hmmmmm Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 okay just a question: I've been dating this guy for three months just about. its a little bit unorthodox, for example, he asked me if i liked him, and he didn't at that time, we're dating now so obviously the feeling is recipocated. He said he was still getting over other girls he had liked so he couldn't like me, when he first asked, which was at the beginning of a week. then by the end of the week, he had kissed me, and i confronted him telling him as much as i enjoy kissing him, i wouldn't put myself out like that. turns out that he said he did like me, but is afriad of dating....we'll we are dating now....He is a good guy, anyways here is my thing: i know im not supposed to really be concerned about his "ex(s)" everybody's got one for the most part, but here is the thing "issue" they dated two february's ago in 2003 to about june, and then she got back together with her old b.f., we'll call Stever. My boyfriend mike, didn't know that and they continued to be physical all through the summer, until he found out she was back with steve. I mean mike did have an idea, abut was so focused on her that he refused to acknowledge that she was just using him, because "he loved her, and she loved him". Well they didn't sleep together, but rounded third. so they went of to college in different states, where she would email and im him telling him she still loved him and would do anything to be with him. those conversations lasted all school year until this past march, when we began dating, me and mike. and all the meantime this girl was still dating steve. anywho, she told him she wanted to be with him while we dated, and knew we were dating, adn whiel she was dating someone else. he had had his first really intimate relationship with her, and it clings tohim. It was the first girl he "loved" and know he knowingly acknowledges it was lust. Eitehr way i met mike ats chool and he lives states away from me, so this summer is the long-distance thing. I am not a jealous type, but in this situation i feel like it would be "wrong" for him to go and see her. I mean she obviously has no rules or respect for dating couples, and would try to mess with my man. Even if she didn't accomplish stealing him, she would mess with his head and emotions. I don't think its fair. I talked to my b.f. about ti, but he said i wasn't trusting him. He said that she has a bad life, and that he's the only good thing so far that can help her out. To make matters worse, for myself, since i am emotional anyways, she is beautiful. she is, i don't relaly have hard feelings towards her personally per say, because i'm sure she is nice or my b.f. wouldn't have dated her, but she is still really weak in the relationship area, and i think with her beauty and body, she could mess with my man. She still calls him by thumper, because when she used to kiss him, he'd get nervous and his leg would tap. I guess i'm just trying to figure something out...because i'm treading water, and for some reason this still bothers me.... i dont' know, maybe its pathetic, i guess i do trust that Mikes intentions are good, but when you put a guy with a beuatiful ex that he thought he loved, who is goregeous, and she is very good at being seductive....then maybe i'm so don't trust her, (not to be mean towards her)....I don't know her at all, but of her... just wondering....pondernig a thought -- what do you think? am i out of line? am i showing mike that i don't trust him? or is this where i build trust?? i just think he shouldn't hang out with her, for his sake, and for the respect of our new relationship.... Link to post Share on other sites
undedicded Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 there are actually alot of other people on this bard who are going through the exact same thing. check some of the posts in the http://www.loveshack.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?forumid=38 section. there is alot of college student withh the same ex bf/gf problems there as you. it all winds up to be just be careful and prepare to pull the plug if you have to to avoid being a victim. trust is tough. Link to post Share on other sites
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