ibenuto Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 So my boyfriend lives 45 minutes away so we can't see each other everyday. But I will soon be attending college near where he lives shortly. Being the guy that he is he claims he needs "contact" which he can't get on a daily basis since he doesn't live close. So he asked me to send him pictures and I told him no because it makes me uncomfortable but I was sorry he replied and said "Forget it." Then didn't talk to me for a day and a half. Then yesterday morning he sent me this: HIM:I shouldn't have gotten upset. ME:Yeah. No offense but that was a stupid reason to get mad. HIM:I just don't get to see you enough. And then. Idk ME: :Well you didn't have to get mad about it. That just makes you seem like a jerk. HIM:Realized. ME:don't worry about it. HIM:Yeah? ME: Yes HIM. Sorry. Just felt you weren't investing into this relationship as much as I was. ME:I know but I don't feel comfortable doing certain stuff HIM:Still unsure about my character? ME:No its not you. Its me. I trust you. ME: I don't want you to be mad at me just because I don't want to do it HIM:I just can't reason why you don't. You know I'm into you. But eh. You're not gonna do what you don't wanna do. ME:I don't feel uncomfortable with you, I feel uncomfortable with myself. HIM: Mmh. Alright. ME: You hate me. HIM:No... Just don't get why you're uncomfortable about your body. ME:well maybe cause i had an eating disorder for two years HIM: I gave you my views on that. But ok. I'm gonna have to relent. ME:Just don't be mad at me. HIM: Not. ME: Promise HIM:Yeah. Find an alternative though. ME:Like what? HIM: Talk dirty at the very least ME: haha you make fun of me cause i suck at it! HIM:Then don't suck at it! Lol ME:i cant help it! im naturally terrible! HIM:Nothing then huh? ME:well what am i suppose to tell you? what i wnt you to do to me? HIM: Hang on I'm driving. ME: K And he never replied! This convo was from yesterday. Is he still mad maybe? We have already fooled around before. But he didn't have to be a jerk when I said no to pictures! WHat do you think. This is our first argument btw. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 From Wikipedia: Guilt tripping: A special kind of intimidation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This usually results in the victim feeling bad, keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious and submissive position. Sound familiar? It's called psychological manipulation for one's own personal satisfaction or gain. One word of advice... If you don't respect yourself, no one else will either. If you're not comfortable having phone sex, sexting or sending dirty photos or videos, don't do it. If he wants to keep you in his life he needs to respect that. If he can't or won't, he only cares about what you can do for him, not who and what you are. Best, TMichaels 7 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Forty-five minutes away isn't far. Most people commute to work that amount of time. He just can't be bothered making any effort. If you send him any nude photos, expect to see them on the internet one day. Lots of naked women whose boyfriends "would never do that." If he wants to see you naked, tell him he can see you in person. Link to post Share on other sites
LondonBridges Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 He sounds like a jerk. He IS trying to guilt-trip you into doing it and THAT doesn't speak well about his character, speaking of. You're not comfortable... don't do it. He should accept that and if he doesn't then you should tell him to stuff it, honestly. Men are not always the most trustworthy with naughty pics as I have found out...all it takes is one in the wrong hands and then you're screwed. Not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
LondonBridges Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Oh yeah, and what does his comment mean: "Sorry. Just felt you weren't investing into this relationship as much as I was." How exactly is he investing more than you? Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Oh yeah, and what does his comment mean: "Sorry. Just felt you weren't investing into this relationship as much as I was." How exactly is he investing more than you? that's what i was wondering too... Link to post Share on other sites
HHC Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Just ring him. Texting and chatting via text based media ruins the intent. I don't like how people attack and break everything down, when really it doesn't mean a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 He seemed to be pressuring you and making you feel bad. I also noticed you reassured him you trust him twice. But I think you weren't being completely honest. Because it's clear you haven't been together that long, and he's pushing on your boundaries. He sounded to me like a bit of a punk. Link to post Share on other sites
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