my beautiful girlfriend is so "flaunty" and its making me so jealous

[LINE6]

Hi. I go to college and my girlfriend goes to college 9 hours away from me. We have been going out for 3 years, and we have had a very hard relationship. We have gotten in many fights, but it always seems to work out. I broke up with her and eventually we got back together. It really is a strange relationship. I love her to death, yet sometimes I can't stand her. I just cant separate from her; however, I give her plenty of space. Right now, we are doing good because it is the summer, and we are home together. So heres my problem: She is a VERY good looking girl with an amazing body. Everyone is always attracted to her. I feel so strange when I go to a party with her because she flaunts her body to every guy. She loves flirting with all sorts of guys, and I know she has hooked up with guys at school. We made a deal that we can hook up with other people, but it hurts so much to think that she has been doing that. I am just very insecure about the fact that she is so "flaunty" and flirtatious. She always wears very risque and provocative clothing. I love her, but I get a horrible feeling when she is around other guys. Maybe she is just too wild for me? I do know that she is very attracted to me, but she doesn't show it in front of other people. She is really upsetting me...I keep getting jealous to the point of mild depression. What should I do?

[unreal]

Are you seriously asking for advice on this? You actually have a relationship where you two can "hookup" with other people and it is ok? Unless, you are really happy with that situation, I would be gone faster than you can say gone. What kind of healthy relationship is that?

[Dulce_Angel_Whispers]

Do you really have to ask???

 

Who's idea was it to "hook up" which I think means "sleep with" other people? Was it your's? Her's????

 

If she doesn't love you enough to be faithful and IN FRONT of you tries to get guy's attention then why would you want to stay with someone like that?

 

I understand that you love her because you've been together for 3 years but attraction is NOT enough of a reason to stay with someone! My opinion is GET Out before she breaks your heart is gives you an STD or worse.....HIV or something else uncurable! Careful..you're still very young there are many other beautiful women (if that's what's important to you) out there!

[little lamb]

hmmm, i can't help but want to respond, to tell you that you sound too good for her. It seems from your post you are her b.f. within a glass case, break in case of emergency, a soft padding to fall back on. She is insistant to be intimate with others, even with a hook-up, says she's making a mockery of your kisses and such. She's treasuring them up until she the next guys.

 

I'm in a long-distance predicament here too. Its tough you see a wonderful guy, in my case, and think whoa he's something great, you do feel lonely because I miss my b.f., but I know enough that we'll be together soon enough, so that my longing for him will be satisfied by HIM. She might like you, and your relationship is more emotionally involved, but by the rate of it she wants to tease alot of guys, feel wanted, and yet have her baby when she wants something on her time and terms.

 

You shouldn't feel depressed, she is the cause. She is making you feel like its YOUR priveldge to date HER, and it should be a mutual honor to date one another. Both feeling lucky. She apparently feels lucky foryou to have her.

 

Its harsh, and rough, and i can't imagine how your feeling, and how your heart must break. You sound like a good guy, and there are good girls out there, who would respect you by wearing modest clothing, and still looking amazing. A girl who won't lead on guys, and make you feel depressed. Write down the things that bother you, the things that irritate you make you sad, in a letter to her, you DON'T have to send it, but counterpart it with the things that she does to make you happy, (AWAY from physical pleasure) is she really that great of a catch? Poopy things to have to come down to, and have you talked to her about this civily. Try to tell her all the things that bother you, without anger, and following it up because IE i wish you wouldn't flaunt like that, guys are going to lust after you, and your worth love not lust....ect. It might not work, but then again if it doesn't and she doesn't respond maybe its time for you to write down what you'd llike in a SO objectively w/o her and she if she matches up. Doesn't sound like she's offering you much of what you need, instead she's dragging you along her little skeme. I am sorry kiddo.

[LINE6]

Thanks guys for the advice, but what I meant to say is that when we go away to college we can hook up with other people. But when we are home, we are exclusive to one another. What do I do now? She will be faithful to me, but she is still making me jealous by her flirting, flaunting, and attention craving fakeness around other guys. She acts completely fake, and it drives me insane! What should I do?

[faux]

I do not understand how you are in a relationship if you agreed to "hook up" with other people, and you know that she has "hooked up" with other people. I would say it is quite obvious that you are not happy, and I would recommend that you end the relationship. I would not even suggest keeping her around to "hook up" with, as if she is involved with multiple partners, that is quite dangerous and rather risky.

 

I recommend forgetting about this "relationship".

 

Edit: Alright, now I am reading the other post you submitted...

 

Originally posted by LINE6

Thanks guys for the advice, but what I meant to say is that when we go away to college we can hook up with other people. But when we are home, we are exclusive to one another. What do I do now? She will be faithful to me, but she is still making me jealous by her flirting, flaunting, and attention craving fakeness around other guys. She acts completely fake, and it drives me insane! What should I do?

 

Agreeing to hook up with other people is still odd and, to me, wrong. If she suggested this, or even just agreed to it, I would say there is no great relationship here. If you cannot trust her, as I can see from you being so jealous, then there really is no relationship here.

 

Relationships involve trust, and you have to be able to completely trust her to do what is right and to remain faithful to you. If you are becoming this jealous, there is a problem with that trust. Additionally, her wanting to hook up with other people down the line does not sound so great a reason to trust her, either.

 

For the time being, you should talk to your girlfriend about how you feel, and try to work something out with her. If you are upset about her being flirtatious, there is no way you are going to get me to believe that you are going to be fine with her "hooking up" with other people in the future.

[jmargel]

She has it instilled in her mind that she is 'free' in some ways. Why on earth would you allow each other to hook up with other people? Where is the commitment? Of course she's going to flirt w/ other men like that now. Good chances are, since you two broke up before I doubt she will change. You need to talk to her about this.

[LINE6]

Its not easy to forget about a girl. I know she has not slept with anyone. She may act slutty, but she doesn't sleep around. I am the only one she has ever slept with. Just forgetting about a girl and not kissing her and dumping her is so hard. Esspecially when you have true feelings for her. I am stuck in a delema and I am unsure of what to do.

[undecided]

what is your definition of "hook up"

 

if she isnt sleeping aaround what does "hook up" with other people while shes at college mean?

 

im in college too and it sure DOES mean intercourse with other people

[LINE6]

From where I am from hooking up just means getting together, kissing, messin around, but not sex.

[reservoirdog1]

I know she has not slept with anyone. She may act slutty, but she doesn't sleep around. I am the only one she has ever slept with.

 

Sorry dude, but if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you.

 

Personally, I think that people who are overtly flirty and sexually provocative (men or women) will probably cheat if given the chance. In my case, TBXW was like that, and still is; whenever she's mingling at an event and talking to men, she's all smiles, flirting, touching them, etc. Didn't used to bug me until I found out she'd screwed around with at least three men during the marriage. We're divorcing.

 

Sorry to say, but I think you need a good dose of reality. Why be with somebody who makes you miserable so much? Doesn't sound like she's much of a prize personality-wise, so why stay with somebody just because she's hot? So you can spend the whole time worrying about what she's doing when you're not around?

 

In my experience, if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck...