raged!!!!!

[gigi]

This is very upsetting for me to discuss, but I must get it off my chest and do something about it.

 

I don't even know where to begin!!! Let me just start by saying it bluntly...

 

I came home from work the other day and I found my son and daughter having SEX. This raged me with all my might. I am very confused and do not understand how this could ever happen? Is this not insest. Why would my children ever do such a thing? They have been brought up with extreme love from a loving mother and father. Please guide in doing the right thing!!!

[Tony T]

The worst thing you can do is become raged. There is a serious problem and disorder here that must be handled appropriately and level headedly.

 

Incest is illegal. Before you report this to the law, you have to inform your children of this.

 

Second, they are most likely victims of talk show TV which the past few years has been showcasing sex between siblings, parent and child, child and pet, child and brick wall, I mean every kind of perversion is on TV almost every day.

 

Third, you need to take some responsibility for this. These children have obviously not received sufficient moral training or have they been taught the consequences of their actions. Perhaps you thought their teachers were doing this...well, they were probably watching Jerry Springer too.

 

My suggestion to you is, first, you are right now in no way capable of handling this in your state of mind. Even if you are not a member of a church, call a clergyman of a large church in your area, tell him what the situation is, and get those kids to him TONIGHT or as soon as possible.

 

Pastors of large congregations are trained in counselling and know how to handle these matters. They also keep them confidential and will not normally notify police unless a homicide has been committed. This is your fastest and quickest way of getting help. Also, let the minister know just how angry you are and let him help you with this.

 

The pathetic behavior of these kids is beyond getting angry about. Forget your selfish anger right now and get these kids help before their lives are destroyed. Forgive them now for this behavior and use your energy to get it corrected.

 

Find out if they have been doing this for a period of time. If so, you may have to seek the additional help of psychologists and you may have to separate them (have one move elsewhere, with a relative, etc.) for a period of time. There is plenty of assistance out there to help you deal with this. Just, PLEASE, keep your anger in check. This is no time for you to spout off...to them or anyone else.

 

THE MORE ANGER YOU DISPLAY TO THESE KIDS, THE MORE RESISTANT THEY WILL BE TO TREATMENT AND OTHER INTERVENTIONS.

 

Now, look in your phone book and make the call. Look in the yellow pages under Churches. If you don't want to call a minister, call a psychologist. If not that, call a Crisis line. If not that, call the police without giving your identify and ask how something like this should be handled.

 

My feeling is both will need to enter a treatment program.

 

I also suggest later on, once you have taken care of this immediate problem, you go to the links section of this site. You will find links on sexual issues under addiction and recovery. There you will find help for victims and participants of incest.

 

CALM DOWN AND ACT NOW!!! Please let us know that everything is OK. The important thing is to keep yourself cool and calm. These kids are very sick. They should be treated as delicately as any other person suffering from a serious disease.

[Rogue]

I don't think there's a lot any of us at the Shack can do to help.I did a quick search,and maybe these organizations can help more:

 

www.toughlove.org (they have support groups for this)

 

Survivors of Incest Anonymous

 

P.O. box 21817

 

Balitmore MD. 21222

 

Phone (410) 282-3400

 

Hope this helps Gigi.If I find out more I'll pass it along.

[Jean]

Raged, you didn't say how old your children were. Very young children are sometimes curious about the opposite sex which is not abnormal. in which case you should try and remain calm and explain to them some sex facts and let them know that is not appropriate behavior. But in any case try and remain calm you don't want them more messed up. and definitely get some outside help.

This is very upsetting for me to discuss, but I must get it off my chest and do something about it. I don't even know where to begin!!! Let me just start by saying it bluntly... I came home from work the other day and I found my son and daughter having SEX. This raged me with all my might. I am very confused and do not understand how this could ever happen? Is this not insest. Why would my children ever do such a thing? They have been brought up with extreme love from a loving mother and father. Please guide in doing the right thing!!!