no_clue Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I cant seem to ever get a girlfriend. Im capable of attracting some beautiful girls but it n ever lasts. I live in a new town the place i used to live was my comfort zone i had friends, girls to hang out with, oppurtunities to meet girls, a reputation. Even in my hometown i couldnt get a girlfriend mainly because im super nervous around girls ive noticed everytime a pretty girl is around i act different i might be a little more clumsy and drop something or stumble, i cant even talk to hold a conversation as opposed to an unattractive girl or a man which i have no problem. Im starting to think god hates me cause the only thing i ask for is a girlfriend i keep thinking of the so many girls that liked me that i just ****ed it all up cause im a nervous wreck. A girl will like me then i cant think of anything to say on text or the phone and they get bored of me i guess. I have a couple "friends" here but i dont even try to hang out with them they dont fit my lifestyle and they think theyre billy badasses. I dont know what im on here trying to say i guess im asking for advice or help, my dads old fashioned weve never talked about girls or sex really and my mom doesnt think i need to be messing with girls at all ,she is from another country. Im tempted to see a shrink but i dont have the money. Oh yeah n the only thing that lowers my inhibitions n helps me talk freely to girls is Xanax but i cant get that here i dont want it anyway id rather be able to talk to them without it, someone please guide me in the right direction its starting to make me me want to cry but i havent cried yet Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 It's natural to be nervous around girls you like, though of course there are always some guys who are confident in any situation. But, the majority aren't like that. I think I started feeling less nervous around people, and in particular attractive people, once I realised that the packaging doesn't make the person. If you think about what qualities you'd like in a girl (apart from being stunningly attractive) and then compare your list with the way a girl behaves, you will find that beautiful people are no more attractive on the inside than anyone else. I ask myself: is he interesting to talk to or do I just think that he must be because he looks good? Is he respectful, has he got good manners? Does he smell nice as well as look good? Does he know how to treat people? All these things matter and it's easy to overlook failures in good-looking people and not realise one is giving them an unjustified higher rating. Once you start to assess people in a way that is not based on their looks, you might find it easier to cope with people. I tend to imagine the outside is a shell, what's inside is what really matters. Do I feel comfortable with him? do I enjoy his company? Is he kind to me? If necessary, rate people according to your qualities list. You might find it easier to talk to those attractive women once you stop being blinded by looks. Link to post Share on other sites
olivec Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I cant seem to ever get a girlfriend. Im capable of attracting some beautiful girls but it n ever lasts. I live in a new town the place i used to live was my comfort zone i had friends, girls to hang out with, oppurtunities to meet girls, a reputation. Even in my hometown i couldnt get a girlfriend mainly because im super nervous around girls ive noticed everytime a pretty girl is around i act different i might be a little more clumsy and drop something or stumble, i cant even talk to hold a conversation as opposed to an unattractive girl or a man which i have no problem. Im starting to think god hates me cause the only thing i ask for is a girlfriend i keep thinking of the so many girls that liked me that i just ****ed it all up cause im a nervous wreck. A girl will like me then i cant think of anything to say on text or the phone and they get bored of me i guess. I have a couple "friends" here but i dont even try to hang out with them they dont fit my lifestyle and they think theyre billy badasses. I dont know what im on here trying to say i guess im asking for advice or help, my dads old fashioned weve never talked about girls or sex really and my mom doesnt think i need to be messing with girls at all ,she is from another country. Im tempted to see a shrink but i dont have the money. Oh yeah n the only thing that lowers my inhibitions n helps me talk freely to girls is Xanax but i cant get that here i dont want it anyway id rather be able to talk to them without it, someone please guide me in the right direction its starting to make me me want to cry but i havent cried yet honestly i was like that when i was younger and in my early 20's. now that i'm in my 30s i dont give a crap and its not the end of the world if a woman rejects ya. so keep that in mind when talking to a girl and just relax and be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 If it's any consolation, I'm 36 and I've never attracted a woman offline before. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I could say I am in the lone club too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author no_clue Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 Its not necessarily just cause theyre good looking all the time, im just antisocial but social at the same time i mean once a girl is interested and i really get to know her i can talk for days. I remember when i was in 6th grade i could talk to girls for hours on the phome then a couple years later i couldnt so much, i hate being shy im the type that doesnt say a word til u say something to me. I hate being in a large group like in a professional setting i dont like staring at people or them at me so im kinda always looking at the wall or something and i feel like people judge me to much. At least im not the only loner out there im sure its just a matter of time and your absoluetly right what should it matter if they reject you i still cant muster up the courage though Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I cant seem to ever get a girlfriend. Im capable of attracting some beautiful girls but it n ever lasts. I live in a new town the place i used to live was my comfort zone i had friends, girls to hang out with, oppurtunities to meet girls, a reputation. Even in my hometown i couldnt get a girlfriend mainly because im super nervous around girls ive noticed everytime a pretty girl is around i act different i might be a little more clumsy and drop something or stumble, i cant even talk to hold a conversation as opposed to an unattractive girl or a man which i have no problem. Im starting to think god hates me cause the only thing i ask for is a girlfriend i keep thinking of the so many girls that liked me that i just ****ed it all up cause im a nervous wreck. A girl will like me then i cant think of anything to say on text or the phone and they get bored of me i guess. I have a couple "friends" here but i dont even try to hang out with them they dont fit my lifestyle and they think theyre billy badasses. I dont know what im on here trying to say i guess im asking for advice or help, my dads old fashioned weve never talked about girls or sex really and my mom doesnt think i need to be messing with girls at all ,she is from another country. Im tempted to see a shrink but i dont have the money. Oh yeah n the only thing that lowers my inhibitions n helps me talk freely to girls is Xanax but i cant get that here i dont want it anyway id rather be able to talk to them without it, someone please guide me in the right direction its starting to make me me want to cry but i havent cried yet I'm lonely too but I dont feel nervous when talking to girls. Well maybe a tiny bit but not enough to stop me, right? I wanna girlfriend badly but I'm struggling with finding one interested in me the same as me to her and its really really tough out here u know. I think u need to stop being nervous. I dont know why u are its kinda weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Author no_clue Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 I cant stop being nervous its subconscience thats why i used to take alot of xanax valium and klonopin it helped me not care and id appreciate it if u didnt call me weird everyones weird in their own way pal Link to post Share on other sites
Author no_clue Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 I just had sex with some random girl yesterday probably a one night stand and i still feel lonely as hell 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 LoL Random?? Yeah its a one nighter! You're looking for a relationship! Not one of those! but good going though! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts