xxheartbrokenxx Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Sorry for the story, but I could really use advice. Please! My ex and I were together for 4 years and we were each others firsts. He broke up with me 7months ago and left me for someone else right away. Well, my ex broke up with the new person and then texted me last week. We talked for a bit via text and everything seemed to be going fine. And then he said he wanted to meet up but then heard I was hooking up with the guy I was seeing before him (which I wasn't). I told him my side of the story and it seemed to go well. We are both leaving college sunday to head home, and I wont see him for another 7months. I sent him 2 messages 2 days ago saying "I would like to meet up, let me know if you want to", but i never got a reply. Then he texted my roommate saying he didnt want to meet up anymore after thinking about it and he will not text me back. What do I do? I want to let it go but I still love him. Do I make a last ditch effort and goto his room and surprise him at the door? Do I write a letter and put it on his car? -Sunday will be the last chance I will see him in a very long time. It seemed he still cared for me since he texted me and was asking about me. He even asked me if I was dating someone. I understand we wont see each other for a long time, but I would like to leave on good terms to maybe make something in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Sorry for the story, but I could really use advice. Please! My ex and I were together for 4 years and we were each others firsts. He broke up with me 7months ago and left me for someone else right away. Well, my ex broke up with the new person and then texted me last week. We talked for a bit via text and everything seemed to be going fine. And then he said he wanted to meet up but then heard I was hooking up with the guy I was seeing before him (which I wasn't). I told him my side of the story and it seemed to go well. We are both leaving college sunday to head home, and I wont see him for another 7months. I sent him 2 messages 2 days ago saying "I would like to meet up, let me know if you want to", but i never got a reply. Then he texted my roommate saying he didnt want to meet up anymore after thinking about it and he will not text me back. What do I do? I want to let it go but I still love him. Do I make a last ditch effort and goto his room and surprise him at the door? Do I write a letter and put it on his car? -Sunday will be the last chance I will see him in a very long time. It seemed he still cared for me since he texted me and was asking about me. He even asked me if I was dating someone. I understand we wont see each other for a long time, but I would like to leave on good terms to maybe make something in the future. so he left you for another girl, and then after their breakup, he contacted you immediately? and you're both going to NOT see each other for many many months....hmmm. you don't think he's just trying to bang you before you both go away for the summer do you? no...couldn't be that. Link to post Share on other sites
budley12 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 i am in almost the same situation! crazy really. I want to send a letter to my ex even though everyone says to do otherwise. I still love him and he reached out to me after months. Hope everything works out. I am thinking of sending my letter, and just end it at that. If something happens it will happen, if not... nothing lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxheartbrokenxx Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 so he left you for another girl, and then after their breakup, he contacted you immediately? and you're both going to NOT see each other for many many months....hmmm. you don't think he's just trying to bang you before you both go away for the summer do you? no...couldn't be that. No, he isn't like that. He just isn't. He wouldn't want to hook up with me to have sex. My roommate actually told me that he was lonely after his new breakup and didn't have any other friends to talk to. (which makes me feel like i was just being used)... but it was still nice hearing from him. I mean if he truly hated me and didnt want nothing to do with me, he wouldnt have contacted me right? As for the letter... I have mine written as well, but am trying to decide whether to give it to him. I know nothing will really come of it, but it wont hurt either. My ex may not even know I still like him how I do... because I have given no indication of it (besides texting him saying I wanted to meet up if he wanted). Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 No, he isn't like that. He just isn't. He wouldn't want to hook up with me to have sex. My roommate actually told me that he was lonely after his new breakup and didn't have any other friends to talk to. (which makes me feel like i was just being used)... but it was still nice hearing from him. I mean if he truly hated me and didnt want nothing to do with me, he wouldnt have contacted me right? As for the letter... I have mine written as well, but am trying to decide whether to give it to him. I know nothing will really come of it, but it wont hurt either. My ex may not even know I still like him how I do... because I have given no indication of it (besides texting him saying I wanted to meet up if he wanted). he isn't like that? and how do you know? did you also believe he wouldn't leave you for another girl because he "isn't like that?" i'm a guy, and just telling you the most likely scenario. also, "if he truly hated me" is irrelevant. no one said he hated you. he just chose to dump you because he wanted to bang some other girl. does him being lonely constitute a valid reason to contact you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxheartbrokenxx Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 he isn't like that? and how do you know? did you also believe he wouldn't leave you for another girl because he "isn't like that?" i'm a guy, and just telling you the most likely scenario. also, "if he truly hated me" is irrelevant. no one said he hated you. he just chose to dump you because he wanted to bang some other girl. does him being lonely constitute a valid reason to contact you? I know that because we lived together for 3 years. He is a good person. I think the started dating the new girl just to get over me. He told me that he couldnt stand dating her, but did it because he wanted someone to get over me with. But he dumped her last week and then wanted to see me, but decided against it because past hurtful feelings came back up Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I know that because we lived together for 3 years. He is a good person. I think the started dating the new girl just to get over me. He told me that he couldnt stand dating her, but did it because he wanted someone to get over me with. But he dumped her last week and then wanted to see me, but decided against it because past hurtful feelings came back up he dumped YOU. why did he need to get over you? he was already over you, that's why he dumped you. and obviously he's going to tell YOU he couldn't stand dating her...and he probably told that girl the same thing about you. why are you putting this dude on a pedestal? either way, clearly put, he LEFT you to DATE another GIRL. why would you even want someone that didn't value you enough to keep you, and that wanted to bang some other girl? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxheartbrokenxx Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 the other person was just a rebound to get over me. He wanted to get over me, and just went with the flow since the other person liked him. He figured it was "the right thing to do" to help get over me quicker and heal. And then I figure as soon as they break up, now he is feeling lonely and down and he is probably truly healing over our breakup now even though it was 6 months ago. That is why I think i should send that letter. To let him know where I still stand. That I am going to move on without him, even though that I still love him. If it's meant to be it will be. I figure sending this letter will just leave the door open for the future if he decides he does me and I still miss him at the time. Granted, we wont see each other for another 7 months so by that time a lot can change. But during his healing time I just want him know where I still stand, and possibly leave something for the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxheartbrokenxx Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 either way, clearly put, he LEFT you to DATE another GIRL. why would you even want someone that didn't value you enough to keep you, and that wanted to bang some other girl? The reason he left me wasnt to bang another girl. It was because he didnt trust me and due to that lack of trust he lost his love. If i hadn't have cheated early on in the relationship it would have never been broken. The reason he dumped me wasnt to bang someone else. It was because a rumor had spread that I cheated again (which I hadn't). He used the new girl to get over me and the hurt from the rumor. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 so it sounds like you've already got all this worked out as far as what you want to do, so maybe i'm misunderstanding what advice you're wanting. do you want someone to agree with you and tell you to do what you're planning? i can certainly do that, and tell you to do what your heart tells you. for your sake i hope that i'm wrong with what i've told you. Link to post Share on other sites
eles83 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 You sound like my heart right now. (my head sounds a bit more like the people responding to you, but it has such a quiet voice). I think everyone sounds like they are giving you what is probably sound advice. As an outsider here, I can tell you that I think you are probably better than to be treated this way. You should probably listen to him. As someone madly in love with their ex, who is probably jumping right into a new relationship a couple of weeks after the end of our five year relationship, I can tell you that I would cast aside all of my self-control and pride and all the sound advice in the world if he called me up and said, I miss you. I would justify it: I would say, I'm already in pain, can it really hurt me anymore to reach out to him and just make sure? I can tell you that I know my ex, and that would make me not want to listen to anyone. I would do what my heart told me. But as someone trying to cope with the semi-immediate impact of the end of a relationship, I will also say - if your pain has lessened from this, where I am right now, if you have found a way to make it feel better... don't do anything that will put you back here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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