tiki Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 Any recommendations on talking to the kiddos about marriage? Mine is 4 and his is 6. We plan to marry in February (maybe!) if all goes well. An engagement will be soon. *When* do we talk to the kids (I don't think mine will really understand - age 4)? Advice please. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 How close are they to their real Father? Would he be willing to help you explain to your children that he will always be Daddy to them? Kids are really cool about things like this especially if they like your fiance'. I also think that they are young enough to not get so dramatic over something like this. BUT, be carefull of what you say, because they are delicate. Never put their real Father down in any way, shape, or form. Just tell them that you need help around the house and you need a friend to always be around too.....I'm happy for you and also impressed that you would take steps to explain to them your intentions, and being concerned about their feelings.....it's too cool!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 I think you should introduce the idea as soon as possible. They'll need some time to adjust. Do they have a close relationship with the other parent? If so, they'll take a lot of cues from their reaction. If the other parent is hostile or resentful, you may have trouble with the child. They seem to have a tendency to think that they're being disloyal to the other parent if they accept a new marriage. I had some trouble with my daughter when I married my ex. They got along very well and liked each other before we married. After, she got snotty with him at times. It seems like lots of kids harbor fantasies of their parents getting back together. I know my daughter did, even though she was never given any reason to think that. Some kids adjust very well. But it seems like eventually most people have some sort of problem with it. Sometimes, years later, the kids become resentful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tiki Posted June 24, 2004 Author Share Posted June 24, 2004 My ex-husband and I have a wonderful relationship...the entire divorce has been no stress and he knows of my boyfriend. We have been divorced for almost three years now. I know my boyfriend's ex-wife also. She's a tougher cookie. Their daughter seems to love me (age 6). We spend lots of time together and took it really slow in the beginning. She asks him ?'s every now and then us getting married. Should we ask her how she feels? I think that my ex-husband would be willing talk to our son about the 'always being your Dad' conversation. Should we tell them when we get engaged? Or should we introduce the idea now? We spend all of our time together in my home, which would be our home after marriage. His daughter spends all of her time over at my house, with the exception of sleeping. My son (4) has adapted quite well to them being here. We are beginning to really feel like a family. Thanks for all of your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 Yes!!! By all means, tell them now!!!! They even might be as excited as you are!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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