.

 

Yes she is!

 

Pouring gasoline on it or ignoring it... Are not going to make it better!

 

As you said...

 

I can list dozens of references where guys get shafted in court due to the lies of a girl. But, I don't think you have all night to read them. That's why they are the dominant species. Because they have the law on their side. It's unfortunate but it is what it is.

 

If Headshed doesn't want to be an ADULT... He should get an ADULT involved. I have had friends go through something similar and all it took was each other parents talking to one another to calm things down since Headshed and his Ex want to act like CHILDREN.

 

I will say this. You need to document anytime she texts you or e-mails you. Save them. Do not delete them. Record any conversations with her and save all the voicemails.

 

SilverBlueAndGold did this and it means JACK in court. His Ex fabricated a story, documents, etc. and he got shafted. Just like Headshed will. He is dealing with a unreasonable, unethical, unhealthy, vengeful Ex who is out for blood.

 

Time for the ADULTS to get involved to DEFUSE THE SITUATION!

[Chi townD]

LOL!!! Wow! Paranoid much?

 

Look, yes, I understand that Headshed needs to protect himself. That's why I suggested that he document everything. Save every e-mail, voicemail and text. The police can pull her records and pull his. They can see who's contacting who and how much. there's an old saying, if it isn't documented, then it never happened.

 

And believe me, my ass has been a victim to the courts and a screwed up situation.

 

He can talk to the cops if it gets out of hand. But it sounds like she attacking his male ego more than his reputation or his freedom. Plus, Headshed is in England, I'm no expert on English law and I'm sure you're not either. So, there's a distinct chance that these two cases wouldn't mirror each other.

 

And what's the deal with the "adult" thingy. Guess what! I am an educated, successful and professional adult. Probably older than you are kiddo!

Edited May 22, 2012 by Chi townD

[gibson]

LOL!!! Wow! Paranoid much?

 

No... I have never ALLOWED a situation to get out of hand like this.

 

Why should HeadShed listen to you?

 

1. You admitted that you have let things go this far with an Ex.

 

2. You admitted you got your a55 handed to you.

 

Look, yes, I understand that Headshed needs to protect himself. That's why I suggested that he document everything. Save every e-mail, voicemail and text. The police can pull her records and pull his. They can see who's contacting who and how much. there's an old saying, if it isn't documented, then it never happened.

 

You also shouldn't be giving legal advice considering...

 

1. By your own admission in your life and of your friends. Assuming the cops are going to believe / side with the man is not likely.

 

2. The cops do not put together a case, they do not pull his / her records, they do not see who is contacting who and how much.

 

3. They will go in front of judge and HeadShed has to present his case along with the evidence that he has. He would have to subpoena her phone records for example if he wanted to submit those. Are you going to file this or hire him an attorney to do it? How does he explain his contacting her, going to see her brother, etc?

 

He can talk to the cops if it gets out of hand.

 

Why not be a MAN and resolve this matter with his Ex instead of provoking her?

 

Example:

 

She broke up with him, he later found out she cheated. Why is he contacting her? Why is he harassing her about her cheating on him on her vacation? Talking with her friends? Going to see her brother and talking about his sister to him?

 

So tell me Perry Mason... What makes his "case" so special that you are sure he will win?

 

5 days ago I warned him wit here this was headed if he continued to provoke, contact, accuse, etc.

 

Do you really need this to get so bad and messy that cops and restraining orders have to come into play to save you from yourself?

 

 

But it sounds like she attacking his male ego more than his reputation or his freedom.

 

Are you familiar with the saying "Hell has no fury like a women scorned"?

 

If I was HeadShed, I wouldn't bet my future on your ASSUMPTION / GUESS.

 

And what's the deal with the "adult" thingy.

 

Considering the fact, you are one of those dumpees that seeks revenge against your Ex...

 

However, she just kepted on going and she climbed into her beat up VW Jeeta and I know she saw me in a nice suit climbing out of my Lexus! Hee....hee... Got a little revenge there.

Had Exes drag you into court and had your a55 handed to you...

 

And believe me, my ass has been a victim to the courts and a screwed up situation.

 

Perhaps it's you who hasn't figured the whole "adult" thingy out.

 

Guess what! I am an educated, successful and professional adult.

 

What now?

 

Is this where we to start to compare bank accounts, cars we drive, clothes we wear, jobs, diplomas?

 

Just wondering because the fact that you are projecting your own desire to "sock it to your Ex" onto HeadShed and how he handles his Ex... So to me, your education, success and professional adult doesn't mean crap to me and it won't mean much to HeadShed should this continue to escalate.

 

Probably older than you are kiddo!

 

Hey Sport! I'm 40 and my goal is defuse the situation.

 

What is your goal exactly?

 

To have HeadShed prove he is right, end up in court, have the cops involved, etc.?

 

If I was HeadShed.... You would be last person on my list when seeking advice on dealing with an Ex that was out for blood. Considering you end up in court and to make matters worse, lose.

 

It would be like asking someone who broke, maxed out his credit cards, declared bankruptcy, owes you money, asking to borrow more... For Financial advice.

Edited May 22, 2012 by gibson

[MissBrunette84]

I'm from England and you can't really get a 4 year injunction. The police here wouldn't do anything unless somebody actually came to his home, either hit him or threatend him to his face.

 

You could get a restraining order. I still think you have to actually have something done to you first. My mum got a restraining order against my dad once lol but there usually has to be an actual incident first.

Edited May 22, 2012 by MissBrunette84
typo

[headsashed]

Gibson,i havent harrassed my ex about anything,i havent spoken to her since we broke up a week ago,that was when we was breaking up via txt,well,apart from yesterday when i told her to get out of my house. Yes i spoke to her friend but she messaged me on facebook and told me about what my ex had done on holiday,thanx to know i now know the truth,but did i bite and contact my ex? nope i didnt. As for her brother,i went to the pub and he juat happend to be working,he is only a stand in barman,so he only works when the landlord asks him to,but yes i spoke to him about my ex,i only asked him if he had heard,it was less than a 30 second conversation. That altercation in town the other week,it was just some drunk guy being an idiot,id been talking to him while waiting for my taxi and then he suddenly said he was going to smash my face in,i basically laughed and said do what u want,my ex was shouting dean just leave it,and i did because im not a violent person.

 

Chitown,ive saved all the texts from yesterday and ill save anything else she sends,ive done the right thing in not responding too,maybe thats why she is gettin nasty,maybe i should repsond and tell her politely to stop or ill goto the police but i know the police wont dont anything unless something actually happens to me. Ive never known my ex to be a nasty or violent person so these threats are probably just her anger showing and nothing else,she will probably txt me in a few days saying sorry,then again she may not,but if these threats carry on then i will ring the police and get advice.

 

Chitown and gibson,you both give me great advice,always have done,you both have different views on how to deal with this thats all,so dont be falling out,my ex isnt worth it,believe me.

[headsashed]

Be prepared for the 'smear' campaign. It will be very hard to keep a dignified silience but in this case it is soooooooo important that you do...Things are about to get real messy and you are about to get tested...It's a test you HAVE to pass...

 

 

Im kind of confused about what you mean there,sorry,im not the brightest person lol.

[headsashed]

ah,i get you now,your right,it would seem easier to hit back hard but thats something im not willing to do,ive more important things to worry about in my life,she will get sick and tired eventually,i hope anyway,but ignoring her seems to be causing this right now,let her vent,threaten or whatever,i highly doubt she will go through with any of it,she can say all the nasty things in the world about me too,thats just immature,all my friends know im none of what she will be sayin and thats all that matters. If she wants to paint me as some &^%&$%^ then let her cos by the time she has finished i will have moved on with my life totally.

[geegirl]

ah,i get you now,your right,it would seem easier to hit back hard but thats something im not willing to do,ive more important things to worry about in my life,she will get sick and tired eventually,i hope anyway,but ignoring her seems to be causing this right now,let her vent,threaten or whatever,i highly doubt she will go through with any of it,she can say all the nasty things in the world about me too,thats just immature,all my friends know im none of what she will be sayin and thats all that matters. If she wants to paint me as some &^%&$%^ then let her cos by the time she has finished i will have moved on with my life totally.

 

I've only been gone for two weeks and it's taken such a turn! I'm sorry H. I can't believe she slept with someone else. She did this to you before.

 

You have to ignore. Nothing you say will change anything or make her view you otherwise. She is on the warpath. She will paint you black, lie, smear your name, lash at you because she does not have the emotional or mental maturity to turn it inward and look at herself. It's always easier to smear someone else than to look at yourself. Keeps all the attention on you and takes the focus off her.

 

It's not about love anymore when someone that supposedly loved you, turns on you and paints you black. It's all about winning.

 

You have to ignore. The best thing that I did for myself was to shut down my private email, block/junk emails to my work, block all texts on my phone just to have peace of mind and to move on with my life. She will self-destruct and in time she will get tired and go away. She wants a reaction and if you play into it, you will literally be feeding the monster. The best way is to cut all cords and to completely stay away from her.

 

Move on with your life. And the only way to do that is to have complete peace. In time you will see that you dodged a bullet.

 

I don't post much or browse here anymore. Yes, like you, there's so much more to life as you said but you must practice what you preach. She is nothing but a tiny little insignificant, rotten dot in the enormity of your life. Think about it. All the years ahead of you. Don't let one person dictate what you hope, deserve and want for yourself. I hope the next time I come back on, I'll have the opportunity to read how wonderful life is treating you. I wish you well H. You deserve better and when you find it, that lightbulb is going to go off in your head!

 

Keep strong. Lock your door! Ignore all communication and start taking charge. If you want your life to change, then you MUST WANT to start making different choices for yourself. Good luck!

Edited May 22, 2012 by geegirl

[headsashed]

Thanx for ur reply geegirl,yup it did take a turn didnt it lol,i knew it was coming too,im glad its all happened now so i can finally get on with life and meet someone better. she slept with other people while we was broke up but this time is was premeditated cheating, its not a game but im gonna be the better person soon enough when i have finally moved on with my life.

[geegirl]

Thanx for ur reply geegirl,yup it did take a turn didnt it lol,i knew it was coming too,im glad its all happened now so i can finally get on with life and meet someone better. she slept with other people while we was broke up but this time is was premeditated cheating, its not a game but im gonna be the better person soon enough when i have finally moved on with my life.

 

And everytime you feel hurt, confused or unsure about your emotions towards her or the relationship, go back and read your threads. Go back and read the advice. This will never change. She will never change. Past behavior is a great predictor of future behavior and a repeat offender will unlikely be an exception to the rule.

 

Please work on rebuilding yourself, H. Your self-esteem and your dignity has hit a low point. It's one thing to stay away from her, but that is not enough. You have to reinvent yourself because the person you are now is the person that will continue to attract negativity into your life. You have to change that.

 

Better is out there but you have to be "better" within yourself to recognize it.

[headsashed]

ur 100% right geegirl,its all about steps now,step 1 is over and that is the relationship,step 2 is getting over her which tbh i dont think will take that long as ive done most my hurting already. Step 3 will be to get my old self back,the person that made others laugh and smile,thats when my confidence and self esteem will rocket and ill be able to attract posotive things in life,ie a new woman,im not looking for anyone right now and i wont for sometime because its all about working on myself. Easier said than done i know but only i can make my own future a good 1.

[Mack05]

Headsashed U are getting great advice on this thread and you need to move forward now. I had an ex with BPD who believes everyone is out to get her. She lied about having a new boyfriend and went to great lengths to get this 'false' information to me. Even sent me a mail as 'him' even though it couldn't be more obvious it was her.

 

I also had her friend email me condeming her behaviour (just like your ex's friend did). Telling me that she was lieing. I told her that her friend told me that she was lieing and her response was that I was starting a smear campaign to hurt her haha!. There are some people in this world headsashed you can't help. Your ex is one of them.. My ex is one of them. They play the victim brilliantly cause they really believe in their fantasy world that they have been wronged! They blame, deny and move on.

 

Now its about helping yourself. I have been doing that alot more lately and it feels awesome..I feel I am getting control of my life and that I am emotionally growing by the week. It's about going through the relationship and learning from it. Learn from her mistakes and more importantly learn from yours. Our ex's will never see the light and if we don't improve and grow as people we will fall into the same trap as they will...

 

No thanks! Look at this as an excitment time in your life...Time to take the bull by the horns. No more excuses...

[geegirl]

ur 100% right geegirl,its all about steps now,step 1 is over and that is the relationship,step 2 is getting over her which tbh i dont think will take that long as ive done most my hurting already. Step 3 will be to get my old self back,the person that made others laugh and smile,thats when my confidence and self esteem will rocket and ill be able to attract posotive things in life,ie a new woman,im not looking for anyone right now and i wont for sometime because its all about working on myself. Easier said than done i know but only i can make my own future a good 1.

 

You already know what you have to do. It's not easy to get over a break-up and to re-emerge but you will get there and you will do it. We've all done it and you will too. Just a little course in life we all have to take. I have faith in you and you made a promise to Flo and to yourself. The next time I come here, and if you're posting, I hope to see you doing better. It would be a great sign of success if I don't see you here at all! That to me would mean that you're busy enjoying your wonderful life!

[headsashed]

There wont be anymore excuses from me,ive got 1 aim in life,to be happy,and ill do whatever it takes to achieve that aim,as i just posted,its about taking steps now and just better myself,like the person i used to be. Its going to take time i know,but im prepared for it. We make our own future right? now its time for me to start making it an amazing 1.

[headsashed]

Im still going to visit this site geegirl,its helped me so much,ive listend to advice,ive ignored advice,and i learnt my lesson the hard way. I hope i can help others in time,when im fully healed.

 

Flo,love what u put about forming a queue lol,hope your right but i have to better myself now or that queue wont ever happen.

[chemar22]

Sometimes reinventing oneself is the best thing you can do. Learn to be happy again and positive. Love yourself and be the person you know others will love too. Socialize with good people that have positive attitudes and will encourage you, not bring you down. You will be fine again!

[geegirl]

Im still going to visit this site geegirl,its helped me so much,ive listend to advice,ive ignored advice,and i learnt my lesson the hard way. I hope i can help others in time,when im fully healed.

 

Flo,love what u put about forming a queue lol,hope your right but i have to better myself now or that queue wont ever happen.

 

Yes, when you are fully healed, come back and help those that need it. I have a feeling you'll get there in no time. You see her for what she is now and in time your head will take over your heart. I have no doubt that you're going to learn from this and make better choices in your life, H. I'm rooting for you. There's a reason why I've stayed faithful to your story. You strike me as a good guy with good values and I truly want the best for you. And with a face like that, you'll be charmin' in no time!