Leopard Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 ^^ At least she would be getting something out of him other than constantly being nagged for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 ^^ At least she would be getting something out of him other than constantly being nagged for sex. Women who think like you are a large part of the reason that I prefer not to pay for early dates. It weeds those of your ilk out quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Reading all the entitlement of women on this forum, its hard to have genuine interest in them even if I want to. lol, has nothing to do with this forum. You want to be able to use women for sex, yet are upset they use you for money. I'm pretty sure you're not honest with these women about your intentions either. You deserve what you're getting. Also, once you're old and ugly you'll be grateful your money can make your saggy skin and short lived erection more tolerable. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 There are men who are loved and adored by women without spending a cent...in fact, they often have women spending money on them. Don't tell me you've never met a guy like that. Very true. Women decide from the first few seconds of meeting a man whether she is into him or not and paying does very little to change that. Men don't have to cater to the cafeteria feminism when it comes to dating these days. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 lol, has nothing to do with this forum. You want to be able to use women for sex, yet are upset they use you for money. I'm pretty sure you're not honest with these women about your intentions either. You deserve what you're getting. Also, once you're old and ugly you'll be grateful your money can make your saggy skin and short lived erection more tolerable. I dont use women who are good to me. Im fair. I feel that a woman is the entitled type, then thats the kind of woman Im going to take sex from in exchange for the money Im spending on her. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I think it shows a guy is into you if they pay for the first date. I Just would not continue to date a guy who did not pay - but be open to being proven wrong, that he did not pay, and us still into me. If a " friend" who I dated, and did not pay, ended up crazy about me and we could be great together, I would re asses thiings. For sure. The only thing you can be assured of when a guy pays for your expenses on a date is that he'd like to have sex with you. It could mean many other things beyond that as well but it takes more time and effort for you to be able to know anything else about how he feels about you for sure. Guys reaching for the wallet is so common even today simply because it is one of the easiest ways to make a woman think a guy is into her. If we only responded to a 3 round cage match being fought in our honor before we'd become willing to have sex, you'd see a lot less guys dating women they little interest in beyond sex. If paying is the end all be all of what a guy being into you means to you then have it your way. But one of the differences (one of the only ones I can really see) between men and women is that a guy wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean the whole bucket list of things it often means when a woman wants to have sex with a guy. Men will have sex with a woman they don't even like. You're looking to his paying to be some measure of your worth to him - some simple gesture that takes so little effort is how you expect your worth to be measured?!?! So basically when a guys buys you something early into dating you, the only thing you can be absolutely sure of is he wants to screw. You're walking along thinking "oh wow he must really be into me! He bought my chips after all." and he could very well be thinking "doesn't she ever shut up? I thought buying her those chips would give my ears a break but damn she really scarfed those down quick! Man I hope she scarfs down on my cock with the same enthusiasm tonight; I don't think I can handle much more of her endless prattle". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 The only thing you can be assured of when a guy pays for your expenses on a date is that he'd like to have sex with you. It could mean many other things beyond that as well but it takes more time and effort for you to be able to know anything else about how he feels about you for sure. Guys reaching for the wallet is so common even today simply because it is one of the easiest ways to make a woman think a guy is into her. If we only responded to a 3 round cage match being fought in our honor before we'd become willing to have sex, you'd see a lot less guys dating women they little interest in beyond sex. If paying is the end all be all of what a guy being into you means to you then have it your way. But one of the differences (one of the only ones I can really see) between men and women is that a guy wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean the whole bucket list of things it often means when a woman wants to have sex with a guy. Men will have sex with a woman they don't even like. You're looking to his paying to be some measure of your worth to him - some simple gesture that takes so little effort is how you expect your worth to be measured?!?! So basically when a guys buys you something early into dating you, the only thing you can be absolutely sure of is he wants to screw. You're walking along thinking "oh wow he must really be into me! He bought my chips after all." and he could very well be thinking "doesn't she ever shut up? I thought buying her those chips would give my ears a break but damn she really scarfed those down quick! Man I hope she scarfs down on my cock with the same enthusiasm tonight; I don't think I can handle much more of her endless prattle". Lol, I think you are being too cynical. Actually its human nature to want to 'serve' something to a person we are interested in in the hope that that person would be interested in us as a result. This is why I dont have problem with being expected to be generous because I do have the desire to be generous to the person Im interested in. But what I have problem with is when the expecter isnt generous herself. Thats when I get irritated. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Lol, I think you are being too cynical. Actually its human nature to want to 'serve' something to a person we are interested in in the hope that that person would be interested in us as a result. This is why I dont have problem with being expected to be generous. But I have problem when the expecter isnt generous herself. Nope, not cynical. There are men out there like you after all. And you've said yourself that you won't clue your date in on what you're thinking. I doubt mediocre you was the first to try that tactic. So knowing that there are men like you out there as well as men who don't care as much about keeping their money all theirs with a mine mine mine mentality that sweat not one drop about doling some out to make a woman think they like her more than is fact, I find it to be ridiculous when women think a guy paying for them is some measure of their worth. Its not like he is going to strain a muscle or forgo his car payment to buy her meal so how the hell does him picking up the tab indicate anything beyond that he'd like to have sex with her? Like I said SURE, the guy could still very well be into her, find her interesting and want to spend much more time around her, but she can't tell that for sure simply by him picking up the tab. I suspect women who think that indicates a guy's level of interest in her overall and not just that he'd like to get laid are also highly materialistic as well. Money talks and very loudly to them. They are not paying as much attention to other things or taking the amount of time necessary to really know the fella's mind on the matter before climbing into bed. Maybe they too just want to get laid and money spent is insurance to them if the sex isn't that great. If that's the case its fine; both will be happy with the end result one way or the other. Just no pretending to be confused later when it turns out all he wanted was sex. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Agree with S4S on this one. I think whether a man pays or not is a very poor indicator of interest, generally. The WAY a man goes about it may or may not indicate somewhat, IME, but that's getting intricate, and the WAY a man goes about anything may indicate that. Using it to gauge interest is pretty rubbish. I mean, I think most deeply interested men will pay (unless they're still unsure and weeding out, like Sanman, or just never think of the convention, like kaylan, or have some other perspective against paying in general) but so will many men who are just interested in sex, as sally says. Hell, I've known men who will pay for dates -- and insist on paying -- who don't even want to have sex with the girl or see her again, as they only have sex with R partners. But they'll insist on paying if they asked the gal out, because that's their personal value system. Everyone has their own. I would think that discussion on this matter -- still waiting for the "Men can wear dresses" thread -- would suggest that socialization for men to pay for dates is relatively weak, as far as socialization suggests, as many people feel dissonance with it or do not adhere to it. Strong socialization produces little dissonance. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Ladies, if you wanted to know why some men have a problem with paying, your answer is above. There is nothing like being called p*ssy whipped and to know that a woman is with you because you pay for her and are less likely to cheat or demand sex. Makes me want to run right out and buy some woman dinner. :rolleyes: TBH, whenever I see anything written by that poster, the first sentence that comes to mind is, "How's it going under that bridge?" Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Unfortunately I need sex so I do go on dates and pay even if begrudgingly. I could not have found a better example of a beta-male quote even if I tried. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Nope, not cynical. There are men out there like you after all. And you've said yourself that you won't clue your date in on what you're thinking. I doubt mediocre you was the first to try that tactic. I dont tell my date what Im thinking because I want to see the real her. I dont want a woman who pays for example because she knew I like women who pay not because she is naturally generous. So knowing that there are men like you out there as well as men who don't care as much about keeping their money all theirs with a mine mine mine mentality that sweat not one drop about doling some out to make a woman think they like her more than is fact, I find it to be ridiculous when women think a guy paying for them is some measure of their worth. Its not like he is going to strain a muscle or forgo his car payment to buy her meal so how the hell does him picking up the tab indicate anything beyond that he'd like to have sex with her? Like I said SURE, the guy could still very well be into her, find her interesting and want to spend much more time around her, but she can't tell that for sure simply by him picking up the tab. I suspect women who think that indicates a guy's level of interest in her overall and not just that he'd like to get laid are also highly materialistic as well. Money talks and very loudly to them. They are not paying as much attention to other things or taking the amount of time necessary to really know the fella's mind on the matter before climbing into bed. Maybe they too just want to get laid and money spent is insurance to them if the sex isn't that great. If that's the case its fine; both will be happy with the end result one way or the other. Just no pretending to be confused later when it turns out all he wanted was sex. Of course I have spoken to many of my male friends about my aversion to paying for everything on dates and the common response I often heard was "Dude, yes you have to pay money in the beginning, but after that you get to bang her everyday for free." Personally I find such line of thought disgusting. I would rather find someone who believes in sharing from the beginning to the end. But then again there are those women who set out to use women for both money and sex. I think these are the worst of the worst. At least those men who pay with the intention of getting sex is still giving something to the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 The only thing you can be assured of when a guy pays for your expenses on a date is that he'd like to have sex with you. I don't know of many guys that ask anyone out that they wouldn't like to have sex with, regardless of who pays. I feel that a woman is the entitled type, then thats the kind of woman Im going to take sex from in exchange for the money Im spending on her. Just remember that if you ever have a daughter, they look for men just like their fathers. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I dont tell my date what Im thinking because I want to see the real her. That is the most backwards thing I've ever heard. I'm sure many people do it though. Essentially you're saying only one person in the relationship can be real and manipulating the situation in hopes of seeing the real her without showing the real you. Sad. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I could not have found a better example of a beta-male quote even if I tried. Thank you. I wish I could stand up for my principle instead of succumbing to my desire. But I admit that my high need for sexual intimacy is my biggest weakness. Just remember that if you ever have a daughter, they look for men just like their fathers. And thats good because Im a good man. If I ever have a daughter, I will teach her to be a generous and considerate woman and to always watch out for people who are out to take advantage of others. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I don't know of many guys that ask anyone out that they wouldn't like to have sex with, regardless of who pays. Kinda why thinking him paying for your meal means he is really into you is lame. Just fooling yourself and looking for something to make it okay for you to be the sexual being you are. Screw when you want to and when you know you'll get out of it what you're wanting to get from screwing. Waiting for him to buy stuff shouldn't be what motivates a person to having sex unless they are a sex worker. The hottest thing I've ever known in dating is the difference between a guy I don't know passing me in some public situation and giving me that look of hunger - and a guy who has taken the time to let me get to know him and for him to get to know me, my interests, my talents, what I contribute to the world around me and THEN lets me know he desires me. The first is looking my body and face over and doesn't care if I'm a vapid asshat. The other has gotten to know the person I am and likes that person. What does any of that have to do with how much money got spent? Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 If I ever have a daughter, I will teach her to be a generous and considerate woman and to always watch out for people who are out to take advantage of others. And no matter what you teach her, she will look for a man who equates money with sex. The hottest thing I've ever known in dating is the difference between a guy I don't know passing me in some public situation and giving me that look of hunger - and a guy who has taken the time to let me get to know him and for him to get to know me, my interests, my talents, what I contribute to the world around me and THEN lets me know he desires me. For me, it's kind of like the difference between a guy that looks at me as someone he would like to get to know vs. a guy that assumes I am a financial burden from the minute he first sees me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I feel that a woman is the entitled type, then thats the kind of woman Im going to take sex from in exchange for the money Im spending on her. Don't you think that having sex with someone you dislike is kind of sick? Heck, going on a date and spending money on someone you dislike is really weak. And that the concept of "taking sex from" a woman is also sick to the point of creepy bordering on a rapist mentality? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Don't you think that having sex with someone you dislike is kind of sick? Heck, going on a date and spending money on someone you dislike is really weak. And that the concept of "taking sex from" a woman is also sick to the point of creepy bordering on a rapist mentality? Well, this poster thinks that women are 'taking money from him' despite nobody putting their hands into his wallet, anyhow, so I think his issue is more just a royally screwed-up view of things in general and not really rape-related. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Well, this poster thinks that women are 'taking money from him' despite nobody putting their hands into his wallet, anyhow, so I think his issue is more just a royally screwed-up view of things in general and not really rape-related. Okay. I'll just think it's creepy and mean spirited, and forget about the potential rapist angle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leopard Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Women who think like you are a large part of the reason that I prefer not to pay for early dates. It weeds those of your ilk out quickly. It would also turn off any woman who was willing to raise your children and cook for you instead of hiring a babysitter and barely every seeing her kids because she is working too much. You shouldn't expect dinner on the table when you get home from work then, and I hope you can cook because you would be cooking your *half* of the meal just like she pays for her *half* of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Kinda why thinking him paying for your meal means he is really into you is lame. Just fooling yourself and looking for something to make it okay for you to be the sexual being you are. Screw when you want to and when you know you'll get out of it what you're wanting to get from screwing. Waiting for him to buy stuff shouldn't be what motivates a person to having sex unless they are a sex worker. What does any of that have to do with how much money got spent? Agreed that it is really has nothing to do with whether he likes you. It has everything to do with getting you to like him. Now, why he wants you to like him is a different question altogether. The funny thing is only straight women think this way. I have friends that are lesbian and have dated several bisexual women, they have all said that when two women are dating they generally split the check or take turns paying. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 It would also turn off any woman who was willing to raise your children and cook for you instead of hiring a babysitter and barely every seeing her kids because she is working too much. You shouldn't expect dinner on the table when you get home from work then, and I hope you can cook because you would be cooking your *half* of the meal just like she pays for her *half* of it. Actually, I would cook most of the meals as I am a better cook than anyone I have ever dated. Most could barely boil water though. I'm a huge foodie that enjoys cooking. My current gf prefers I cook for her when we are home. For the record, no one will be raising my child for me, be it a wife or a babysitter. I expect my wife to help raise OUR child and expect I would be very involved as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Leopard Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 The funny thing is only straight women think this way. I have friends that are lesbian and have dated several bisexual women, they have all said that when two women are dating they generally split the check or take turns paying. That's because there is no MAN there. Now do you get it? Link to post Share on other sites
Leopard Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Actually, I would cook most of the meals as I am a better cook than anyone I have ever dated. Most could barely boil water though. I'm a huge foodie that enjoys cooking. My current gf prefers I cook for her when we are home. For the record, no one will be raising my child for me, be it a wife or a babysitter. I expect my wife to help raise OUR child and expect I would be very involved as well. Question: would you be willing to be a stay at home dad while your wife/girlfriend was out being the provider? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
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