Els Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 ....The hell??? LOL!!!! :laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) That's a horrible lack of finesse. You don't like guys who don't pay, fine, at least do the adult thing and pay anyway, just don't see him again. Nobody likes to see petty squabbles between supposed adults over the bill at restaurants.Why should I pay if I'm asked out? Give me a good reason. If I have to pay for an invitation then it's not really an invitation. When you're invited, it's already suppose to be free. That's why it's called asking out. It would be different if I'm the one planning the invitation. Then that's another story. Edited June 30, 2012 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Why should I pay if I'm asked out? Give me a good reason. If I have to pay for an invitation then it's not really an invitation. When you're invited, it's already suppose to be free. That's why it's called asking out. It would be different if I'm the one planning the invitation. Then that's another story. I don't care to argue about 'should's or 'should not's, because then we'd just go on til the cows come home. What I'm saying is that you don't go and eat, then INSIST that you're not paying a dime and leave. You could even get into legal trouble for that, because as far as the restaurant staff are concerned, you ate, you pay. It's also incredibly childish. Everyone has been screwed over before, even by friends who order loads and then want to share the bill. Adults simply pay up and decide not to see them again. Only children allow it to descend into a huge petty fight when the bill comes. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Why should I pay if I'm asked out? Give me a good reason. Because if you pay for yourself, you might be taken seriously instead of being dismissed as a gold digging ho? When I go on a first date and the girl doesn't even offer to pay, I automatically move her from "potential girlfriend" to "only useful for sex" category. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) Because if you pay for yourself, you might be taken seriously instead of being dismissed as a gold digging ho? When I go on a first date and the girl doesn't even offer to pay, I automatically move her from "potential girlfriend" to "only useful for sex" category.I see. How about this? The fact that he will just let me split the bill on this own damn invitation instead of saying ''No it's ok, I'll pay it'' IMO proves he doesn't care about me at all and I was tricked. I'm not a gold digger as I can careless about elegant places (except McDonalds...anything is better than that) but basic manners is all I'm asking. If I'm the one asking you out then that's a different story... I'll pay. Edited July 1, 2012 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I'm not a gold digger as I can careless about elegant places (except McDonalds...anything is better than that) but basic manners is all I'm asking. If I'm the one asking you out then that's a different story... I'll pay. And how often do women ask men out on first dates? Exactly Some women have what I call 'whorish nature'...on an instinctive level, they need to feel like they are being bought. If the guy is not paying for them, they feel worthless. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 And how often do women ask men out on first dates? Exactly Maybe less but if the ocassion shows up, I'm not busy and really like the guy, I would ask him out. I don't mind. Though, there are some women that ask out men. Some women have what I call 'whorish nature'...on an instinctive level, they need to feel like they are being bought. If the guy is not paying for them, they feel worthless.Yet at the same time you're feeling used if a woman doesn't offer to pay on your invitation. There's no winner I guess. Both of us would feel played. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I see. How about this? The fact that he will just let me split the bill on this own damn invitation instead of saying ''No it's ok, I'll pay it'' IMO proves he doesn't care about me at all and I was tricked. I'm not a gold digger as I can careless about elegant places (except McDonalds...anything is better than that) but basic manners is all I'm asking. If I'm the one asking you out then that's a different story... I'll pay. If he has a healthy outlook, he doesn't care and that a good thing. You are talking about a person that has known you a few hours max and is GETTING to know what kind of person you are. The type of attitude you hold is a definite turn off and a guy with options does not have deal with it. I really do not get women who want to be 'wooed' or swept off their feet from the get go. Caring and going to lengths to show that you care for another is something that develops over time. As for inviting you, you have friends invite you to dinner? Movies? Other social events? Do you expect them to pay for you? Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 And how often do women ask men out on first dates? Now THAT'S the thing I'd like to see change. Some women can't even hint at having no plans for the weekend without being labeled as desperate. If that was changed, I could ask and I could pay. Yet at the same time you're feeling used if a woman doesn't offer to pay on your invitation. There's no winner I guess. Both of us would feel played. Exactly. Almost everyone on this thread is judging their dates based on whether or not they pay, it's just that only a handful of them actually admit it. I really do not get women who want to be 'wooed' or swept off their feet from the get go. Because it used to be that wooing stopped on the wedding day. Then it evolved so that wooing stops after sex. Now it is trying to evolve into no wooing, ever. It's like most people want to find their dream partner while putting in the least amount of effort possible. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 If he has a healthy outlook, he doesn't care and that a good thing. You are talking about a person that has known you a few hours max and is GETTING to know what kind of person you are. The type of attitude you hold is a definite turn off and a guy with options does not have deal with it. I really do not get women who want to be 'wooed' or swept off their feet from the get go. Caring and going to lengths to show that you care for another is something that develops over time.All I know is if I had to waste a single dime when being asked out... that's the last time he'll heard from me and at the same time my father won't like him either (he can forget about a greeting introduction with him as well too). It's not about being wooed or swept off my feet (if I wanted that... then don't you think I would be demanding expensive places as well as jewels???... honestly I don't ask much) but if I'm expected to still pay then why even ask me out? Don't you think the type of ''I ask out but she still has to pay'' is a turn off to me, my father and other women too??? Just like he thinks my attitude is rude so do I regarding that attitude of his. As for inviting you, you have friends invite you to dinner? Movies? Other social events? Do you expect them to pay for you?That is not a date. I'm not dating my female friends nor my male childhood friend. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Exactly. Almost everyone on this thread is judging their dates based on whether or not they pay, it's just that only a handful of them actually admit it.yes... that poster already assumed I'm a gold-digger. But see... let's say what if on the next date or so I would have done the asking out and surprise him by paying? But since he judged me too fast, he never got to really know me. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Because it used to be that wooing stopped on the wedding day. Then it evolved so that wooing stops after sex. Now it is trying to evolve into no wooing, ever. It's like most people want to find their dream partner while putting in the least amount of effort possible. I think wooing should increase as you know the person. You should appreciate more the one that stood by you rather than the one you just met. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 yes... that poster already assumed I'm a gold-digger. But see... let's say what if on the next date or so I would have done the asking out and surprise him by paying? But since he judged me too fast, he never got to really know me. It's always been uncomfortable for me to split the cost of first dates because it seems so presumptive -- like you are both going into the date assuming you won't like each other. And also because I am always the one that has to bring it up by offering/insisting. Because of that, I have always paid for second dates. So yeah, if a man judged me on whether or I paid on the first date he would miss out on me paying for the second date. (The exception for me would be OLD, which to me should be dutch since we would have never met before. Other than that, I generally already like a guy before going out with him. I've never really been approached by guys that just ask random girls out.) Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I think wooing should increase as you know the person. You should appreciate more the one that stood by you rather than the one you just met. Oh, you definitely should appreciate the one that stands by you. But that typically comes long after the wooing. Wooing to me is what you do to "get" someone, and it makes for the nice memories when life becomes all about paying the bills and taking out the trash. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Oh, you definitely should appreciate the one that stands by you. But that typically comes long after the wooing. Wooing to me is what you do to "get" someone, and it makes for the nice memories when life becomes all about paying the bills and taking out the trash. Life should never be all about paying bills and taking out trash. Romance is part of the work of sustaining a marriage. It is as important in year 50 as it is in year one, if not more so. That is my point. You should never get complacent... It is the road to divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Life should never be all about paying bills and taking out trash. Romance is part of the work of sustaining a marriage. It is as important in year 50 as it is in year one, if not more so. That is my point. You should never get complacent... It is the road to divorce. I agree with this completely. What maybealone said has truth in it, though - some people really feel that they should get anyone they want without needing to put any effort into it at any stage at all - which is a ridiculously asinine, entitled, and often unfruitful mindset. I don't think paying is the only way to show effort, but it is one of several possible ways. Link to post Share on other sites
PineappleMango Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Okay, so let's say that it is the first date... And the man brought up the date, chose the venue, etc... Should he pay? Because, I think that will be uncomfortable for me. I'm the kind who would have to order the cheapest thing on the menu, and offer to pay half, regardless. But, I think that is just what my parents taught me growing up. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Okay, so let's say that it is the first date... And the man brought up the date, chose the venue, etc... Should he pay?According to my father yes he should. Because, I think that will be uncomfortable for me. I'm the kind who would have to order the cheapest thing on the menu, and offer to pay half, regardless. But, I think that is just what my parents taught me growing up.McDonalds?? That's what I can think of that will totally turn me off. I'm 25, not a 13 year-old going into fast food restaurants, esp not on a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 According to my father yes he should. McDonalds?? That's what I can think of that will totally turn me off. I'm 25, not a 13 year-old going into fast food restaurants, esp not on a date. Your father is a sexist, why would you listen to him? Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) Your father is a sexist, why would you listen to him?The so called spliting the bill 50/50 on the first date thing didn't worked out in my past relationship anyways. It turned out to be a disaster. At some point, I felt taken for granted. Seriously everytime we would go out it had to always be 50/50 and he couldn't at least surprise me once. After a long time of dating, it continued to be the same (to the point of not even getting anything for Christmas...not even a simple card but instead he treated like a normal day). So I've changed. As for why I'm now listening to my father: because he's right most of the times. Whatever works out for you fine. But not every single one of us will do the splitting bill on first date. IMO screw this so called new system. It failed me. But it's ok. Seems men in both Peru (my country) or United Kingdom at least have basic manners and don't complain nor go out of their way thinking of ways of being cheapstakes. It's not sexist but common sense and being a damn gentleman (I'll reciprocate afterwards... but how I'm I suppose to like him if he's not even trying at all??). I'm not a man nor one of his buddies he's dating. Edited July 3, 2012 by samsungxoxo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 The so called spliting the bill 50/50 on the first date thing didn't worked out in my past relationship anyways. It turned out to be a disaster. At some point, I felt taken for granted. Seriously everytime we would go out it had to always be 50/50 and he couldn't at least surprise me once. After a long time of dating, it continued to be the same (to the point of not even getting anything for Christmas...not even a simple card but instead he treated like a normal day). So I've changed. As for why I'm now listening to my father: because he's right most of the times. Whatever works out for you fine. But not every single one of us will do the splitting bill on first date. IMO screw this so called new system. It failed me. But it's ok. Seems men in both Peru (my country) or United Kingdom at least have basic manners and don't complain nor go out of their way thinking of ways of being cheapstakes. It's not sexist but common sense and being a damn gentleman (I'll reciprocate afterwards... but how I'm I suppose to like him if he's not even trying at all??). I'm not a man nor one of his buddies he's dating. What makes you more deserving of being surprised with a monetary gift than him? Being a gentleman was for people dating before feminism and suckers who are willing to be a gentleman without being rewarded with a proper lady who cooks, cleans and ***** without complaint. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 What makes you more deserving of being surprised with a monetary gift than him? Being a gentleman was for people dating before feminism and suckers who are willing to be a gentleman without being rewarded with a proper lady who cooks, cleans and ***** without complaint.What makes him so special that I should offer to pay on his invitation??? Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 What makes him so special that I should offer to pay on his date??? The fact that you're consuming products or services that are eventually going to have to be paid for. Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 What makes him so special that I should offer to pay on his invitation??? That's really just a really thinly veiled prostitute rhetoric women use. Men need to man up and be the ones asking women out, then the people who do the asking need to pay. Tee hee but im totally a strong and independent woman, all I need is his wallet. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 The fact that you're consuming products or services that are eventually going to have to be paid for.Then that's not a date. I would call that a hang-out. Keep trying. You won't change me. Link to post Share on other sites
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