wmrjw82 Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 That's the question of the day. I'm talking about that girl that EVERYONE takes a second look at when she walks by. The girl that has it going on. The one all guys want to be with. Not just beauty, but warm, funny.... a 10. Now here's me. I consider myself about an 8. Not the best looking guy in the world but I think i'm capable of getting a 10. Once you get to know me, I feel I have a pretty good personality. I'm 5'10'' (so not the tallest), but i'm stocky and broad shoulders with a good build. I'm pretty damn ripped right now and for being 30 years old i'm in the best shape i've been in since I was 21. I've lost a ton of weight. Now... Lets take a gym scenerio... I saw this beautiful absolute 10 today at the gym. This is the kinda girl most would love to take home to the family. Now i'm wondering honestly what this girl is thinking of me when she sees me. Honestly okay, my usual attire at the gym is gym shorts and a wife beater. Are girls thinking i'm cocky for this? I usually look pretty serious and intense at the gym because i'm concentrating on the workout (well mostly). The main reason I wear a wife beater or tank top to the gym is because my shoulders are so broad. Literally. I do lots of cardio and when you're running 3-5 miles and then doing heavy weights you like your shoulders to breathe a little. Anyways, in this day and age you would think it would be pretty common for a woman to approach a man if they're interested. I mean with equal rights, I believe, at an all time high, and perceptions of women in relation to men way different than they used to be (in terms of 50s inferiority complex) it shouldn't be unreasonable that a woman approach a man. But I never get approached. And its not like I never approach women either. But it seems like whenever I do there is this akwardness that just kills any chemistry because i'm usually pretty nervous when doing so. I guess my quesiton is... what is the secret to landing the girl of your dreams? I feel like i'm doing something wrong. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
ls32ssibm Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I've been to a lot of gyms, and guys usually outnumber gals. Guys like you (or me for that matter, and coincidentally I've been described as an 8/10 by a lot of girls I know as well) are a dime-a-dozen. They aren't going to come up to you, I just seriously can't see it happening. Besides, most of them are there to work out, not pick someone up. They can do that anywhere, especially if they are a 10/10... Now, approaching them, you'd have a better chance but they are just as likely to get irritated and shun you. You really have nothing to lose, but just don't be creepy or annoying - take the hint. In terms of getting a "10", it would be lovely to have someone that attractive but personality counts for a lot, don't forget that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Lets take a gym scenerio... I saw this beautiful absolute 10 today at the gym. This is the kinda girl most would love to take home to the family. Now i'm wondering honestly what this girl is thinking of me when she sees me. I'm no 10, but what I am thinking of almost any guy at the gym is basically nothing. I might check them out for a moment - especially the ones who keep peacocking until I satisfy them with a look - but that's about it. Anyways, in this day and age you would think it would be pretty common for a woman to approach a man if they're interested. I mean with equal rights, I believe, at an all time high, and perceptions of women in relation to men way different than they used to be (in terms of 50s inferiority complex) it shouldn't be unreasonable that a woman approach a man. But I never get approached. Most women do not approach men. I don't get the attention that a "10" gets, and even I don't approach men - and hopefully won't ever need to. This has to do with human nature, not equal rights. The man is the hunter, and the woman is the catch. And its not like I never approach women either. But it seems like whenever I do there is this akwardness that just kills any chemistry because i'm usually pretty nervous when doing so. That's your problem. You displaying nervousness tells her you are not sure of yourself, think she's beyond you, and other undesirable suggestions. You need to work on your attitude and confidence. Be fun, upbeat, and laid-back when approaching a woman. If she's interested, she will pick up on your attitude and get on that wavelength with you. See the current alpha male thread for ideas. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I feel like i'm doing something wrong. 1. Be respectful 2. Be funny 3. Be attentive 4. Be friendly 5. Be yourself If someone has the good fortune to be born good looking, that's all it is - good luck. They will have much the same bits as an average looker. The anatomy is much the same. So be pleased by what you see, but don't make too big a deal out of it. Don't treat them like a freak - that's rude, after all. Now the mind and soul; that's where it's at. If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 The only true way to land a "10" is to be a "10" in her eyes too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wmrjw82 Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 so i'm taking from the respones that women don't necessarily like being picked up at the gym? I mean, does it bug you as opposed to other settings? Just seems like it would be an ideal place for adults to mingle and meet while they get healthier! Opinions from women are much appreciated here... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 so i'm taking from the respones that women don't necessarily like being picked up at the gym? I mean, does it bug you as opposed to other settings? Just seems like it would be an ideal place for adults to mingle and meet while they get healthier! Opinions from women are much appreciated here... For me, going to the gym was ME time, not to mingle and meet others. I hated getting hit-on when I was trying to have quiet, introspective healthy time. Yes, it really bugged the heck outta me when I was approached and never, ever considered anyone who was trawling in that setting. It seemed really obvious and skanky in that's the only reason they were there... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I have a buddy that is a straight six looks wise. Funky belly and all. He consistently does just fine because he acts LIKE HIMSELF. He has a warm attitude, good jokes, PAYS ATTENTION when people speak to him etc. He's a good man. What more could a ten ask for? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Well, first off, girls that are hot do not generally approach men. They don't have to. They have plenty of men approaching them, and they can basically have their pick. The secret to landing an attractive woman is to be attractive yourself and show confidence, charm, and have an interesting life to pike her interest. If you don't have those things going for you, you are probably out of luck if you are going to set your sights that high. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 That's the question of the day. I'm talking about that girl that EVERYONE takes a second look at when she walks by. The girl that has it going on. The one all guys want to be with. Not just beauty, but warm, funny.... a 10. Now here's me. I consider myself about an 8. Not the best looking guy in the world but I think i'm capable of getting a 10. Once you get to know me, I feel I have a pretty good personality. I'm 5'10'' (so not the tallest), but i'm stocky and broad shoulders with a good build. I'm pretty damn ripped right now and for being 30 years old i'm in the best shape i've been in since I was 21. I've lost a ton of weight. Now... Lets take a gym scenerio... I saw this beautiful absolute 10 today at the gym. This is the kinda girl most would love to take home to the family. Now i'm wondering honestly what this girl is thinking of me when she sees me. Honestly okay, my usual attire at the gym is gym shorts and a wife beater. Are girls thinking i'm cocky for this? I usually look pretty serious and intense at the gym because i'm concentrating on the workout (well mostly). The main reason I wear a wife beater or tank top to the gym is because my shoulders are so broad. Literally. I do lots of cardio and when you're running 3-5 miles and then doing heavy weights you like your shoulders to breathe a little. Anyways, in this day and age you would think it would be pretty common for a woman to approach a man if they're interested. I mean with equal rights, I believe, at an all time high, and perceptions of women in relation to men way different than they used to be (in terms of 50s inferiority complex) it shouldn't be unreasonable that a woman approach a man. But I never get approached. And its not like I never approach women either. But it seems like whenever I do there is this akwardness that just kills any chemistry because i'm usually pretty nervous when doing so. I guess my quesiton is... what is the secret to landing the girl of your dreams? I feel like i'm doing something wrong. Please help. Honestly, don't even bother. Find a 7 or 8 and rip her to shreds. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 What's the secret to landing a "10"? Depends.. for many it is Chloroform and Duct Tape others it is just good self esteem and confidence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I am disturbed when people talk about things like "landing a 10." If you are interested in a girl, and you think she's a 10, that's one thing. But just categorizing girls, figuring out which ones fall into that slot, and then trying to "land" one … it does not sound like you will have very promising results, nor will your "catch." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I am disturbed when people talk about things like "landing a 10." If you are interested in a girl, and you think she's a 10, that's one thing. But just categorizing girls, figuring out which ones fall into that slot, and then trying to "land" one … it does not sound like you will have very promising results, nor will your "catch." The scary part is they don't seem to care about anything else other than she is a 10. They know nothing about her and don't seem to care. Every time i read on of these posts i imagine the poster to be an average guy in life but with very poor self esteem and thinks that by landing a 10 somehow all his problems in life will be solved and he will be the BMOC and every one will think he is all that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Work on your low self esteem and think about finding someone who is compatible with you as a person. I don't know what level I am you can see my avatar photo. unlike guys, we just aren't thinking about men, or dating, or hooking up all that much. the gym is a place to relax and work on fitness, not to hook up. it is very very annoying to be hit on at a gym. why do you think woman only gyms were created? at any time and anywhere i can be having a conversation with another woman and there is always some guy coming up trying to talk to me, trying to be funny or clever or whatever. they are annoying. at first they get sorry but this is a private conversation and a cold look but if they keep it up then they get told off. i have been at the airport saying goodbye to a loved one and some idiot comes up trying to hit on me and ruin the moment. if you think a 10 is going to come up to you and start talking and ask you out, that will never ever happen. i will tell you that no woman whether a negative 10 or a 10 ++ ever wants to be talked about or thought of the way you opened in the first post. We are human beings not things or objects like an iphone or car. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 The secret to being with a "10"...? Be a "10." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Seneca Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Well I know of a guy who is overweight, not rich, in his 30's and he gets 10's. The guy is hilarious and has a lot of confidence... For me I'm a 10+++ got a wicked sense of humor I have 10's chasing me all of the time (women and men. although I prefer women only). Depending on my mood I'll sometimes let the ladies grab my ass. Link to post Share on other sites
mario_C Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) How do you land a "10"? Be one. OK someone else said it too, but it needs repeating... Edited June 30, 2012 by mario_C Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 That's the question of the day. I mean with equal rights, I believe, at an all time high, and perceptions of women in relation to men way different than they used to be (in terms of 50s inferiority complex) it shouldn't be unreasonable that a woman approach a man. But I never get approached. And its not like I never approach women either. But it seems like whenever I do there is this akwardness that just kills any chemistry because i'm usually pretty nervous when doing so. I guess my quesiton is... what is the secret to landing the girl of your dreams? I feel like i'm doing something wrong. Please help. The secret is to have basic communication skills and normal level of emotional intelligence. All details that you listed about yourself are irrelevant in terms of picking girls including equal human rights, your looks and outfits. You focused on yourself and you see the girl as a number. So, she sees a guy who is self-absorbed and focused on minor irrelevant details about himself and who sees her just as a number. Also, she cannot even imagine that the guy expects her to approach him first. There are too many girls of your dreams. So, you have to approach every one of them untill you win. You should use your brain to figure out how to make your communication skills good enough to present yourself as an adequate and normal person. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 so i'm taking from the respones that women don't necessarily like being picked up at the gym? I mean, does it bug you as opposed to other settings? Just seems like it would be an ideal place for adults to mingle and meet while they get healthier! Opinions from women are much appreciated here... When I went to gym, I loved picking up men. But, they approached me themselves. And, it takes more then one effort. Link to post Share on other sites
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