carla71 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 My ex fiance (we were together for 7 years) cheated on me and now the woman is pregnant. I found out in the most callous and cruel way. He has now moved back to his mother's home. He still says he loves me and has lost everything that mattered to him most. He says he didnt want her to carry on with the pregnancy but she wants to keep the baby. It all hurts so much! We lost our own baby 2 years ago. She had Edward's syndrome and passed away. I keep her ashes in an urn next to my bed. I still love him and wish this whole thing was a nightmare I could wake up from. We've been through so much together. He already has a child from a relationship before we met that I accepted. But this???? I will not be able to handle. So I know breaking up is the only option. I should hate him and sometimes I get angry but I don't feel hate. I think it would be easier if I did. He is 35 with no job, or money at the moment. He is now having a child with someone he says he does not love. He has had to move back in with his mother. He's a total wreck so why do I still love him. I wish I never met him or that I could hit my head on a rock and just forget I ever knew him, so this pain would just go away. I say I found about the pregnancy and affair in a cruel way because the OW came to our home to tell me on the anniversary of our baby's passing. He says she did this on purpose as he had told her all about our history. Are people really that evil? I just want to know how to get over this. I have been crying for a month straight. I feel sick. It feels like death around me. Last week he came over and in my weakness I slept with him. What's wrong with me? I'm 40 and I feel as though all my dreams and hopes have vanished. Will I ever get better? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Are people really that evil? Unfortunately, yes people really are that cruel. As much as it may hurt to read I am going to be honest with you. Going only off what you wrote in your post I would have to say run fast and as far away from this man as possible. Regardless of the prior child or the child on the way, if a man at his age chooses not to work while he has responsibilities such as proving for his child it shows a lack of integrity in him as a man. He obviously is not a very smart person if her has things so good with you but throw it away so easily. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 That man sounds like a ridiculous, disgusting jackass. Stay far away. Sorry you lost your baby. Stay away from him and that women. He created that situation so he has to deal with it, not you. Stay away. Stay far, far away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wow04 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I know you are hurting. You need to end it and go NC. You would never be able to accept the baby. Right now you need to take care of you. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Are people really that evil? Unfortunately, they can be. But I honestly doubt that she had that date marked on her calendar. Just doesn't really make sense to me. It's possible that it was just a sh*tty coincidence and your ex spun it to paint her in a negative light. It works to your ex's advantage to have you think she's an awful, manipulative person. It kind of takes some heat off of him to have you angry at her. And, you know, he could have prevented that situation from happening by telling you himself instead of letting you find out in pretty much the worst way possible. So...be a little angry at him. Sometimes anger helps. It would be a nice change from just being sad all the time, right? Get angry, then let it out in a healthy way and work on moving on. Things will get better eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 So he's 35 and has no job yet f'ed around on you. So I take it you supported him? Really, what do you see in him, ask yourself why it is that you love him, look deep into yourself and then, run as someone else said. Get away from him, far far away, nothing good will come of you two together. NOTHING. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Really? He doesn't love her? Why did he sleep with her then? He had to jump through hoops to do so; lying to her--she probaly was led to believe he was single. Love how they always dis the woman they cheated with. He has no job and is living with is Mom now. Real catch. YOU are a strong and independent lady and YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Sounds like a lying, immature and irresponsible guy. You dodged a bullet. Healing time for you, now--don't let him spoil that for you by proclaming his love for you when he obviously doesn't know what that is. Good for you for standing your ground. Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Sorry you're going through this. I'm afraid your man has made the biggest mistake of his life...he's right about that! However, from your point of view, he's done you a massive favour. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but he's given you the opportunity to move on...and fast! Women have babies well past their 40's, so don't think this is the last chance for you...this is an opportunity for you to find someone who loves and cares for you....take it with both hands, and don't look back! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Wow what a complete jerk. I can never understand why these guys plan to start a family with their SO, but then get someone else pregnant instead. So much for starting a family. You dodged a bullet! Good luck to this other woman who's preggers to someone earning no money. I hope she has sone savings or something! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Why does this happen a lot on here? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author carla71 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Hello all Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and kindness! I want to give an update of my situation. In doing so I hope I can help people you are in a similar that was in. Betrayed, feeling unwanted and used. Well I have moved on! To take my mind off things I focused on work. As a result, I got great promotion with loads of responsibility and a fantastic payrise! My company sends me abroad and get to work with amazing creative people! The money I was saving to buy a home for me and my ex I have used to get a small flat for myself. I have decorated it and keep it tidy. (He never lifted a finger in our shared apartment.) I started eating, doing yoga and I lost weight! I've met some lovely new female friends that make me laugh and we have a great time together. I haven't started dating yet because I'm enjoying my time and I don't feel ready yet. But when I do I will! And I know I will find great guy this time. Why? Because for the first time in a long time I know what I want! And the kicker is......he(my ex) is STILL asking me to get back with him and she is also texting me to find out if I am having an affair with him !!! She found his messages. haha! no way honey, you wanted him, you got him! Deal with it! Ps. I'm not going to respond to either of them. But I would be lying if I said it didn't give me the tiniest bit of satisfaction. People who have been cheated on, the best revenge is to work on yourself and try to be happy everyday! Life is too short! You are capable of great things! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
PYTpisces Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 You go girl! Link to post Share on other sites
ChaseYng2005 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 You are right to end it. The fact that he shared such an intimate and personal moment as the passing of your daughter with this woman, only so she could use it as ammunition, shows how much of a bastard he is and how emotionally invested he was with that whore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 What work do you do? That sounds really great. I hope you don't get back with this man ho idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts