Is my girlfriend just not attracted to me anymore?

[93TheHitStick]

The first two months we went out we did a lot more stuff together. We made out all the time. She was always all over me.I took her virginity. And we had sex a few times after that.

 

But for the past 4 months things have been different. She doesn't seem like she really wants to kiss me anymore. Like i'll give her a couple of pecks and she will wanna pull away.

 

She never wants to come over to my house. Or really be alone. And it seems like she always finds excuses of why we can't be alone. Most of the time she says she is scared because her mom will be mad. But her moms knows we are sexually active. And doesn't really seem to care too much. Her dad doesn't care either. They were basically like "be careful".

 

And for the past couple of months when we are sexually active its usually her doing stuff to me. She doesn't really let me touch her anymore. And she always has a stomache or something.

 

I don't get this because i do really love her. And i am pretty sure she feels the same about me. She does stuff for me no girl has ever done. And when i'm sad shes the one who cries. I really want to be with her but this is driving me crazy!

 

I tried to talk to her about it. But her response is always "i am attracted to you". or "idk why we don't do stuff anymore" or "thats all you ever wanna do"

 

And i feel like i have been more then patient. I don't even try to make moves on her anymore. It makes me really sad because i don't get what i am doing wrong. It would be one thing if she was like this sometimes. But for four months straight she has been acting this way.

 

Idk what to do because talking never seems to change anything or get us anywhere. She just gets mad and says thats all i ever want.

 

But that isn't true. I hardly even bring it up. Once a week maximum.

 

 

 

And i know a lot of answers will be "break up with her" but i don't want to do that. Even though we don't have sex she shows me that i am her number one in other ways. She has ditched most of her friends for me. And its hard for me to believe that she is cheating because she spends most of her freetime with me. She always wants to be around me. Thats why i'm confused.

[ThaWholigan]

My opinion is this,

 

I don't think you should break up with her, but I think you need to reframe what the significance of this means in your head. I am of the firm belief that relationships, just like many things in life, goes through cycles. More than one most likely within one relationship. And a sexual cycle will tend to fluctuate in my opinion. Some relationships may settle into a period where it isn't as sexualised, or one person settles into such rhythm. Or maybe she is simply taking time to explore her sexuality more.

 

Whatever it is, I think it's important that you try not to overthink what it means. She probably is still attracted to you, but maybe you need to rethink how you approach sexual encounters with her, such as what turns her on, foreplay way before sex (the term making foreplay last all day is a good example), and simply being affectionate without being sexual.

 

I'm not saying you don't do these things, but I'm guessing you're quite young so this is stuff to consider. How would you say you are with her in general when you are around, and how do you approach sex with her?

[93TheHitStick]

My opinion is this,

 

I don't think you should break up with her, but I think you need to reframe what the significance of this means in your head. I am of the firm belief that relationships, just like many things in life, goes through cycles. More than one most likely within one relationship. And a sexual cycle will tend to fluctuate in my opinion. Some relationships may settle into a period where it isn't as sexualised, or one person settles into such rhythm. Or maybe she is simply taking time to explore her sexuality more.

 

Whatever it is, I think it's important that you try not to overthink what it means. She probably is still attracted to you, but maybe you need to rethink how you approach sexual encounters with her, such as what turns her on, foreplay way before sex (the term making foreplay last all day is a good example), and simply being affectionate without being sexual.

 

I'm not saying you don't do these things, but I'm guessing you're quite young so this is stuff to consider. How would you say you are with her in general when you are around, and how do you approach sex with her?

Well i'm very affectionate with her. As much as i can be. We always hold hands. And i'll give her a kiss on the cheek. And i generally try to be all gentlemanly and crap like that. We are usually very affectionate. And wehn we aren't affectionate its usually because she is the one acting like she doesn't wanna hang out with me. So I just ignore her.

 

 

As far as sex goes i don't even try anymore. I used to try all the time. Now i just don't. Most of the time when i invite her to my house she will say no. Or she will say she has to leave within like 30 minutes of getting there. And so there isn't really enough time to do anything. The most i really do is kiss her and try to go from there. But when i kiss her she usually doesn't respond. For example she will kiss me for a second then turn her head away. So theres nothing else that i can really do.

 

If i ask her if we can have some alone time the answer is usually "i'll try" but we hardly get to be alone. And when we are i can just tell she isn't into it.

[Quiet Storm]

There are some women that just have a low libido. It could be that you are not doing anything wrong, she just doesn't have that desire.

 

I would suggest you talk to her about this and if she doesn't make an effort, then pull back a bit. Don't be so available to her.

 

Many women (especially young ones) truly have no idea how important sex is to a man. They don't get that this is the most natural and instintual way that a man expresses his love.

 

Also many young women get stuck because they fake their orgasms. They do this because they want their man to feel like he can please her, and they don't really know how to tell their man how to do that. So they fake it. After awhile, the faking it gets old and they want a real orgasm, but don't want to admit they've been lying about the faking. So they avoid sex, because it really is not bringing them enough pleasure that they seek it out. This happens with a lot of young women because they do not know how to have vaginal Os, most have not discovered their gspot yet.