Consolidated Discussion - Paying for Dates

[bac]

A woman "can't" be cheap. Only a man can be. The thing is women are cheap. But we can't call them out on it.

 

Men have no idea that being a hot woman cannot be cheap. She has to spend a lot of money on nails, hair, skin, clothes, makeup and many other quality expensive things. Men do believe that they can get hard without all the things that women do to be hot. But, IRL, every girl knows that men cannot get hard without it. Men want us to look hot, to have beautiful faces, smiles, nails, hair, and everything else. And, they believe that all the stuff costs much less than a few drinks he might buy for us.

A man typically get ready for a date for 5-10 minutes. He typically takes shower and puts on smth that he got from Walmart several years ago.

[IHateHypocrites]

She has to spend a lot of money on nails, hair, skin, clothes, makeup and many other quality expensive things. Men do believe that they can get hard without all the things that women do to be hot. But, IRL, every girl knows that men cannot get hard without it

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

I'm a guy, I think I know how I can get hard and don't need someone to tell me otherwise, thank you very much.

[Lixxy]

Men have no idea that being a hot woman cannot be cheap. She has to spend a lot of money on nails, hair, skin, clothes, makeup and many other quality expensive things. Men do believe that they can get hard without all the things that women do to be hot. But, IRL, every girl knows that men cannot get hard without it. Men want us to look hot, to have beautiful faces, smiles, nails, hair, and everything else. And, they believe that all the stuff costs much less than a few drinks he might buy for us.

A man typically get ready for a date for 5-10 minutes. He typically takes shower and puts on smth that he got from Walmart several years ago.

 

Oh my godddddd what is even happening right now I don't even... LOL! This is mindblowing. I can't even tell if you're being serious or not!

 

Are you seriously saying, that the reason a man should pay 100% on a date, is because the woman decided to fork out a ton of money for superficial crap that he didn't even demand?!

 

I'm female too. And what... She "has" to, you say? How about no? Not all guys even want you to spend stupid money on your looks. In fact there are many men who will say otherwise (and surely a guy worth your time is one who will love you more without the superficial extras that cost you an apparent fortune?)

 

And also - who says you "have" to spend all these big bucks to look hot anyway? That's the lamest excuse for refusing to simply be FAIR that I ever heard.

 

That's even more comical than my earlier giggle of "Well, sure I have money, but I also have a vagina, you see. Therefore I expect you to pay 100%. What? I have a vagina!"

 

That is "Wah!!! I can't possibly pay for this meal... Like, do you even know how much this dress (that you didn't ask me to wear and had absolutely no say about) cost?!"

 

Maybe I'll start using that as an excuse for everything... It's time to pay my rent?! Eaugh! I'll just call up my landlord and tell him if he knew how much my designer couch cost, he'd think twice about asking for that cash! After all, I made his property look SO damn sexy... he ought to understand I cannot possible pay rent whilst I pimp out his property in the well-adjusted feminine manner that I do. Plus, I've a vagina... IS CHIVALRY DEAD?!

 

LMFAO! Like, what does that even have to do with fairness when it comes to food consumption (and therefore splitting the pay down the middle because both parties ate) on a date?!

 

This thread is amazing.

[OwlSoul]

women think they are better than men and deserve superior treatment in a relationship.

Not sure whether it's a trolling or it's for real.

 

Honestly, for me, the guy paying or at least feeling bad he cannot do it atm. is a sign of a care. When you really like someone, you really try to show it. Same applies for girls (I try to insist on paying for myself, which offends a bit my guy).

 

However, when the person clearly says something like 'Pay for it. We're equal' and etc. it's a sign of a player really. Red flag. Get the best you can for the cheapest price possible.

[Lixxy]

Oh oh oh, wait... I'm curious about something..

 

What is the going ratio? I am curious about this.

 

I spend say... $200 on a dress, plus $160 on my hair and $120 on makeup.. and he pays for #1 meal at a high-class place?

 

I spend $1000 on a dress, $400 on hair and makeup, and that covers me for umm.. say #5 meals at a high-class place and #5 at a cafe?

 

How about if the combined financial weight of ALL of my physical adornments PLUS an additional BOOB JOB to the estimated cup of his preference just gives me a free pass for every date he takes me on for the rest of our relationship plus everything else?

[Legatus]

I have to agree with @OwlSoul. If someone says something like that at loud, it does look like some kind of game.

 

@Lixxy - well written! I hate women spending so much money on things that aren't asked for. And on Saturday I actually explained my two female friends, that men very often find natural women more attractive. Just because we happen to look at everyone, doesn't mean we like everyone! But nobody believes it, of course.

 

The money women spend on make-up etc. could be spent in a lot of better ways.

[IHateHypocrites]

Oh oh oh, wait... I'm curious about something..

 

What is the going ratio? I am curious about this.

 

I spend say... $200 on a dress, plus $160 on my hair and $120 on makeup.. and he pays for #1 meal at a high-class place?

 

I spend $1000 on a dress, $400 on hair and makeup, and that covers me for umm.. say #5 meals at a high-class place and #5 at a cafe?

 

How about if the combined financial weight of ALL of my physical adornments PLUS an additional BOOB JOB to the estimated cup of his preference just gives me a free pass for every date he takes me on for the rest of our relationship plus everything else?

 

That would be hilarious, because some of the women who are willing to actually apply that logic would also protest that all these expenses were never meant for men, only for themselves.

 

Hypocrisy at it's finest.

[thefooloftheyear]

Some of these responses are puzzling....

 

As a guy I always reach for the check...And in the case of the OP, I do see the point that she invited him so she should pay...I still would have picked up the check, though..maybe I am too soft?..I dunno...You definitely dont want to come off as cheap while in the courting stage...Women hate that.

 

Anyway, some of the women have offered to pay and Ill back off and let them. I wont get into the "I got this, no let me....Im the man I pay" back and forth you see happening. Its always worked well for me and never seemed to be any resentment or misunderstanding..(shrug)...

 

TFY

[Lixxy]

You definitely dont want to come off as cheap while in the courting stage...Women hate that.

 

That's if all of the expectation lays with you, and you alone to make a good impression, simply because you are male...

 

Apparently for some people, "dating" means that the lady you're meeting can throw on a pretty dress and expect the world, whilst you are expected to charm her, make her laugh, give the impression you're a "true gentleman" without coming off as too sappy, give the impression that you're successful without coming across as too busy, give the impression that you like her without coming across as creepy, and pay the full bill knowing full well that she may not even call you back the next day.

 

And people speak about the pressures on women...

[boaaaar]

Not really fair to say that's a mark against my character. I wasn't upset that I paid.

Lol, and that's why you said "Should I kick him to the curb or join the 21st century?" in your first post.

 

You make it quite clear that you really don't like the "21st century", so stay out of it and kick him to the curb. He will probably find somebody who has a more compatible attitude towards the "21st century". Just a compatibity issue.

[soccerrprp]

Some of these responses are puzzling....

 

As a guy I always reach for the check...And in the case of the OP, I do see the point that she invited him so she should pay...I still would have picked up the check, though..maybe I am too soft?..I dunno...You definitely dont want to come off as cheap while in the courting stage...Women hate that.

 

Anyway, some of the women have offered to pay and Ill back off and let them. I wont get into the "I got this, no let me....Im the man I pay" back and forth you see happening. Its always worked well for me and never seemed to be any resentment or misunderstanding..(shrug)...

 

TFY

 

I recently had another date and the lady offered to pay. I picked up the check anyway. Maybe I'm too soft, too? I made the mistake(?) of allowing someone in the past to pay for a portion of a date or two. She offered, so I thought it was okay or genuine. I found out later via minor "lecture" on her part that that was not how she expected to be courted.

 

Anyway, the more I read on this, the more I am inclined to believe that women "should" do more to offer. Sometimes it's about being cheap, but sometimes it's just about being fair, right?

 

I will continue to be prepared to pay, but, from now on, if a lady offers, I will not decline. It's simply very refreshing to see a woman feel confident enough to offer to pay for part of or all of the date. Gosh, it shouldn't be that inconvenient for a lady to do so.

[IHateHypocrites]

I recently had another date and the lady offered to pay. I picked up the check anyway. Maybe I'm too soft, too? I made the mistake(?) of allowing someone in the past to pay for a portion of a date or two. She offered, so I thought it was okay or genuine. I found out later via minor "lecture" on her part that that was not how she expected to be courted. .

 

This is just dumb on her part. If you don't want to chip in, don't offer in the first place. And then complain, when you are actually taken up on your offer? Ridiculous.

 

To me it would be an immediate turnoff.

[soccerrprp]

But on the first date? I really do recommend insisting on paying for her on the first date at least. It comes of as lovely and caring. You can always add in that you're willing to go Dutch on the next one but this first ones on you because you're just happy to meet her.

 

It's nice

 

 

Oh, yes, the first date, I will ALWAYS pay. I was thinking beyond that point.

[soccerrprp]

This is just dumb on her part. If you don't want to chip in, don't offer in the first place. And then complain, when you are actually taken up on your offer? Ridiculous.

 

To me it would be an immediate turnoff.

 

I hear more and more women doing this, it seems. They offer, the guy says 'okay' and then later, the woman complains of questions. It's a strange thing to me.

 

I also sometimes feel that women offer having strong suspicions/hopes that the guy will kindly decline. So, when he does agree, she is taken off guard.

 

The woman who gave me the lecture qualified by simply saying that she was 'old-fashioned.' Well, it turns out that she was old-fashioned about a few singular things, but not so much for man other.

 

To balance, of course, I have dated women who genuinely intended and did pay for a portion or all of a date. Not the first date, but subsequent. I was a nice feeling.

[thefooloftheyear]

 

Seems like every thread now degrades into a big clutserfck of gender warfare..

 

I never found ANY issue..I offer to pay..Im a guy. I am fortunate that I can spend $200 bucks on a nice meal and that even if it doesnt work out or we are incompatible that I won't have to go to the bread line...Ive wasted a lot more than that on a lot less,..Where is it written that a woman is obliged to put out because a guy bought them dinner?

 

Women are making more and are offering to pay more frequently..Great, just let them, They appreciate it if you do..Whats the big deal? Frankly I have never had to go into all of this analysis over it...

 

Carry on...

 

TFY

[soccerrprp]

Then I will say yes when you get around to moving to Australia and asking me out

 

Other than Antarctica, Australia is the only other continent I have yet to visit. I'll look you up when I get there.

[thefooloftheyear]

This is just dumb on her part. If you don't want to chip in, don't offer in the first place. And then complain, when you are actually taken up on your offer? Ridiculous.

 

To me it would be an immediate turnoff.

 

I agree with you..

 

If she offered to pay and you let her-THEN she got pissed about it then she was just playing games with you...Thats just a crappy move on her part.

 

Toss that one back in the lake..

 

TFY

[soccerrprp]

 

Seems like every thread now degrades into a big clutserfck of gender warfare..

 

I never found ANY issue..I offer to pay..Im a guy. I am fortunate that I can spend $200 bucks on a nice meal and that even if it doesnt work out or we are incompatible that I won't have to go to the bread line...Ive wasted a lot more than that on a lot less,..Where is it written that a woman is obliged to put out because a guy bought them dinner?

 

Women are making more and are offering to pay more frequently..Great, just let them, They appreciate it if you do..Whats the big deal? Frankly I have never had to go into all of this analysis over it...

 

Carry on...

 

TFY

 

Yeah, I wanted stay away from that. I have happily paid for 99% of all the dates that I have gone to. I don't have a problem with it. My posts don't suggest such, I hope. I simply think that the ladies should be a little more generous and if she offers, be genuine about it.

 

That's all.

[soccerrprp]

I agree with you..

 

If she offered to pay and you let her-THEN she got pissed about it then she was just playing games with you...Thats just a crappy move on her part.

 

Toss that one back in the lake..

 

TFY

 

She wasn't pissed. I continued dating her long after that talk. She was/is an amazing woman and the who-pays thing was never an issue again.

[Revolver]

Most women want to be "traditonal" when it benefits them and this is one of this examples. It's kinda like, you ever watch those sitcoms where the kid says "I want to be independent and be an adult" to their parents?

 

But a the same time they still want their moms to cook,clean, pick them up from places and do their laundry? Lol

[Legatus]

I don't see anything wrong with paying. I would always offer to pay, especially on first date, but I wouldn't mind if later on a woman would propose "let's go ice-skating, my treat". I do not see anything wrong with that.

 

Money is just money, it's what you do with it that counts!

[Imported]

I think I am gonna have cake for breakfast. With some coffee. Maybe bacon too.

[Lixxy]

Oh I know!!

 

There's just hoards of bitter women and men about here that grasp any opportunity to make gross and unfair generalisations to get revenge for their own disappointments.

 

The really funny thing I always think is that the people arguing are often more alike than anything else and should probably date each other.

 

....and right on cue

 

You should start up a conversation with the chick further up the page.

 

Ask her about her day. Ask her what she wanted to be when she grew up. Say something flirty about her avvy.

 

You'll probably both enjoy it.

 

Why assume that because people are debating about this topic, they're single, and should date each other? Lol.

 

If anything, assume I'm taken. I very far from being bitter. The opposite is true: men usually find me refreshing because they've been so used to women expecting the Sun and the Moon...

[pcplod]

Men have no idea that being a hot woman cannot be cheap. She has to spend a lot of money on nails, hair, skin, clothes, makeup and many other quality expensive things. Men do believe that they can get hard without all the things that women do to be hot. But, IRL, every girl knows that men cannot get hard without it. Men want us to look hot, to have beautiful faces, smiles, nails, hair, and everything else. And, they believe that all the stuff costs much less than a few drinks he might buy for us.

A man typically get ready for a date for 5-10 minutes. He typically takes shower and puts on smth that he got from Walmart several years ago.

 

 

So, let's say she is successful and he's successful in some way or form that we shall leave to the imagination and one way or another they wake up next to each other some morning, when all the pretentious crud has been scraped away and they look at each other and think, "$h1t, he/she looks like something the dog dragged in", where exactly has your ridiculous outlay of money and time exactly got you? I mean, is it possible, at least when and where it matters, to keep up the pretence, to live a photo-shopped existence, 24x7? I mean as an outside casual observer you would swear that some women actually do try to achieve it. Here in the UK we refer to them as "Essex girls" (and worse). Barbie dolls is a good universal term. I mean what real man really wants to £uck a Barbie doll, never mind do anything else with her? Honestly? I'd be afraid that I would despoil it, or break something, or something would fall off, or I would puncture it and it would be the deflation of a ridiculous dream with all the panache of a long-extended fart.

 

Just give me a non-pretentious woman who cares a little bit how she looks, makes the best of what she's got but otherwise doesn't want to oppress herself and leaves me at least some hope of not feeling like the garlgoyle dating something out of the pages of Penthouse or Playboy.

[Lixxy]

Honestly? I'd be afraid that I would despoil it, or break something, or something would fall off, or I would puncture it and it would be the deflation of a ridiculous dream with all the panache of a long-extended fart.

 

LMFAO!!

 

Wow, that was so beautiful. Perfect.