I became an Alpha Male and found the love of my life

[macardent]

Sorry. Not buying it. You can't change who you are.

 

Glad you found happiness op. But how long can you keep up the charade? You already said it's hard work. What happens when you tire out and the REAL you comes out?

 

You wonder why so many people complain that the person they married isn't the person they met or once knew? Now you know why.

 

Too many people on this planet to have to fake being someone else. I'm as happy as can be with my wife of ten years and I never ONCE sacrificed who I was to get her...and the same for her. We look at each other and we see the exact same two people we fell in love with from the very beginning.

 

Now don't get me wrong. I know that people should always strive to better themselves...but you have to draw the line somewhere and from the op's original post, it sounds like his changes are pretty drastic from what he is naturally inclined to do or be. Like an introvert trying to be an extrovert. Not gonna happen. Just find someone who loves you for YOU.

 

I guess it comes down to changing your thoughts and how you see yourself.

 

I strive to be an alpha male. Not to impress women but for myself. I let people use me as a doormat most of my life. I let other -trying to be alpha male- made fun of me and let them get away with it and laughed with them.

 

But truly if somebody is in love with you because you are wuss and let people take advantage of you then they will realize it one day and will take advantage of you just like the rest of the world.

 

I wouldn't want a woman to be with me because I am weak. I want her to be with me because I can take care of her weaknesses.

 

Being an Alpha male will get you a better job, better success in life and a healthy love life.

[Dblock10]

I guess it comes down to changing your thoughts and how you see yourself.

 

I strive to be an alpha male. Not to impress women but for myself. I let people use me as a doormat most of my life. I let other -trying to be alpha male- made fun of me and let them get away with it and laughed with them.

 

But truly if somebody is in love with you because you are wuss and let people take advantage of you then they will realize it one day and will take advantage of you just like the rest of the world.

 

I wouldn't want a woman to be with me because I am weak. I want her to be with me because I can take care of her weaknesses.

 

Being an Alpha male will get you a better job, better success in life and a healthy love life.

 

agreed.

 

well just time to change your ways.. don't let people walk over you!

[xisnotx]

I became an Alpha Male

No, you didn't.

I started reading various books on how to be an alpha male

Here's why.

I finally found my my soul mate

I'm happy for you.

All it took was a new personality.

Another reason why.

It takes a while to truly understand what an alpha male actually is

No, it doesn't.

It has nothing to do with being a jerk.

Duh.

It doesn't mean you always get your way.

It means you never get your way.

(However, one side benefit is that you get all the sex you want.)

False. Unless she's beta.

 

Here's my definition: an alpha male is a man who is engaged in life.

Again, false.

Life/death, living a certain way, has nothing to do with it.

 

Woman: What do you want to do for lunch?

Nice guy: Anything you want to do is fine with me.

If you're alpha, you can make this work.

 

 

Alpha male: We should grab some lunch. I've been thinking about tacos all morning. Do you want to go to Los Favoritas?

Woman: Sure, that sounds great!

One way, yes

Now he owns her.

This is another reason why.

Seriously, it's that simple.

Nothing is ever simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy.

Being beta, omega isn't easy either.

You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting

lol, laughably false.

It's almost the neat definition of what a beta is.

 

If she hates it, you've become a jerk. Neither one is an alpha male.

Both actually are. You are correct.

So you not only have to make all the decisions, you have to make them correctly.

You don't make all the decisions. You make hardly any.

 

You drive. You hold the door. You hold the tickets. You make sure she's warm enough. If she loses her keys, you help her find them. Her well-being is your responsibility.

Some true, some false. It's not about that.

 

because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

Again false...depending on who "she" is.

 

 

I'm getting really tired of all this alpha talk. I'm beta, that I'll admit to. But the understanding of what an alpha is, is so skewed.

 

The best thing about being beta is that it's extremely easy to spot the other betas.

Edited July 20, 2012 by xisnotx

[Robert Z]

I can completely appreciate the concept here and there is a lot of truth in it. I learned a long time ago that the best way to take over a meeting is to just do it! And it is far easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Being a leader often just means taking the initiative, and so one. All true. And timid people usually remain that way. Politeness and shyness generally result in a life unnoticed.

 

However, when Alpha male meets the female domistication gene, alpha generally goes beta in order to prevent WWIII and a nuclear holocaust. What works for dating and what works for marriage may have nothing to do with each other. So to me, none of this means anything until you've been married for a while. For all that I know she could be playing you like a fiddle.

[M30USA]

Don't bother becoming an alpha male. All that happens is women are more attracted to you, but you gain nothing else. In fact, there are probably more drawbacks to being an alpha male than benefits.

[ascendotum]

However, when Alpha male meets the female domistication gene, alpha generally goes beta in order to prevent WWIII and a nuclear holocaust. What works for dating and what works for marriage may have nothing to do with each other. So to me, none of this means anything until you've been married for a while. For all that I know she could be playing you like a fiddle.

 

I have to admit I have noticed this with some of the alpha guys I know. Big difference beween them when they are out with the lads or at work, and then at home with the missus. (Its with the white collar guys rather then the blue collar men)

[Forever Silent]

Once upon a time I was a nice guy, and it brought me a dozen failed relationships and LOTS of dry spells. So I decided to figure out why. I started reading various books on how to be an alpha male, and it completely changed my world. I finally found my my soul mate, we recently got engaged, and for the first time in my life, I KNOW I will be happily married forever.

 

All it took was a new personality.

 

It takes a while to truly understand what an alpha male actually is, and perhaps more important, what it is not. It has nothing to do with being a jerk. It's not being bossy or controlling. It doesn't mean you always get your way. (However, one side benefit is that you get all the sex you want.)

 

Here's my definition: an alpha male is a man who is engaged in life. He lives his day-to-day life actively and purposefully. He takes the effort to decide what he wants to do, and he proposes that plan to his woman. Amazingly, if you have found the right woman, she will go along enthusiastically and fall deeper in love each time.

 

Here's a sample conversation between a "nice guy" and his woman. Notice that the woman has to initiate the conversation:

Woman: What do you want to do for lunch?

Nice guy: Anything you want to do is fine with me.

The nice guy thinks he's winning brownie points by letting her decide, but the woman is irritated because he obviously doesn't care about her. He will not get laid tonight.

 

Here's a sample conversation between an alpha male and his woman.

Alpha male: We should grab some lunch. I've been thinking about tacos all morning. Do you want to go to Los Favoritas?

Woman: Sure, that sounds great!

The alpha male just scored huge points for being engaged in life. Now he owns her. She is his play toy for the rest of the day. Seriously, it's that simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy. You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting, and you CANNOT take a break. You need a plan for dinner (what restaurant, or what she should cook), exercise, evening entertainment (even if it's just snuggling on the couch and watching the TV show you pick), the weekend, vacations, and so on.

 

You MUST consider her needs, limitations, wants, likes, and dislikes in every decision. If she hates Mexican food, you might need to find a restaurant that has good Mexican dishes for you and good American food for her. You must choose something that makes you both happy. If you hate it, you've reverted to a nice guy. If she hates it, you've become a jerk. Neither one is an alpha male. So you not only have to make all the decisions, you have to make them correctly.

 

And there are other things. You have to take care of her. You drive. You hold the door. You hold the tickets. You make sure she's warm enough. If she loses her keys, you help her find them. Her well-being is your responsibility.

 

It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

 

 

While I am happy for you regarding your recent engagement. I cannot help but think that this post is mired in a deep sense of hypocrisy and irony.