Turn 30 in 2 weeks, havent accomplished anything.

[DudeMan27]

Hello all. I just need to vent as most do on here. I feel, well I know I havent really accomplished anyhting in my life. And have no clue what I even want to accomplish. Here i am about to turn 30, I really don't have any more, I havent dated anyone in 3 years and I struggle to find a single person I went to school with who isnt more succesful than me.

 

My family helped me all the way thru college, I could have done anything, but I went with a business degree and am finding out I could have done much much more. My father passed away 4 years ago and left me money, well at the same time my uncle retired and put his house up for sale which my mother talked me into buying. To this day, she still has to help me with bills. 4 years later I never made enough money to live on my own basically. A few months ago I got into some trouble and got my license suspended, and in thru had to quit my job which was a 30 minute drive away. So here I sit, almost 30, no money, no job, need my mom to help pay my bills, havent met a girl in a long long time, and am watching every one of my friends married with kids, or about to get married and getting great jobs.

 

I know part of my problem is Im way, way too down on myself. I've noticed in these past 6 weeks I've been out of work, I wake up every morning and critisize myself. Either for sleeping later than I wanted, or not working hard enough the day before to job search, or not using this time off to get into better shape.

 

Also every day, i vow to just for one day, try and be positive. Try and be in a good mood, and something discourages me and it doesnt work out. I vow to start turning my life around, then i have no idea how to do it and get sad. I really need to see a doctor I think but right now i have no insurance. I absolutely hated the job I used to have, but at least I had a job even tho at 29, have yet to make over 21,000 a year. A bigger city is just an hour away with way more job opportunities, and one day I'm all gung ho about finding a job up there and moving, then the next day I think just how much more alone I will be than I am now. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm in such a deep hole that I can't dig my way out.

 

I barely see any of my friends anymore, have nowhere to go to meet anyone new in this town and destoryed my last relationship which I would have had a great life with that girl and her family. I never thought 3 years later I'd way way worse off when we broke up. Most people make a big deal out of their 30th birthday. When I was working, I had a weeks vacation scheduled. Only problem was, I had nowhere to go and noone to go with. Now my bday will be comming up, I'll probably have no where to go but sit in a bar, no money really, and no real reason to celebrate. Ive tried and I've tried to turn it around, but always hit a snag and just come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[wow04]

First off you have to stop putting yourself down. It won't get you anywhere.

 

Do you have your license now? Are you looking for employment?

 

Set goals and stick to them.

[Almond_Joy]

If you want to work in the city and you don't drive, is there public transportation in your area that goes into the city? You can commute that way.

 

Are you exercising? Improving your self-image physically can help just as much as it can mentally.

 

Maybe you should get evaluated for clinical depression if your dissapointment with yourself is so debilitating. Also, check for licensed social workers in your area if you want therapy and can't afford a psychologist/psychiatrist. A lot of them are just as competent in counseling, and you pay alot less money to see them. If you don't want to spend any money at all, call a toll free depression hotline. They may be able to point you to viable solutinos to overcome this.

 

Also, I recommend you stop dwelling on your past. You can't do anything about it now. Accept your realizations as lessons learned and move forward in working toward the things you want to achieve. Regretting the past wastes energy that can be spent building your future, you know .

 

Good luck.

[Ross MwcFan]

Sounds to me like you've accomplished a lot, you've been through college (and got a degree?), and you've had girlfriends.

 

I'd definatley give anything for the latter anyway (I'm 36).

[wierdmunky]

I'm 30, and still am working on a degree! I would say you accomplished a lot. I think your in a slump since the suspension thing, and are focused too much on the negative, but if you wrote a list of all the positives, or things you have accomplished you would get a better perspective. I did that on a day where I felt rock bottom, and it was a tiny step. The accomplishments felt like 1/2 a baby step to friends who had graduated with law degrees before me. It gave me insight on where I wanted to improve myself next, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

[january2011]

if you wrote a list of all the positives, or things you have accomplished you would get a better perspective

 

Seconded. Write down all the things that you are grateful for. If you can't do it every day, do it every week. After a month, review it and realise that so many great things happened during that month. Keep going. Even little things like, "X smiled at you today" or "Y said you were great at Z" or "Found a 10 dollar bill lying on the ground."

 

From what I remember, there have been studies showing that this technique does work to make people happier.

 

I also agree with doing more exercise as well as eating more healthily (stay away from processed as try to prepare from scratch with fresh ingredients) - you'd be surprised how much food can affect how you feel.

 

Try to get enough sleep and at a decent time.

 

When your mood improves, start making and working on your plans towards your goals so that you get the life that you want. Your first priority is to have some money coming in - even an entry-level job is good start. Then once you can drive again, talk to your old company and see if you can get your job back.

[Eddie Edirol]

Ha! 30? I WISH I was worried about getting my act together at 30. I didnt get my shyt somewhat together until 39. I just graduated last August, and I just now got my resume to a point where I'm getting callbacks for a decent job. I still have to start from the bottom. It will still be a couple years before I can buy a house.

 

So long as youre aware at 30, youre waaay ahead of me.

[JesseJames]

Well, life is going to start speeding up now. It doesn't matter if you're sitting idle with nothing or living like a madman.... she's gonna fly by.

 

You've been warned. Act accordingly.

[TaraMaiden]

Well, life is going to start speeding up now. It doesn't matter if you're sitting idle with nothing or living like a madman.... she's gonna fly by.

 

You've been warned. Act accordingly.

 

Oh lordy...QFT.

 

At 55, I can confirm.

[CopingGal]

Hello all. I just need to vent as most do on here. I feel, well I know I havent really accomplished anyhting in my life. And have no clue what I even want to accomplish. Here i am about to turn 30, I really don't have any more, I havent dated anyone in 3 years and I struggle to find a single person I went to school with who isnt more succesful than me.

 

My family helped me all the way thru college, I could have done anything, but I went with a business degree and am finding out I could have done much much more. My father passed away 4 years ago and left me money, well at the same time my uncle retired and put his house up for sale which my mother talked me into buying. To this day, she still has to help me with bills. 4 years later I never made enough money to live on my own basically. A few months ago I got into some trouble and got my license suspended, and in thru had to quit my job which was a 30 minute drive away. So here I sit, almost 30, no money, no job, need my mom to help pay my bills, havent met a girl in a long long time, and am watching every one of my friends married with kids, or about to get married and getting great jobs.

 

I know part of my problem is Im way, way too down on myself. I've noticed in these past 6 weeks I've been out of work, I wake up every morning and critisize myself. Either for sleeping later than I wanted, or not working hard enough the day before to job search, or not using this time off to get into better shape.

 

Also every day, i vow to just for one day, try and be positive. Try and be in a good mood, and something discourages me and it doesnt work out. I vow to start turning my life around, then i have no idea how to do it and get sad. I really need to see a doctor I think but right now i have no insurance. I absolutely hated the job I used to have, but at least I had a job even tho at 29, have yet to make over 21,000 a year. A bigger city is just an hour away with way more job opportunities, and one day I'm all gung ho about finding a job up there and moving, then the next day I think just how much more alone I will be than I am now. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm in such a deep hole that I can't dig my way out.

 

I barely see any of my friends anymore, have nowhere to go to meet anyone new in this town and destoryed my last relationship which I would have had a great life with that girl and her family. I never thought 3 years later I'd way way worse off when we broke up. Most people make a big deal out of their 30th birthday. When I was working, I had a weeks vacation scheduled. Only problem was, I had nowhere to go and noone to go with. Now my bday will be comming up, I'll probably have no where to go but sit in a bar, no money really, and no real reason to celebrate. Ive tried and I've tried to turn it around, but always hit a snag and just come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

I don't drive and I'm STUCK in a hick town where nothing ever happens. I've been here for years. My birthday is coming up too. I'm in my late 40's (gee, it hurts to write that). I've got no job, no money, no health insurance, no boyfiriend, no place of my own...nothing really. My boyfriend cheated on me with an old hag. I'm taking graduate classes though and I do a lot of charity work. I've got almost no friends, but I do have one good friend. That's a plus. But I'm lonely and lost and I feel like crap. I just keep going....keep putting one foot in front of the other. what else can I do? I do a lot of humanitarian projects. That helps my self-esteem.

[fetish1980]

I tend to be the same way as you Dudeman. I'm in my early 30s and suffer from depression. I find myself thinkjing about the past often and miss the way things used to be. In the mean time, i'm missing out on some really awesome times in my current life. Some techniques that i've tried and found that have helped are:

 

1) Try to focus on the positives, even if you have to write it down, just pick one thing that you're grateful for. Friends, family, degree?

2) Meditation-Allow yourself a few minutes out of the day to just relax your body and do some breathing techniques to allow oxygen to thoroughly flow through your body.

3) Read self help books: Self esteem, positive thinking, goal setting, etc.

4) Exercise- probably the best thing you can do which enhances self confidence and ro relieve stress. Also eating healthy to add to that.

5) Hobbies- take up a new hobby or one that you have and been putting off for years. Write that book, start those cooking lessons, start learning that new instrument, or even start that business!

6) Get plenty of rest. Part of feeling rejuvenated throughout the day has to do with allowing your body to get its rest. It works wonders, trust me.

 

BTW, sorry to hear of your father's passing.

 

fetish

[pink_sugar]

Don't be too hard on yourself. My husband is turning 29 this year and will be almost 30 when he gets his bachelors in business. He also has little job experience other than extensive retail job experience. I know it bothers him to have taken so long, but better late than never. I think that's an accomplishment. According to statistics, only 30-50% of people have a college education. Pick yourself up, maybe see a counselor, look for a job in which you can use public transit. I'm 23 with no car and take the bus to my job. You can get around without a license if you live in a suburban area. Work on getting your license back in the meantime and aim for a job you'd like and are qualified for. Just like I tell my husband, that attitude won't get you anywhere. You have a 4 year degree which is more than many other people. Get involved in hobbies where you can meet and make new friends. Actually your situation sounds a lot like my H's who's father also passed away and you are about the same age.