No control of my anger

[Els]

Do you get a kickback when somebody goes to that link or signs up for the "session"?

 

Pretty sure she does. One of those pyramid/multi-level marketing schemes, I'd wager.

 

TBQ: It cures lupus, the common cold, AND HIV. Beat that, modern medicine. :laugh:

[somedude81]

 

SD: Here is my suggestion: Anger Room Dallas About Us |

 

That's an interesting idea.

 

I'd need to bring a video game system and some pictures of my old obsession for good measure.

[xxoo]

A long run always helps me.

 

Think of activities that let the bad energy out: cardio, cathartic journaling, singing angry music at the top of your lungs.

 

Also, think of activities that that promote overall emotional well being, and proactively manage anger: yoga, martial arts, meditation, regular time spent with good friends, etc.

[Christine52]

So it's only May and so far this year, I've broken three video game controllers, one game, threw a shoe through one of my apartment windows after getting a parking ticket and every now and then after reading something on this forum, I get an overwhelming urge to just toss my mouse in disgust. I also occasionally hit myself when I think of something that makes me hate myself. I'm also prone to randomly cursing my old obsession when I'm alone.

 

It it's not obvious, I'm not happy.

 

Thankfully I haven't hurt anybody or broken something really expensive. But this is obviously not good.

 

There are so many things that piss me off and of the few things that I actually enjoy, some of them can end up pissing me off.

 

That controller that I just broke, was my last one. I'm not too eager about buying another one, because without any sort of change, I'll end up breaking that one aswel.

 

Anger is something that usually manifests from a deeper hurt or pain. Do you feel depressed at times? Unmotivated? Difficulty getting out of bed? Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents and siblings?

 

It is going to help you a lot to get some counseling. Everyone has problems, particularly anger and depression, and the only way to get better is to seek help.

[somedude81]

My answers are bold

 

Anger is something that usually manifests from a deeper hurt or pain.

 

Do you feel depressed at times?

 

Always

 

Unmotivated?

 

Yes

 

Difficulty getting out of bed?

 

Yes

 

Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents and siblings?

 

With my parents and one of my brothers yes. The other brother I can't stand and he's the black sheep of the family. Nobody gets along with him. He's never on my mind and I don't care about him at all.

 

 

It is going to help you a lot to get some counseling. Everyone has problems, particularly anger and depression, and the only way to get better is to seek help.

 

I've been through counseling, and already talked about all of the above issues many times over.

 

My basic moods are depressed, sad, hopeless and sudden bursts of anger.

A long run always helps me.

 

Think of activities that let the bad energy out: cardio, cathartic journaling, singing angry music at the top of your lungs.

 

Also, think of activities that that promote overall emotional well being, and proactively manage anger: yoga, martial arts, meditation, regular time spent with good friends, etc.

I keep hearing mention of yoga and meditation. I really think I should look into them. And I know they can be done on the cheap, unlike martial arts.

[Teknoe]

I keep hearing mention of yoga and meditation. I really think I should look into them.

 

Google DDPYoga. I heard it's legit.

I'm going to buy it and try it out for myself.

 

Have you ever tried talking to your college counselor? It's probably free. Help is available. You just have to drop your pride at the door and seek it out.

[snug.bunny]

Anytime I hear people say "they can't afford therapy", I cringe.

 

Sure, you may not get the BEST most qualified therapist, but in most States/Counties, you CAN find therapy on a sliding scale to free of charge.

 

My mother has no insurance and very little income. What I can't afford to help her with, I've supplemented for her by getting her free doctor appointments, and she is now receiving full time therapy from a licensed professional. It takes work, but if you're willing to spend some time going after it, you'll find it.

 

What you choose to do instead, is create threads, or draw certain threads back to you, sucking the life out of those around you.

 

If you don't care enough about yourself to help yourself, you're up sh*ts creek. What is so wrong with making a personal investment in yourself and your well being?

 

Look into Yoga if you believe that will help you. It certainly can't hurt...

 

Sign up for Groupon, they run specials ALL THE TIME. Adult Schools offer classes for small fees, so do community centers.

 

Find some meditation CD's, Videos, DVDS. If you can buy video games, you can buy those things instead. Just go for it! There is no one standing in your way...

[Teknoe]

Anytime I hear people say "they can't afford therapy", I cringe.

 

Sure, you may not get the BEST most qualified therapist, but in most States/Counties, you CAN find therapy on a sliding scale to free of charge.

 

My mother has no insurance and very little income. What I can't afford to help her with, I've supplemented for her by getting her free doctor appointments, and she is now receiving full time therapy from a licensed professional. It takes work, but if you're willing to spend some time going after it, you'll find it.

 

What you choose to do instead, is create threads, or draw certain threads back to you, sucking the life out of those around you.

 

If you don't care enough about yourself to help yourself, you're up sh*ts creek. What is so wrong with making a personal investment in yourself and your well being?

 

Look into Yoga if you believe that will help you. It certainly can't hurt...

 

Sign up for Groupon, they run specials ALL THE TIME. Adult Schools offer classes for small fees, so do community centers.

 

Find some meditation CD's, Videos, DVDS. If you can buy video games, you can buy those things instead. Just go for it! There is no one standing in your way...

 

Unfortunately, SD has caught himself up in the victim's mentality. He doesn't know any other way to approach life. He's the victim. It's God's fault. It's girls' fault, etc.

 

Another issue I see (that I have personal experience with MYSELF!) is that he likes to say "I'll look into it" but he never does. There is no self-drive or motivation in his body.

 

He always says "I'll look into it" but you know what, he never does. It's all hot air from him. I've seen hundreds of times where he says he'll look into something, but he never does. I think he tries to be genuine about looking into it (at the time), but he lacks the fire for trying. He ends up resorting to logging onto LS to complain.

 

1. Ross once sent him some meditation links. SD said he'll listen to them. Ross asked him later if he ever did. SD said nope

 

2. Chokie more than once invited him to Vegas. Nope

 

3. Meeks offered real life assistance where someone would meet up with SD to hear him out. SD at the time claimed he needed someone to talk with in real life, so Meeks came up with the offer. Exactly what SD described he wanted... yup, he turned down the offer. Nope

 

4. I once suggested SD visiting small group activity night. He said he'll look into it. Nope. Now he's totally against the idea, whereas initially he said he'll look into it. He never did. Nope

 

5. I once suggested skydiving with his father. SD said that wasn't a bad idea, and he'll talk to his dad about it sometime. He said he'll look into it. Now I don't know for sure, but I highly doubt he ever had that talk with his dad. And right now, as SD reads this, he knows whether he talked to his dad about it or not. He knows deep down what the real answer is. Nope (is my guess)

 

Again, "I'll look into it" is lingo for "Just trying to sound like I care..."

 

The more he starts to just do, the better he'll find life.

Edited May 15, 2012 by Teknoe

[Meeks7]

Unfortunately, SD has caught himself up in the victim's mentality. He doesn't know any other way to approach life. He's the victim. It's God's fault. It's girls' fault, etc.

 

Grace, my gal pal who offered to help out Somedude in real life (which she got rejected by him BTW), said that even off just reading a small handful of his posts. It was immediately noticeable to her.

 

Another issue I see (that I have personal experience with MYSELF!) is that he likes to say "I'll look into it" but he never does. There is no self-drive or motivation in his body.

 

Heh, Grace said something similar after I sent her a topic Somedude had created. She said something along the lines of he just doesn't know any other way to live, and familiar pain is better than trying AND failing. Because that would be new pain, and for him old comfortable pain > new scary pain. Grace says she wouldn't be shocked if he spends most of his Saturday nights at home isolated from the real world, as oppose to living in it.

 

3. Meeks offered real life assistance where someone would meet up with SD to hear him out. SD at the time claimed he needed someone to talk with in real life, so Meeks came up with the offer. Exactly what SD described he wanted... yup, he turned down the offer. Nope

 

That's me! Yeah, sadly I offered Somedude exactly what he asked for in his own thread, and he still declined. That tells me the dude is blowing hot air and really isn't serious about making some much needed changes in his life.

 

I was actually shocked when he turned the offer down.

 

There he was in his thread shouting "I need someone to talk to!"

 

I offered him the opportunity to skype with my good friend Grace.

 

He replied "Sorry, but thanks. What I absolutely need now is someone I can talk to in real life."

 

Seeing that he was located in SoCal I thought to myself "Hey, Grace has plenty of SoCal friends whose life passion it is to see hurting people find the healing that they need."

 

So I offered Somedude, free of charge, the opportunity to meet one of Grace's professional friends, and just shoot the breeze with. Since he did say what he absolutely needed was someone to talk to in real life.

 

How did Somedude respond? "No thanks." I was like "Really? That's what you asked for, and now you don't want what you claim you want." Like, almost when it becomes "real" he cowers away. When it's all hypothetical, he talks a good game. When action is imminent, Somedude seems to duck and cover.

 

My pal Grace says she sees it in too many guys. Guys who don't know what they really want, or, just not able to go through what it takes to get what they really want deep down. It's sad. But doubly sad she said for people with no friends of any sort. Since human beings are social creatures, as long as you have folks around you there's a chance for growth. Alone, you slowly wither away. And truth be told, unless he has a supernatural encounter, he may be stuck in his ways for the rest of his life.

 

 

I once suggested skydiving with his father. SD said that wasn't a bad idea, and he'll talk to his dad about it sometime. He said he'll look into it. Now I don't know for sure, but I highly doubt he ever had that talk with his dad. And right now, as SD reads this, he knows whether he talked to his dad about it or not. He knows deep down what the real answer is. Nope (is my guess)

 

Again, "I'll look into it" is lingo for "Just trying to sound like I care...

 

Interesting. Somedude, did you ever ask your dad about skydiving? If so, what did he say? If you didn't, why haven't you?

Edited May 20, 2012 by Meeks7

[Teknoe]

^ Your friend Grace makes some valid points. I think she hit the nail on the head. Obviously, there is more to a person than his or her posts, but our words and thoughts reveals a lot about us, too. So far, he's all hypothetical talk, but never about taking action.

 

 

Somedude, did you ever ask your dad about skydiving? If so, what did he say? If you didn't, why haven't you?

 

Don't expect an answer. Only he knows for sure whether he asked his dad about skydiving or not. And if he really didn't ask his father like he said he would (i.e. "I'll look into it") then well, that says it all, doesn't it.

[CopingGal]

I think a bunching bag is good. Punching pillows if good. But also look into some deep breathing techniques. Start your day calmly with deep breathing and also see a therapist. I think all these things would be good for you.