self-esteem

[annonymous]

help! i have a major self-esteem problem. i never realized how much self-esteem was. for instance, i only thought it had to do with how you saw yourself looks wise. i am reading this book called the six pillars of self-esteem and am surprised to find out all the things that mean self-esteem and self-efficacy as well.

 

so why am i writing? well as i was reading this book i realized just how defective i am. i started reading it because i have a horrible jealousy and control problem.

 

unfortunately, i only feel worse upon reading this. i feel so very angry as well for never having learned this essential skills, i feel so deprived and hurt that i cried.

 

how does one go about restoring their self-efficacy and self-esteem? all this book does is talk about it but offers no real solutions. i am so angry, know wonder i've had so many problems all my life. i feel so cheated out of being normal, seriously, i am furious! ! !

 

what do i do? i need something that will help me restore my faith to the human race, men inparticular, to trust people, to be spontaneous and fun, secure in my world and accepting of others the way they are. any advice?

[cindy]

Take a deep breath and be happy for who you are at the moment. Look at life as a gift given to you. Cherish the time you have on this journey. Don't take things to extreme. I am sure you are a caring and loving person deep inside. Let that show through and all else will follow

help! i have a major self-esteem problem. i never realized how much self-esteem was. for instance, i only thought it had to do with how you saw yourself looks wise. i am reading this book called the six pillars of self-esteem and am surprised to find out all the things that mean self-esteem and self-efficacy as well. so why am i writing? well as i was reading this book i realized just how defective i am. i started reading it because i have a horrible jealousy and control problem. unfortunately, i only feel worse upon reading this. i feel so very angry as well for never having learned this essential skills, i feel so deprived and hurt that i cried. how does one go about restoring their self-efficacy and self-esteem? all this book does is talk about it but offers no real solutions. i am so angry, know wonder i've had so many problems all my life. i feel so cheated out of being normal, seriously, i am furious! ! ! what do i do? i need something that will help me restore my faith to the human race, men inparticular, to trust people, to be spontaneous and fun, secure in my world and accepting of others the way they are. any advice?

[Tony T]

Sufficient esteem is already inside of you. It must simply be activated.

 

Recall in the movie, Wizard of Oz, where Judy and her friends discover that the wizard was an imposter. But being very wise, the fake wizard gives the cowardly lion and badge of courage, which is all it took for the lion to feel sufficiently strong to take on the world.

 

And to the scare crow who wanted a brain, he gave a diploma which was enough to bring out the smarts that were already there. And to the tin man who wanted a heart, he was given a plastic heart...and all of a sudden he was able to feel great love.

 

So, I suggest you click your heels three times and know that you need not go back to Kansas to find self esteem. It is within you right now. It may have been beaten down by parents, siblings, relatives, bosses, associates, schoolmates, etc. but it is there. You are a worthy human being deserving of all the good things life has to offer.

 

SO BY THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME BY LOVESHACK.ORG AND ALL OTHER APPROPRIATE GOVERNING AUTHORITIES, E. PLURIBUS UNUM, I HEREBY GRANT YOU FOR ALL TIMES AND PURPOSES A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF GREAT FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF WHICH YOU SHALL GENEROUSLY SHARE WITH ALL THOSE YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH.

 

KNOW YE ALL BY THESE PRESENCE THAT YOU SHALL EXTEND ALL THE COURTESIES AND RESPECT UPON THE BEARER OF THIS CONVEYANCE AND AT ALL TIMES ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE IS A CHILD OF GOD AND WORTHY OF ALL THE BENEFITS OF LIFE THAT HE SHALL SEEK.

 

SIGNED AND SEALED THIS SIXTH DAY OF OCTOBER, 2000:

 

(SEAL) LoveShack.org

 

I think that ought to take care of it. The rest is up to you.

[Nicky]

help! i have a major self-esteem problem. i never realized how much self-esteem was. for instance, i only thought it had to do with how you saw yourself looks wise. i am reading this book called the six pillars of self-esteem and am surprised to find out all the things that mean self-esteem and self-efficacy as well. so why am i writing? well as i was reading this book i realized just how defective i am. i started reading it because i have a horrible jealousy and control problem. unfortunately, i only feel worse upon reading this. i feel so very angry as well for never having learned this essential skills, i feel so deprived and hurt that i cried. how does one go about restoring their self-efficacy and self-esteem? all this book does is talk about it but offers no real solutions. i am so angry, know wonder i've had so many problems all my life. i feel so cheated out of being normal, seriously, i am furious! ! ! what do i do? i need something that will help me restore my faith to the human race, men inparticular, to trust people, to be spontaneous and fun, secure in my world and accepting of others the way they are. any advice?

When we suddenly wake up to ourselves, and are facing something we really don't like the look of- IT HURTS. Especially, when you get older, and you realize how you have been for so many years, and how much better things might have been.

 

But don't waste your life having regrets. Learn from this experience. You have the chance for a new beginning in front of you, and a more enriching phase in your life. Try not to see this experience in a negative light.

 

I suspect, as Tony pointed out, this is largely to do with input (or lack of) from people around you when you were younger. But now you are grown up. You are now responsible for your own feelings and problems, and finding a solution to them. And you can and will get beyond this.

 

Realize you are not alone. NOBODY has total self- esteem, and many many people seriously lack one. You are fortunate, you have discovered this about yourself. Many don't.

 

Many colleges and organizations run programs which help you deal with this. I tend to find those better for me than reading a book. Maybe you will too.

 

Maybe it will also help, if you can work out WHY you feel so bad about yourself. Maybe throughout home and school, the message you received was that you aren't that special, and you'll never get far in life. When we are children it is easy to accept these messages without questioning them. Now you are old enough to question them. Why should you assume that all these messages were right?

 

People often put others down to make themselves feel better.

 

This is made all the easier for them, if you accept what they say as "true".

 

I am sure there is an element of this in your history.

 

But there is only really one person who really knows the truth about you: YOU. You have to see in yourself the things that you like and which are good. You have to realize that just because you aren't perfect, it doesn't make you worthless. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is worthless. And if we didn't have flaws, how could we accept others warts and all?

 

You don't see your value, because you have been brainwashed into thinking at some level that you are worthless. It is now time to deprogramme yourself.

 

I think the problem with this day and age is that we measure people in terms of material success. Donald Trump is seen as successful: rich, beautiful wives etc. But the greedy die alone, and at the end of the day what counts are the relationships we have, not how big your bank account is.

 

I would rather have people say they liked me because I was kind and well-meaning than rich.

 

Try not to see your current traits as all negative. There are pro's and con's to everything: I try to control what happens in my life. This has been great for my career, but not so great in my personal life! It's just trying to aim for a healthy balance.

 

People will only see the good qualities you possess, when you see them.

 

One that I see, is that most people prefer to live their lives in denial as to how they really are, refusing to change. You don't. You are very unusual and special in that respect.

 

All the best, what you are doing isn't easy, but it will be worth it.

 

No pain- no gain.

[hoo]

help! i have a major self-esteem problem. i never realized how much self-esteem was. for instance, i only thought it had to do with how you saw yourself looks wise. i am reading this book called the six pillars of self-esteem and am surprised to find out all the things that mean self-esteem and self-efficacy as well. so why am i writing? well as i was reading this book i realized just how defective i am. i started reading it because i have a horrible jealousy and control problem. unfortunately, i only feel worse upon reading this. i feel so very angry as well for never having learned this essential skills, i feel so deprived and hurt that i cried. how does one go about restoring their self-efficacy and self-esteem? all this book does is talk about it but offers no real solutions. i am so angry, know wonder i've had so many problems all my life. i feel so cheated out of being normal, seriously, i am furious! ! ! what do i do? i need something that will help me restore my faith to the human race, men inparticular, to trust people, to be spontaneous and fun, secure in my world and accepting of others the way they are. any advice?