jgs78 Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 Hi everyone, I am new here and you might have read my post in the breaking up section. My boyfriend broke up with me at the beginning of May after we had been together for more than 6 years. I have caved twice since he broke up with me. But we haven't talked, I just emailed him, he emailed me back, and I emailed him a few days ago. I hope I haven' blown it, but then I figure, how could I have blown it already when it's already blown to pieces pretty much. I just don't understand it, he told me 2 days before our break up how much he loved me and I am his soulmate and he couldn't wait to visit me next. Maybe he has met someone else. I don't know, but all I want is a second chance. I feel really hopeless that he will never want me back. I feel as if he is going to try someone who he thinks is better. I feel horrible and I just don't know what to do with myself. He said that we were growing apart and then he asked if we could be friends. That is the most dreadful thing of someone to ask ESPECIALLY when you've been with them for so long. I think there should be a rule book that you can't ask that of your ex right away if you've gone out with them for a long time. It just makes you feel even more and more horrible. Any advice of what I can do to make him want me back? Someone told me that it might be the distance thing. I moved here about a year ago to pursue my dreams in design, he didn't move with me because of financial reasons but we promised each other that it was going to work. he visited me once, I went back to California and visited him. He was going to visit me again, but joined a life-changing seminar course. Once he did the "first phase" of the course, he started acting different. It made me wonder if he had met someone else. The course is weird and is like one of those pyramid like schemes. I always knew he was someone who was easily swayed, but it was to the point where he was trying to recruit everyone, including me. He said our relationship wouldn't work without it. Anyway he was supposed to visit me again, but that didn't pan out. I don't know if he has met someone else. I just feel to my stomach about it. I just want him back. People keep telling me that I was never really that happy, or taht it wasn't that good of a relationship anyway. I know it's their way of trying to make me get over this. I can't, I have so many things not going well in my life. I also had a fallling out with my only friends here, I am unemployed. I just want some honesty for once. Can someone please help me. What can I do, I love him so much, he told me in his 1 email that he hated using email to talk abou this and that he was troubled by the fact that I didn't want any kind of relationship with him. He also said before all of that that he was there for me anytime to talk or whatever. it's like he has been thinking about us for a long time. He really isn't attracted to me anymore or has met someone else, Ican feel it. This really hurts, I just want him back. Please help with any advice you have. Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 Whatever the reasons for his moving on, the distance remains a problem. I hate to say it, but I most often see that as a problem for men because of their sexual needs. Women, more often, can stay the course because their emotional needs are met through phone calls and mails more readily. It may be the strain of no physical contact has really gotten to him. He may be honest with himself about that, or he may be "inventing" other reasons why the relationship isn't working. Of course, it may be true that he's growing away from you without your fully realizing it. Even if he's telling you what's happening with him honestly, it may be difficult for you to judge how much of an impact this is having on his personality and life choices at a distance. Unless you plan to live in the same town again anytime soon, I doubt you have a future. Even then, the strain might have been too much. LDRs are very difficult to pull off. Sorry -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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