dabears0 Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 I was hoping that some of you might be able to give me some insight into my situation... For the most part I've had moderate success with women. However, I don't seem to be attracting that type of women that I really want. And I'm kind of at a loss about what I may doing wrong. I'm a bit uncertain if it's my approach or my personality or even if I'm just not attractive. I feel like a great guy but with no great prospects. It's frustrating. Any tips or suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 With such little info given, I'm not sure how anyone could help. However, I don't seem to be attracting that type of women that I really want. What type of woman do you attract? What kind of woman do you really want? And I'm kind of at a loss about what I may doing wrong. I'm a bit uncertain if it's my approach or my personality or even if I'm just not attractive. What is typically your approach? What is your personality like? Do you groom yourself well? Do you have good hygiene? Link to post Share on other sites
Edition Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 Since you are very vague in your situation, I'll have to assume some things so please forgive me if I read you wrong. What determines "success" with women for you? Scoring some sex, long-term relationship, a fling? If you are sending mixed signals on your intentions for a relationship, that will not work out well for you. As far as your attractiveness is concerned, I am going to say something that is SO CLICHE but when it happens, it'll feel so right. Just be yourself. If you don't know what "yourself" is, do some soul searching and figure out exactly the kind of person you want to be. Take ownership in who you are; this will exude CONFIDENCE to everyone and trust me, that is a very attractive trait. "Fake" men will eventually be exposed and it never lasts, so don't try to go as a far as changing yourself for someone else, but only for yourself. If you feel like you need to shed some pounds by going to the gym, get a new haircut or whatever, do it, but only do it if it feels right to you. It's easy to think that women base everything on looks because that's what men tend to do at first glance, but while it can be an initial factor, it's not everything. The point of self-improvement is doing it for YOURSELF, not for anyone else. If you feel like you are fine the way you are, then work on bringing that out and stick to what you have. Lastly, you mention approach. I tend to think this goes along with just being yourself, but if you feel like you are a high energy person right off the bat and/or your personality would conflict with one another, I would tone it down a little and be sensitive to the woman's personality in the beginning. The #1 thing you want to be is inviting, so make that happen every time. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 i thought this was going to be a thread from William with misogynistic overtones.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dabears0 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Share Posted May 13, 2012 With such little info given, I'm not sure how anyone could help. What type of woman do you attract? What kind of woman do you really want? What is typically your approach? What is your personality like? Do you groom yourself well? Do you have good hygiene? I seem to attract strong, type A women. These women are usually smart and intelligent women which for the most part I meet in my social circle. These women that are attracted to me are not what I would really try to go after as far as looks are concerned. They are not overweight or anything but simply plain. Sometimes, I do give it a shot. But, I find myself disatisfied after a while. Now, it may not be just looks but also a combination of other things such as common interests, hobbies, etc. What I really want is a woman that I am physically attracted to initially. I just can't seem to get the same type of reaction from the women that I find really cute or really attractive. As for my personality, I'm sociable and outgoing. People really seem enjoy being around me and I really enjoy being around people. I smile a lot and laugh a lot. My approach is nothing special. For instance, if I'm at a bar getting a drink and there's an attractive girl next to me, I just smile and say "Hey..how's it going?" Sometimes it works and a great conversation ensues. But, it doesn't really go much further than that after I get the phone number. I'll call or text and just no response. Or sometimes, they just become flakey when they do respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dabears0 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Share Posted May 13, 2012 Since you are very vague in your situation, I'll have to assume some things so please forgive me if I read you wrong. What determines "success" with women for you? Scoring some sex, long-term relationship, a fling? If you are sending mixed signals on your intentions for a relationship, that will not work out well for you. As far as your attractiveness is concerned, I am going to say something that is SO CLICHE but when it happens, it'll feel so right. Just be yourself. If you don't know what "yourself" is, do some soul searching and figure out exactly the kind of person you want to be. Take ownership in who you are; this will exude CONFIDENCE to everyone and trust me, that is a very attractive trait. "Fake" men will eventually be exposed and it never lasts, so don't try to go as a far as changing yourself for someone else, but only for yourself. If you feel like you need to shed some pounds by going to the gym, get a new haircut or whatever, do it, but only do it if it feels right to you. It's easy to think that women base everything on looks because that's what men tend to do at first glance, but while it can be an initial factor, it's not everything. The point of self-improvement is doing it for YOURSELF, not for anyone else. If you feel like you are fine the way you are, then work on bringing that out and stick to what you have. Lastly, you mention approach. I tend to think this goes along with just being yourself, but if you feel like you are a high energy person right off the bat and/or your personality would conflict with one another, I would tone it down a little and be sensitive to the woman's personality in the beginning. The #1 thing you want to be is inviting, so make that happen every time. I feel like I'm pretty confident and comfortable with myself such that I don't come off as fake. Just can't seem to get women that I'm really interested in to reciprocate interest. I will say that I am a pretty high energy individual. Never thought that I may need to tone that down. is being high energy a negative trait? what do you mean by inviting? Link to post Share on other sites
Edition Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Well, eh it's hard to put it into words. Like, you just don't want to come off as abrasive or "too much to handle" right off the bat. Being high energy is fine and it's who you are. Some women like low-key guys, high energy guys, etc etc. As far as reciprocating, you just don't know the situation sometimes. The girl isn't looking for anything, misreads you as a friend instead of something more, other things on her mind, etc etc. Not everyone is going to like who you are, so you can't honestly chalk it up to "something is wrong", unless you see a consistent trend. My advice is that if you believe you are fine as a person and a good guy, etc, then just be consistent with those traits and just keep looking around. Link to post Share on other sites
Tommyboy129 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Your approach is fine. The women are just not attracted to you. It helps if you make yourself desirable before you approach. Consider finding women in a place where you have a lot of power, such as at work or whereever else. Also, work on your looks as much as possible. Hit the gym and get a slimmer body if you don't have one already. I cannot stress this enough. This is one of the most important things to attractive women. important things: good looks. You should be the best-looking man everywhere you go or you should at least have a great-looking body (which most can do with moderate discipline). power. Consider giving off the aura that you are the most powerful person in every room you go into. nice style/clothes/car (money). You should be looking like GQ. confidence/presence. Do your best in whatever you do. Do everything for love (have a good attitude about everything you do) After she is attracted, then be these things: humble nice sweet loving It helps greatly if you have all of the things in the first group or else doing anything in the second group won't get you anywhere. If you have all of these qualities, women will flock to you and you will increase your selection of women to choose from. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Your approach is fine. Its just about how you carry yourself. Be you. Being humble is also a neat trait. And ^^^ is right. This is America. Women love money, cars and all the flash. Me personally, I don't do all that myself. But its just the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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