Terminally ill relative

[pink_sugar]

My question for all of you is, after making the decision to let certain relatives go from your life (they treated you horribly all your life and don't show any regard for you) how are you supposed to feel when you get the news their illness has progressed? My H's mom found out she has more tumors. My husband tried to be there for her when she was first diagnosed, but her husband (his stepfather) constantly kept him in the dark. Only contacted him when they needed something, never kept him up to date as to what was going on as far as surgery, treatments and etc. When we did visit her in the hospital, she told us we didn't have to be there. Basically, she never seemed to care whether or not her son wanted to visit or see her. And she only gave credit to her husband, not anyone else who helped out. To top it off, they told us to have a nice life after being offended over facebook comments, yet she still includes him in family email updates. She definitely hasn't communicated to him in person or on the phone since November and her husband basically keeps us away. They've made it clear they don't want us in their lives and my husband is at the point where he feels they have made their bed to live in. He tried for a long time to better his relationship with his mom, despite her issues, but she never wanted to be a mother to him. I think at this point it's best to wish them well and that's it. She's done a lot of awful things to him and continues to do that she really just doesn't deserve him anymore. Is it cruel of him to let them go and be done with them?

[Lois]

I think it would serve your husband well to ask himself this question: How will I feel when she's gone? If we've been unkind and unforgiving to someone throughout our lives, it has a habit of haunting us when that someone we love dies. It may be cruel to him to let them go.