I don't know how to make friends with other women...

[bridges_squares]

I am a 24-year old married woman. I have always had a hard time connecting with other women in terms of friendship. I easily bond with males and feel more comfortable around them. I am a girly-girl and have a lot in common with girls around me, however - I just get so nervous around them. I feel like they just don't like me and often, I feel overlooked because I am married. I am an introvert and can be pretty shy and quiet. I prefer to be approached, I am not good at starting up conversations. I love my husband, but I feel more-and-more the need to connect with other females.

 

Does anyone have tips for meeting other women and creating meaningful and long lasting friendships?

[january2011]

As a first step, look for shared interests. Try something like evening classes, volunteering or meetup groups (google for this).

 

Meaningful and long-lasting relationships require some effort from both parties. Start off with a good foundation, possibly from shared interests. Be there for each other to support each other through good times and bad. Make an effort to keep in touch on a regular basis.

 

I know you self-identified as an introvert, but you need to make an effort to reach out to people and meet them halfway. Sitting there waiting to be approached can come across as aloofness and some even read it as you feeling that you're too good to join in. Don't wait to be asked. Reach out to someone. Start small. Smile and greet people that you see on a regular basis - your neighbours, the receptionist at work, the clerk at your local grocery store.

[ladyabstrused]

Yeah, I used to be like you bridge_squares. And I had to learn to speak up, start conversations otherwise I'll never make it anywhere. I'm still sometimes usually quiet and can still be shy, but when there is a chance, I make an effort to speak. Sometimes it gets real hard though, I don't know what's making it so hard on those particular days but you keep trying each time there is an opportunity to speak up.

 

january2011 is right too, find people who have the same interests and it's a lot easier to conversate. I find that when you start a conversation, it always starts quite well by asking the other person how they're doing or what they're up to or how their day was like and then from there you start talking on what they tell you.

 

Somehow the people I meet, when I ask them these questions, they ask me back the same and that's when the conversations start rolling. You could give this a try.

 

P.S. You need to stop judging them of what they might think of you as this will always stop you from talking or reaching out. Clear out those thoughts. They are bound to be there among those people you talk to. All you can do is just live and be confident of the decisions you've made in life, especially when you're happy with these decisions, for example, being married. It's not a bad thing at all at that age to be married. I'm 23 and a lot.. I mean a lot of my friends are already married, engaged or getting married soon.

Edited May 20, 2012 by ladyabstrused

[CopingGal]

It's hard for me too, bridges squares. I only have one good friend. He is a male and he is wonderful. I had a really good female friend and she died. I have been talking to another female friend, but she is very busy and it's been hard getting the friendship off the ground.

 

I live in a town where everyone is either very young or very old. It's very difficult here and I am very lonely.