I don't even know his name

[housebunny]

Hi I'm new this to , I will try and be brief.

 

I go to the gym everyday, and I just noticed a couple of months ago that a guy that I thought was attractive goes there at the same times that I do.

 

I usually walk or run on the track and then lift weights, go and get my daughter and she takes a lap or two on the track, which always gets people talking to me.

 

A couple days when I brought up my daughter to the track [the workout machines are in between] this guy noticed us walking [or maybe he had for a while, I'm not sure], and he smiled at her and then at me, and I thought, 'O he seems nice' and that's about it. After that, we have made eye contact on several more occassions, in a kind of uncomfortably long way, but not enough to say he's a creep, but making me wonder if he is attracted to me [i am to him]. I always notice he is looking at me but then turns away. Yesterday he was walking on the track with a friend talking and I was also walking without my daughter, and I ended up getting stuck behind him because I was stopping every now and then to look at how my daughter was doing downstairs, which took time. He had been looking back at me when I stopped [i was turned away kind of, I could see him otu of the corner of my eye] I had noticed him looking at me coming out of the bathroom, with my daughter. I went down to the weight area to do some squats and by circumstance he was at the machine directly across from me, and when I did my squats he looked extremely nervous, fidgeting, etc.

 

Today he smiled and nodded at me, I had just come inside from a run. I didn't even know he was there but somehow I keep bumping into him.

 

This whole thing is driving me crazy. I can't tell if he is just nice or actually likes me, and if he is just being nice, than if I look like the creep. If he does like me, is he going to talk to me eventually or what? Even as acquaintances, etc?

 

I don't want to come off as a stalker, and I am not trying to do anything strange, we just happen to work out at the same time. I even went outside today...

 

I'm not the kind to go up to someone first, and I won't. We have never talked.

 

All I know is that no one else in the gym eyes me that much except for this older gentleman who is always telling me to smile. I would just go outside if they didn't have weights at the gym.

[oldshirt]

 

 

 

I'm not the kind to go up to someone first, and I won't.

 

 

This kind of attitude and limit that you place on yourself is going to cripple you and hold you back in more areas of your life than any other single thing.

 

You don't have to proposition him or get into his business, just acknowledge him as a human being and have some basic human interaction. It can all start by just saying, "hi, how is your workout going today?"

 

From there anything is possible. If everyone keeps themselves all wrapped up in their own little bubble then nothing is possible.

 

Now to address your situation. I know exactly where you are coming from as I take kids to the gym and walk with them on the track as well so I am envisioning this perfectly. The good news is you have the perfect opportunity to at least talk to him.

 

As a guy, I am hesitant to approach women in the gym because I dont want to come off as a stalker or a creeper and i don't want to interfer with anyone's workout if they dont want to be bothered.

 

You haven't mentioned if you are married or single and on the market or not but if I see a woman with young children I assume she is happily married in the first place and even if I were to suspect she was single I especially don't want to seem like a creeper if she has kids with her.

 

I think you need to give a more clear cut green-light signal here. If you see him at least say hi and ask him how his day is going. If he is interested and isn't pathologically shy and has at least rudimentary social skills he will take the ball and run with it at that point.

 

He is probably a decent guy who doesn't go around hitting on random women in the gym and creeping on women with small children. Making eye contact and saying hi and asking him a real simple question will be the green light he is probably waiting for and it will open the door to continued conversation.

 

If you say hi, then you are no longer just a random woman and you are giving him permission to speak to you even though you are in the gym with your child.

 

Quit being a pussy and just hi. Saying hi is not hitting on someone and it is not asking him to marry you or take you to bed or to change the oil in your car. It is just making a little polite human interaction.