Lucy1722 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Currently seeing someone whom I met while attending 12 step meetings. However things are always on and off again with us which leaves me wondering about dating someone that is not in the program. I hear all the time thats its not good to date another recovering addict because two sickies dont make a well. However dating a woman that doesnt attend meetings is pretty difficult since they resent me spending most evenings attending meetings. So how do I even date someone that doesnt attend meetings?
january2011 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Like every relationship, you go in with your eyes open. Every relationship dynamic is unique. There are upsides and downsides to every relationship, in my opinion. I'd say the only issue with dating someone in the same programme is that you are overlapping two areas of your life that you might want to keep separate. It's almost akin to dating someone you work with. I suggest not ruling out anyone unless the strength of past experience tells you to. So if you're attracted to someone (whether they are in the programme or not), I say, go for it.
wow04 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 How much clean/sober time do you two have? I am a recovering addict dating a recovering addict. Does it present some issues? Yes it does. I have 9 years clean and he has 2 years clean. That in itself can be an issue at times. We have known eachother for 10 years. I have to remember not to take his inventory, and believe me that can be hard at times. He works his program and I work mine. We go to one meeting a week together and each go to a meeting without each other. We have been together for 9 months. It can be done. But, like any other relationship it takes work. Both of you have to remember that your recovery comes first.
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