How to address my boyfriend's cheap ass ways?

[Sanman]

At the above, okay, imagine that a woman DOES feel entitled because of her vagina.

 

If the entire world of women feel entitled because of this, then how on earth will arguing with her in any way help him?

 

The entire world does not feel that way. Some women do and some do not.

 

Men need sex in a relationship, and more often than a women. Women have adapted and now have sex even in times when they don't want to, because this is a requirement to keep a man happy in a relationship.

 

You don't see these women complaining on LS.

 

I have yet to meet a woman that had sex when she did not want to willingly. I know plenty of men (usually married) that don't get it very often at all.

[FrustratedStandards]

I have yet to meet a woman that had sex when she did not want to willingly. I know plenty of men (usually married) that don't get it very often at all.

 

I know plenty of women who have sex more often than they want to, and they do this for their husband/boyfriend. Not all women, including your friends, but that's why they barely have any sex at all.

[Sanman]

Prostitutes don't have difficulty getting men to pay. Learn from them.

 

 

Tell that to the President's secret service advance team that went to Colombia

[Sanman]

I know plenty of women who have sex more often than they want to, and they do this for their husband/boyfriend. Not all women, including your friends, but that's why they barely have any sex at all.

 

So, what you are saying is that men are better off going to prostitutes? I mean, if I am going to pay for it, I might as well get a 20 year old hottie rather than an aging and unhappy woman who has to have sex with me!

[dasein]

If the entire world of women feel entitled because of this, then how on earth will arguing with her in any way help him?

 

In these types of threads, I'm mostly trying to warn off young dating-inexperienced men, not argue with anyone. It's been proven here over and over that women become incredibly slobberingly dense somehow (or obnoxiously facile more likely) in defining what the words "equality," "accountability," "responsibility," "fairness," mean if there is even an inkling of a chance of a "vagina-freebie" going the way of the dinosaur, so giving advice to a woman such as OP with any hope of it being followed and not ignored or rationalized away is mostly a pipe dream. Tried anyway.

 

I just noticed in another thread that you say you are rich, FS. Well either a) you aren't really rich, or b) wth do you care about the income of men you end up with? Why not go after an artist, musician, author, chef, professor, activist? This is the proof in the pudding for me on this issue.

 

Even wealthy women, women who couldn't possibly spend all the money they have, still drool at the altar of wealth in a man? WHY?? Vanity, pure vanity. Even Regina Vagina Rich wants MR. Bigtime. The very last person I'd be looking for if I were FU wealthy would be some tired boring socialite of a woman. No idea what wires are crossed in the female brain on this issue.

 

Men need sex in a relationship, and more often than a women.

 

Let's be clear. We desire sex. We tolerate relationships and the endless agendas and vicissitudes of women to get said sex.

Edited May 22, 2012 by dasein

[Alma Mobley]

OH FS, why you do insist on giving women a bad rep? You give men like dasein (hi!) so much fodder.

[FrustratedStandards]

Let's be clear. We desire sex. We tolerate relationships and the endless agendas and vicissitudes of women to get said sex.

 

Exactly, which is why women, in a sense, do have control over men simply because of their advantages when it comes to sex.

[LittlePrince]

OH FS, why you do insist on giving women a bad rep? You give men like dasein (hi!) so much fodder.

I find it funny when people still want to see women as sugar and spice and everything nice yet I have never met anyone from Candyland.

[Sid6.7]

Exactly, which is why women, in a sense, do have control over men simply because of their advantages when it comes to sex.

 

The moment any women uses sex as a stone around my neck as leverage is the moment I will immediately tell them where to go. Away! There is always someone else willing to do the heavy lifting.

 

The only reason most Men get themselves tied up in a relationship or marriage is to prevent the girl from sleeping with someone else.

[dasein]

Exactly, which is why women, in a sense, do have control over men simply because of their advantages when it comes to sex.

 

"Women" as a gender ceased to control "men" as a gender as far as sex is concerned several decades ago, and it was probably the only good thing to come out of feminism for men. Women are still the gatekeepers to sex in certain respects, but decided that they would like to f-ck just like men, have done so, are becoming more promiscuous and impulsively disordered every decade, passing those traits onto the next generations of hoochies, so the cheap easy sex days for men will likely last several more decades, long enough to see me well into dotage.

 

Some ingrained social habits die hard though, the whining men such as myself do about money in relationships is the tip of the iceberg, repeated and broadcast out over the net with greater and greater volume, and the beginning of the backlash, and male willingness to indulge women financially in relationships and marriage in return for sexual favors is going the way of the pterodactyl other than for men who strongly desire to have children. Those poor sods are still stuck.

 

I actually wanted to get married during my 30s and looking back, no idea what caused that irrational delusion other than bad acid and X in college or because "it was the next life step" which is never a good reason to do anything in life, and in the case of marriage? Living, walking, talking brain and spirit suicide for young men. This should make feminists dance a jig, because they have always claimed that marriage enslaves women -snort-.

 

OK then ladies, be ye no more enslaved! (and Brer Rabbit scampers right on through and out the other side of the briar patch!)

[kaylan]

At the above, okay, imagine that a woman DOES feel entitled because of her vagina.

 

If the entire world of women feel entitled because of this, then how on earth will arguing with her in any way help him?

 

Men need sex in a relationship, and more often than a women. Women have adapted and now have sex even in times when they don't want to, because this is a requirement to keep a man happy in a relationship.

 

You don't see these women complaining on LS.

Luckily I dont date women like this. I date women with healthy sexual appetites who actually want to be with me physically. If there are times a girl doesnt want to have sex or hook up, well I do have my hand. Im not that desperate for a shag where Ill degrade myself by sleeping with someone whos just putting up with the act.

 

No thanks

[FrustratedStandards]

The moment any women uses sex as a stone around my neck as leverage is the moment I will immediately tell them where to go. Away! There is always someone else willing to do the heavy lifting.

 

The only reason most Men get themselves tied up in a relationship or marriage is to prevent the girl from sleeping with someone else.

 

Exactly, so she is still controlling him with sex! lol! By not having sex with anyone else, and by being exclusively HIS sexually, he is committing to her. Ahaha. Funny how you contradicted yourself.

 

Men are so silly

 

"Women" as a gender ceased to control "men" as a gender as far as sex is concerned several decades ago, and it was probably the only good thing to come out of feminism for men. Women are still the gatekeepers to sex in certain respects, but decided that they would like to f-ck just like men, have done so, are becoming more promiscuous and impulsively disordered every decade, passing those traits onto the next generations of hoochies, so the cheap easy sex days for men will likely last several more decades, long enough to see me well into dotage.

 

Some ingrained social habits die hard though, the whining men such as myself do about money in relationships is the tip of the iceberg, repeated and broadcast out over the net with greater and greater volume, and the beginning of the backlash, and male willingness to indulge women financially in relationships and marriage in return for sexual favors is going the way of the pterodactyl other than for men who strongly desire to have children. Those poor sods are still stuck.

 

I actually wanted to get married during my 30s and looking back, no idea what caused that irrational delusion other than bad acid and X in college or because "it was the next life step" which is never a good reason to do anything in life, and in the case of marriage? Living, walking, talking brain and spirit suicide for young men. This should make feminists dance a jig, because they have always claimed that marriage enslaves women -snort-.

 

OK then ladies, be ye no more enslaved! (and Brer Rabbit scampers right on through and out the other side of the briar patch!)

 

And that's GOOD?! Women sleeping around with tons of men is a good thing?

 

Men already have insecurity problems because of this (she looks at other men, she has slept with more experienced men/bigger men penis-wise) and the way I see it, this can only get worse with this "sexual explosion" in women.

 

I'm not saying it's a bad thing that women have such sexual freedom. No way. I'm saying that if women were like men, the world would be disastrous. I have even seen threads here on LS about "she has had so many sexual partners" to "i'm not experienced enough (sexually) to be with her, what should i do?".

 

On top of that, pregnancy rates would be even HIGHER and we don't need more unwanted babies in a world that is overpopulated. I hate to see women give birth just because. Like seriously? Have a baby only if you truly want one and will love it.

[Almond_Joy]

When I started dating my bf, I let it be known I'd do my share of paying for stuff. I didn't want to be the gf that expected him to pay for everything.

 

I'm thinking I should have went about that in a different. He makes quite a bit more than I do(close to 12k more than me a year) and we pay about the same in bills, yet I pay for at least half of our dates/hang outs/dinners and sometimes I pay for even more than he does. He rarely offers to pay for extra stuff (like if I make him cookies or margaritas or something) or if I say I can't afford to go to a movie or baseball game, he won't offer to pay.

 

And I owed him $10 from last week. He took me to get ice cream last night and asked me to pay for it since I owed him $ any way. It was $10!!!!

 

How do I bring this up and let him know it's not ok? He is a great guy and we have a good relationship ..he is sweet in so many other ways.

 

But I've heard cheap ass ways are never a good sign. Advice please.

 

I agree with a lot of people here that you shouldn't be feeling bent out of shape that you pay for half of expenses on dates and going out and things. You said when the relationship started that that's what you wanted to do. How much your bf makes in excess of you is irrelevant to what you said you want, which is to pay your share.

 

If you two are living separately, he can do what he wants with his extra spending money, however much it is. But I will say that him not offering to cover for you when you can't afford to do things once in a while would be a red flag to me.

 

Does he get you small gifts or make you dinner? Give you backrubs/foot massages? Initiate pillow fights so you can blow off steam after a frustrating day at work? Send you poems or sweet sayings from time to time? There are many other non-monetary things that he could do or be doing to show his investment in this relationship. If you think those things less valuable than monetary contribution, then you two may be incompatible.

[dasein]

And that's GOOD?! Women sleeping around with tons of men is a good thing?

 

No, I don't think it's socially good, it is a given reality though. Suggest women shouldn't go through life with their ankles behind their ears, and let the bogus double standard calling begin, among all manner of other shrieking and sackcloth tearing. Can see it here all the time. Nothing is all good or all bad, and one way the sexual revolution was good was in freeing the male sexual desire from the necessity of marriage. A very large portion of men historically would never ever marry if they believed inexpensive sex was readily obtainable in socially acceptable ways without signing their lives and reproductive rights away.

 

Men already have insecurity problems because of this (she looks at other men, she has slept with more experienced men/bigger men penis-wise) and the way I see it, this can only get worse with this "sexual explosion" in women.

 

You are correct, at first those kinds of insecurities get worse, but then as more experienced is gained, these kinds of insecurities go away entirely. For me, the hurdle over things like penis and experience insecurity was jumped shortly after college years ago, and I certainly wasn't promiscuous or a don juan type. The types of guys you see here expressing such insecurities are mostly young, very few in their 30s or older.

 

I'm saying that if women were like men, the world would be disastrous. I have even seen threads here on LS about "she has had so many sexual partners" to "i'm not experienced enough (sexually) to be with her, what should i do?".

 

Women are already like men in their sex behavior, many much more promiscuous than all but a top tiny % of men can even be. Gender relations -are- disastrous today, and as said previously, it only takes a little experience for men to overcome any insecurity felt when dating a shopworn hoochie. We learn, realize that hoochie culture is simply a given reality today and tailor our expectations accordingly.

 

On top of that, pregnancy rates would be even HIGHER and we don't need more unwanted babies in a world that is overpopulated. I hate to see women give birth just because. Like seriously? Have a baby only if you truly want one and will love it.

 

Easy peasy abortion hides the true nature. It's not pregnancy rates, but birthrate that is the issue. We are creating generations of dependent "government issue" human beings in the left's dying gasp effort to keep itself from fading into social and political irrelevancy.

[Frank13]

OP shot herself in the foot by demanding she pay for half of everything from the very beginning. Perhaps he is worried about offending her if he pays more. What she should have done is to have said nothing and then every so often grab the bill or buy him a little gift to show him she appreciates him.

 

I had already mentioned this exact thing but everyone (mostly women) have ignored it so they can call the guy cheap.

[phineas]

I had already mentioned this exact thing but everyone (mostly women) have ignored it so they can call the guy cheap.

 

The free market has decided & some women don't like it.

If they were such a great catch men with money would be tripping over themselves to spend it on her.

Their not so instead of looking inward they blame-shift & call the man cheap.

 

I'd be considered "cheap" by many women because I have more important things to spend my money on then them.

I'd rather put money into my house than go out every week.

[mesmerized]

He's not long term material and I think you already know that. O wouldn't even act like that to my friends.

[Leigh 87]

Since when is a man cheap for expecting another adult to be able to take care of themselves and not mooch as well.

 

Its apparent to many of us here that you wish for older more "traditional" times of the male-female dynamic. Times where women and men adhered to stringent gender roles, and where a woman was placed on a pedestal without a man being able to say "nah uh". Sorry, some dudes in the present day see themselves as a prize as well. And I see nothing wrong with treating a woman just like id treat any other adult.

 

Why must I spend more money simply because Im the man? Why should I be deemed cheap if I like an even split? Seems fair to me. Maybe I have reason to be secretive about my job situation in the future so I can make sure thats not much of a factor in a chick dating me.

 

 

....... But surely, if you were really into a girl, wouldn't YOU at least feel compelled to pay for her at least SOME of the time?!?!

 

I am not talking about showering another female adult with free lunches constantly; I am saying that if a guy is REALLY into a girl, that he would pay for the movies once a week, and a coffee here and there, without worrying asbout " being even"...

 

 

Come on.......... If a guy is into you, why would he keep tabs on EVERY 10 dollars?

[Woggle]

I never understood why being cheap was a bad thing. Not wasting your money so you have more is something to be frowned upon? Really? I am cheap and it has certainly paid off.

[Sid6.7]

I never understood why being cheap was a bad thing. Not wasting your money so you have more is something to be frowned upon? Really? I am cheap and it has certainly paid off.

 

It's not being cheap, it's being smart. It's only cheap when females whine when a guy refuses to pay for the company of a female. Other than a prostitute why would any man pay for the company of a female? Yet, women would have you believe you are cheap, a loser, a lesser Man by not shelling out hard earned cash for her affection.

[mortensorchid]

I think you need to ask yourself why he is cheap. Is he cheap with anything / everything or just with you? I have encountered people who are considered to be cheap, but it's more like they have a very complicated sense of financial priority. Those who are truly cheap do not like to spend anything from necessities (rent/morgage, groceries, etc.) to extras (vacation, nights out, etc.). Years ago I was with someone like that. He would intentionally not go out and do things because he said he could not afford it, would drive 100 miles out of his way for a sale, and always cried poverty.

 

Then, just when you thought you had it figured out, he would go out and spend on something completely frivolous. He went out once and bought an electric keyboard once, cost thousands of dollars. This was something that only he would play with and no one else. I began to realize that this was a form of selfishness. And he was, I began to realize, completely selfish. He refused to compromise or cooperate, give him what he wanted and he was angry, go against him he would be even more angry. You couldn't make him happy no matter what. I learned a lot with him.

 

I think you should consider ending things, otherwise you will waste more time with him.

[Sid6.7]

I think you need to ask yourself why he is cheap. Is he cheap with anything / everything or just with you? I have encountered people who are considered to be cheap, but it's more like they have a very complicated sense of financial priority. Those who are truly cheap do not like to spend anything from necessities (rent/morgage, groceries, etc.) to extras (vacation, nights out, etc.). Years ago I was with someone like that. He would intentionally not go out and do things because he said he could not afford it, would drive 100 miles out of his way for a sale, and always cried poverty.

 

Then, just when you thought you had it figured out, he would go out and spend on something completely frivolous. He went out once and bought an electric keyboard once, cost thousands of dollars. This was something that only he would play with and no one else. I began to realize that this was a form of selfishness. And he was, I began to realize, completely selfish. He refused to compromise or cooperate, give him what he wanted and he was angry, go against him he would be even more angry. You couldn't make him happy no matter what. I learned a lot with him.

 

I think you should consider ending things, otherwise you will waste more time with him.

 

He can do with his money as he pleases no matter how frivolous you, yourself, may deem it. It's his, not yours. He can spend thousands of dollars on a keyboard he can enjoy with money that he earned himself and hit the the mute button any time he pleases if he doesn't like the tune.

[lino]

Finding a richer boyfriend will likely help if money is that important to you.

[Els]

He can do with his money as he pleases no matter how frivolous you, yourself, may deem it. It's his, not yours. He can spend thousands of dollars on a keyboard he can enjoy with money that he earned himself and hit the the mute button any time he pleases if he doesn't like the tune.

 

Anyone has the 'right' to do whatever they 'please' with anything that belongs to them, but everyone else has the 'right' to choose to 'leave' if they feel they aren't prioritized accordingly. It's my body, I have the 'right' to choose to never, ever have sex with my boyfriend and then hit the swinger clubs at night if I wish, but I doubt that'll go down well at all with most decent men.

 

In the case of the poster you quoted, if she isn't exaggerating and he really stayed in every single day and never wanted to go out with her because he had 'no money' that he spent all on a keyboard, I definitely think such a person wouldn't be compatible with me.

[freetolove]

You need to dump him unless you are okay with him being cheap forever.