Left waving the banner and feel all alone

[Minnie]

OK - many issues - one man.... I feel it is all a triangulated mess. We worked together in a wonderful community organization. He left as he was unhappy at work. I see him all the time in town. He is my teen's coach for 6 years now and they are very close as my teen will go into same field in just a few years.

 

How do I deal with being a "parent" when I was a coworker and partner for so long. How do I deal with missing him completely when he really left me along with the company......

 

So I soldiered on and eventually company split and I founded a new department that is completely viable but it seems I do not feel I am doing it for me but really in the spirit that he will come back.....and if not him, then one of our mutual friends that believe in the mission as well.

 

So what do I do. I think I have been the biggest fool. No contact is a mess as I see him with my child/ his student weekly and I seem to have no concept of what I want in the company.....do I even want to continue. Why do I have to work for someone else's dream.

 

Meanwhile the same controlling concerns seem to reenter the dynamics as the admin. director is so interfering. None of our past circle will step near the project and it seems to be dying a slow death.

 

I feel like going to work is like going to a funeral. I feel responsible to turn around what I can but I feel so all alone.

 

Is this normal to be so attached to former director I cannot see straight and miss him beyond words.

 

Want to just run away from this project and am embarrassed to be left behind holding the flag.

 

What to do and how long does one miss a coworker and how to stay dignified with opposite gender person you know so very well now trying to be content community member.

 

Pathetic. Maybe I am just too nostalgic and should cut it all lose and forget him but it was a joy to work on the team and we had so much fun. It is very very sad.[color=blue][/color]

[honey2005]

Is he just a coworker or did you have feelings for him? You shouldn't be left alone to build anyone's dream for them. What about your own? If it was a dream of his and he's decided that he doesn't want a part of it anymore, there's no reason why you should have to stick around and keep building it. Move on to something that honestly makes you happy. It's your life and you need to live it for you, not for someone else. If you're not happy, you need to make some changes so you are. And don't live in the hope that he will come back, continue with your life, and if he does happen to come back, maybe by then you will have learned you can live without him.

[Minnie]

THank you - I will tell you that he was a coworker and I trully fell in love and it was a maternal kind of love that was temporarily wonderful but addictive and in a way I have to look at what i believe the project holds. I still keep him informed on a very distant level but I am beginning to think I should drop that. I know it is love because it hurts so much.

 

He sees my teen every day in school and she is going into his line of work and is very close to him so again. I feel like the aunt and I cannot make the transition to just the distant parent. I miss him.

 

But he is doing well and no need to hover. I think I need to go on and capture my own dreams and do not need any one to hover over or look after more than my own wonderful children I already have.

 

Maybe time would heal everything. I wish I did not have to see him in town so much. It just prolongs the goodbye.

[honey2005]

Maybe you shouldn't stay in contact with him about the business. If he wanted to know so much he would check it himself. Try to keep busy, but do something that you enjoy doing. When you feel better, maybe you will even want to move on and look for someone else to love. I hope you feel better and please keep me posted on how things are going.