In Love with my Best Friend

[xxinnovate]

There is this girl that I've been friends with for seven months. We only had a couple of classes together so we didn't talk much at first, we only really started talking after some wall post on Facebook. We talked mostly online, on MSN. At school she would be with her friends, and I would be with mine, so we never really had much conversation.

 

After talking for a while, we realized we had a lot in common, about ourselves, how we think about other people, and when we started talking, she had a boyfriend, so of course even if I had liked her at that time, I could never tell her. I did however start have some feelings for her. She really was a great girl and a great friend. There was this one day she needed to go to a video game store to get something for her brother, so I asked if I could tag along and she said yes, and we actually did have a lot of fun. We got the game and we went out for lunch.

 

Two months after we started talking she told me she had feelings for me. I couldn't believe it, it was like some kind of dream. At that point I told her the same thing but we were confused on what to do about it. She had a boyfriend so she wasn't about to cheat on him just because of some strange feelings. On her boyfriend's birthday, they had a fight and decided to go on break. Meanwhile, I was trying to deal with how to deal with these feelings. So, I gave her a suggestion. I told her maybe we should just kiss, and see if we have a connection. She said yeah, so we went someplace and we kissed. That kiss turned into much more than just a kiss. After a while, I asked if she felt something, and she said yes.

 

That whole week, we met up at the same place to just talk and kiss and just be with each other. That week was magical, I felt like I was on cloud 9. But,

when she asked me if I had told someone about us hanging out like this, I said no, but in reality I had told my best friend. She had found out through someone else going on his Facebook account and looking at the messages. So, she had told me that we should just stay friends, and it broke my heart. I never told her at that time because I was scared that she would call everything off. She wasn't mad, she was just disappointed that I wasn't the guy who she thought I was. I realize that she's been hurt before, and I was just someone who had also hurt her. But, unlike those who have hurt her, I am here to stay and be there for her.

 

Even after that event, I was still that someone whom she could talk to about personal stuff. Her and her boyfriend got back together but two months after their break, they broke up for good. It was about a month after that she started to push me away; she started to close herself off from me. It was then that I poured my heart and soul out to her, how much I loved her and how sorry I was for what I did and that I would never try to hurt her, I would never do anything to lose her trust, but it was then that she told me she had lost feelings for me. I was startled, but then when I talked to a friend about it (I never told him the whole story, just that a girl I used to be with had lost feelings for me) but he had told me that her losing feelings for me just couldn't be true. He was studying something like this at university, so it's not like I could doubt him, but I still did. Had she really lost feelings for me? I still don't know.

 

There is another factor. I had this bracelet that I had engraved with my name on it. In fact, when I got the bracelet, she was with me. She saw me first put on the bracelet and even helped put it on me. When that week had ended, I gave her my bracelet and told her that if she never wants to be with me again, she could give the bracelet back to me, and also that if she wants to give me another chance, she would tell me and give the bracelet back to me. It's been seven months, and I still have no sight of that bracelet. I don't know whether she forgot about it or she was just lying about not having feelings for me to deal with the stress that came up with it.

 

So about a month ago, I had a conversation about our friendship. What was happening between us was that we had been not talking to each other as personally as we used to be. Usually I'd just message her or she'd message me asking how I/she was and how was my/your day, and we'd pick up from there. When I had asked, she told me that she tried to let me back in her life, but she couldn't and she just feels that trust is gone. This has lead me to believe that she truly had lost feelings for me, as someone intimate with her, and as a friend, which was truly heartbreaking. I told her that I would never leave her and that I would always be there for her, and I know she was appreciative of that.

 

After all this, I have doubts on a couple of things. Had she lost feelings for me? Should I just wait it out and see if she comes around? The most puzzling of them is what has she done with the bracelet? Please help.

[january2011]

She's said she's lost her feelings for you numerous times, I think you're going to have to accept that. It's highly unlikely that she'll come around. With regard to the bracelet, you could try asking for it back but I think you might have to just cut your losses and accept that it's gone too.