I self-sabotage before a relationship even happens

[Pacman]

Long story short.

 

Me and lady = friends with benefits.

Lady tells me shes has feelings for me

I say I don't want anything serious

FWB stops

2 months later shes dating one of my good friends

I realize I do like her (Don't know what you have till it's gone)

Can't do anything about it since he is one of my good friends.

 

Fail.

 

Then I mope around, listening to dashboard for a week or 2 then get motivated to be a better person.

 

Repeat

 

Recycle

 

Anyone else like this? It's like the 3rd time it's happened to me. What am I so scared of? I know I have a lot to offer a woman but sometimes I get the feeling that I'm not good enough. Is it the classic case of you want what you can't have? The chase is better than the catch? Ugh.

 

Good thing Loveshack is here so I can out my feelings. None of my friends can know as that would ruin my friendship with both my friend and ex-fwb

 

EDIT:

In hindsight. She deserves to be someone with who can provide her with something that I can't. A relationship. Shes a great girl, she deserves to be happy.

 

I wonder how long till I get drunk and breakdown and tell one of my friends

Edited May 15, 2012 by Pacman

[january2011]

If you're not ready, then you're not ready.

 

But be honest and tell your partner that you want more but this is hard for you. Ask for patience. Call yourself out when you know you are self-sabotaging.

 

The worst that could happen is that she ends up dating a good friend and you decide that you actually do like her, when it's too late. You've been there and done that.

 

So lean into the discomfort and be open and honest with both your partner and yourself.

[Mr Scorpio]

Could be worse. At least you've gotten the FWBs!