Attracted to a man on-line. Never met him. I need opinions of people w/ experience on web dating

[Janet]

I met a guy on the web through the classified add on excite. I just put an add out for fun to see what kind of responses I would get and I ended up writing alot to this one guy from London.

 

We seem to have alot in common and he likes the fact that I am so brutally honest about myself. Sometimes he asks me very these sexy-type questions like, "Do you like looking at yourself in a mirror? What do you like best about your body? If we were going out on a date, just for fun play-acting here, what would you wear, and what would you expect?"

 

At first I didn't feel any sort of attraction to him because I have never seen him before and had never even spoken to him even though he seemed to be attracted to me.

 

Last night he called me and we talked for over an hour. He can be very sexy in a subtle way. I feel more and more of an attraction, but I'm not sure if its just because I am imagining a person I don't really know and have never seen what he looks like, although he gave me a basic description.

 

In your experience if you feel an attraction on-line, what is likely to happen when you meet? I am suspicious of being disappointed or disillusioned because this medium of meeting people is so new and strange.

 

Should we just "cool" the frequency of emails for a while until I get the opportunity to meet him (this sounds trivial, but what if it was some person pretending to be someone else. I doubt it, but with all the stories I've heard you never know)or what?

 

I never thought I could become so interested in a person on-line and am still baffled at why this is so exciting for me.

 

Janet

[Nicky]

I met a guy on the web through the classified add on excite. I just put an add out for fun to see what kind of responses I would get and I ended up writing alot to this one guy from London. We seem to have alot in common and he likes the fact that I am so brutally honest about myself. Sometimes he asks me very these sexy-type questions like, "Do you like looking at yourself in a mirror? What do you like best about your body? If we were going out on a date, just for fun play-acting here, what would you wear, and what would you expect?" At first I didn't feel any sort of attraction to him because I have never seen him before and had never even spoken to him even though he seemed to be attracted to me. Last night he called me and we talked for over an hour. He can be very sexy in a subtle way. I feel more and more of an attraction, but I'm not sure if its just because I am imagining a person I don't really know and have never seen what he looks like, although he gave me a basic description. In your experience if you feel an attraction on-line, what is likely to happen when you meet? I am suspicious of being disappointed or disillusioned because this medium of meeting people is so new and strange. Should we just "cool" the frequency of emails for a while until I get the opportunity to meet him (this sounds trivial, but what if it was some person pretending to be someone else. I doubt it, but with all the stories I've heard you never know)or what? I never thought I could become so interested in a person on-line and am still baffled at why this is so exciting for me. Janet

I wasn't expecting to read what you wrote. Quite often people are somewhat oblivious to the realities of falling for somebody we have never actually met in the flesh, and with whom we cannot really corroborate anything that they tell us.

 

It sounds as if you are more than aware that he might not be all he seems.

 

What do you have to lose? I personally would take it slowly, get to know him. Meet him, why not? I assume that it's no problem for you to get to London.

 

It's like anybody we meet, in a chatroom or otherwise, he may not be all he seem. Only time will tell. Getting to know him in the flesh, and meeting his friends will give you a much better feel. If you don't do this, who knows, you may well be passing by a really good relationship.

 

Good luck!

[Tony T]

In your experience if you feel an attraction on-line, what is likely to happen when you meet?

 

Great excitement, extreme disappointment, general acceptance or total indifference.

 

This boy/girl thing is truly a matter of in person chemistry. I wouldn't dare meet someone without having a picture of them first, myself. Though pictures are almost never accurately represent what a person looks like in real life, I would at least want a far better idea of what they looked like than a concept in my head.

 

I would never carry on a relationship with anyone online unless I met them in a public place within 30 days of the first online contact. There is just too much a person can hide online.

 

I will say with absolute certainty that I am personally aware of many people who have met online who had very successful relationships and even married. I'm quite sure this happens all the time. But there are also nightmares and disappointments as well. That's why it has to be converted from an online experience to an in person experience as soon as possible.

 

There are extremely shy people whose only social life takes place online. There are people with extremely low esteem who feel they are very unattractive that are very nice online and will carry on as long as you let them but put off in person meetings indefinitely. Often they will Email a picture of an attractive friend in lieu of themselves.

 

I think your chances are better than 50 percent that this man is all he says he is. But, even if he has not told you one lie and or very accurately described himself to you, you will not know for sure if there's a physical attraction until you meet him and are around him for a while.

 

Do make sure when you meet him that he introduced you to many of his friends and his family. It's pretty easy for a married man to pull off stuff like this on the net. The pages in LoveShack are filled with these types of experiences.

 

Oh, yes, I do hope London is close to you. If you are having to fly across the sea to meet this bloke, I wouldn't do it. When you search the online dating services, look for people in your proximity. Even if you like this guy, if he lives very far, surely the distance will kill any long term possibilities.

 

Tell him to Email you a picture as soon as possible. There are many places in London that take digital pictures at a very reasonable cost and will deliver them on disk. If he puts the picture thing off more than a few weeks, put him off for a few lifetimes.

[Tony T]

To get an idea of what people think generally about the honesty of online relationships, take the five second survey located on the LoveShack.org homepage, right side, under the heading "Survey Says". You can probably get there by pressing the back button of your browser twice.

 

Register your answer to the question and then you will be shown the results. That question has been up for a very long time. You will find the results very interesting.